My husband and I sit down for dinner most nights and when we think about it (3-4 times a week) we read a Scripture verse together and then pray.  Last night we flipped to a new verse and he had me read it.

Funny part: I quickly read the address and thought it said John 1.8.  As I started reading I said to myself, boy, this sounds like it should be in the Old Testament!”  Go figure, it said Josh 1:8 instead.

“This book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it.  For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good succcess.” – Josh 1:8

In business, ministry, personal life, Christian walk, there is usually something written on how to succeed.  Just go look at any local bookstore and you will find more than you could possibly read on the subject.

So, here was the nation of Israel coming out of years of wandering, crossing into the land the God provided them, the death of their faithful leader was in their recent memory and a young guy comes to lead them.  Joshua was brave and faithful when others weren’t.  But, what does God tell him to do in order to be successful at all that may come his way (and the Israelites) as he led them?  DO NOT let the Word depart.  That means just what it means in Deut 6:4-9: think, read, say, do the Word ALL THE TIME.

Joshua needed to be successful.  God gave him the way to do it.  God had given His people His law and He demanded they keep it (and side note: since they couldn’t keep it, He had to make provision to by sending His Perfect Son who could keep the Law to be our perfect atoning sacrifice).

Anyway…

Success doesn’t come with making more money.  This isn’t the health, wealth, prosperity verse of the Old Testament.  If you take it with the rest of Scripture, you will find that even the faithful face many trials and even death (we all face death – but Jesus made death die).

Success doesn’t come with having a broader and bigger ministry.  God may give you success by being in your home with your children, writing for a few, or speaking to none, or maybe you will have the opportunity to speak to nations or write a best-seller.

Success doesn’t mean life is perfect.  As many successful people will say or at least the line of a Dan Seals country song “for everything you win there’s something lost”.  Success hurts some people.  Folks don’t know how to handle the success they are experiencing and some things (family, other relationships) completely fall apart.  I saw a preview for a new “reality” show where 3 successful, handsome, most of the time shirtless men are looking for love.  They are successful but still don’t have the love of their lives and think that a reality show is going to help find that for them.

God does promise (and He always keeps His promises) that we will have success in this life when we follow His rules.  He is the Governor of this world.  His success isn’t the same as our success.  But, I know I would rather have His success than my own!

People watching, I’ve loved to do it for a while.  What I’m seeking to do is not pass judgment (which is a constant Spirit work in my heart), but make observances.  I’ve been doing family ministry (or involved in it) for about 6 years now, so it always peaks my interest to see what I see.

I am sitting here today at my local sanctified chicken establishment.  Watching families as they eat lunch, use their technological devices, and play on the indoor playground.  Here are just a few glimpses into families in Little Rock.  I guarantee you can find families like this in your neck of the woods, and probably in your church as well.  More questions for that at the end.

1.  A Mom and teenage son and daughter arrive in a purple Escalade.  Mom didn’t say a word to either since they got out of the car.  Son has earbuds in his ear and hasn’t said a word since sitting down.  Daughter is struggling with her weight (like the rest of family) and is wearing VS Pink sweatpants.  Mom finally spoke – when her cell phone rang.  Other than that they are all not talking to each other and are all on their devices, whether texting or listening to music.

2.  A business Dad on his lunch break (has on bank nametag and in a business suit, so I’m making an assumption here), has a quick lunch break with his son.  They exchange a few words, then they depart after being here less than 15 minutes.

3.  A runner-Mom (attire fits the description) allows two toddlers to play in the playground while settling into a conversation on her phone while they play.

4.  A group of young moms sit together and chat while their children play on the indoor playground.  They seem like they are having fun and the kids are playing nicely together.

Here are just four snippets into American life as we know it.  Now, how does this apply to our churches and family ministry?

1.  Family Ministry isn’t perfect.  We can have the best parenting classes and programs, but our programs aren’t perfect nor our teachers – neither are the people in the class.  Sin has damaged every family since the beginning of time (see Genesis 1-4).

2.  Are we ready to ministry to dysfunctional families?  Rarely do you see intact families these days: one marriage, kids in the family.  Is that really typical?  Not anymore?  I’m not saying we need the 2.5 kids, white picket fence, and golden retriever, but how do you minister to families that don’t have it all together?

Answer: Prayer, biblical counseling, and coming alongside them – not just preaching at them.  Share your life with them.  If there is no Dad in the picture, Dads – be a Dad to those kids.  If a widow, then be the church and practice true religion by loving and serving them.

3.  How do our church members relate to those incoming families that may not look like everyone else?  Do our members or staff want to only ministry to the put-together families or do our members and leaders want to get our hands dirty.  I admit it is hard.  The family I grew up in is far from perfect.  There would be much I would want to change in my own family now as we raise our son.  But, ministering to families who are completely different than you is hard.  It takes faith and grace.

How does your church minister to families?  How are you reaching a familial society that doesn’t communicate and are seldom sitting down together to talk, eat, share a meal, or even play games or do an outdoor activity or trip together?

What does it take to be a women’s ministries director at a church these days?

Gone are the days where most normal size (meaning 500 and above) churches do not have some sort of women’s ministries director (whether volunteer, part time, or even full-time in large churches).  Church leadership has become wise to the fact that since probably more than half of their adult population in their congregations are women, they need someone to “shepherd” them – or at least plan tea parties, Bible studies, and girly retreats.

But, if a church is seeking to hire a women’s ministries director for their church: what should be on the list of requirements?

To Include:

1.  Salvation.  Yes.  That is a given, but not only salvation, but a growing, vibrant, real relationship with their Creator, Lord, and Savior.  When interviewing, don’t just ask them how did you come to know Jesus, but also ask what is Jesus doing in your life today, this morning, last weekend…

2.  Biblical Knowledge.  Coming from one who has a seminar degree, yes, I do believe that you need some biblical training to adequately lead a larger church’s women’s ministry.  Just as you would want a pastor to have a seminary degree, I would expect a women’s ministries director to have the same.  Seminaries today, like Southern and SEBTS, have great programs that many women are excelling in.  Seminary is not just for pastors, but are for anyone who is called into ministry.

3.  A Passion to See Women Grow in Jesus.  This is a given, too.  Women must be their main focus.  And, if you love women – you have to love their families and children (if they have any).  To love women is challenging, I think.  It takes a high level of patience, creativity, and an ability to show love and leadership to many different personality types.

4.  Ability to lead.  Just as the qualification for pastors is to lead, so for the women’s ministries director.  She will have to lead small groups, training teams, conferences, etc.  She will need to be on staff with men so she needs to be able to not only lead, but also be submissive to her pastors over her on the church staff.

5.  Competency to Counsel.  We all come with baggage.  Women need strong, loving, Biblical counsel in how do handle WELL every situation they encounter.  They don’t need someone to coddle them or to pacify their problems or to overlook their sins, but someone to rightly divide the Word of God in answer to the distresses in their lives.

Optional:

1.  Ability to Write.  As some churches are looking for women’s ministries directors now, they want a superwoman.  Writing is hard.  I am not good at it and I’ve been doing it for 13 years now.  To be an effective women’s ministries director, you do not have to be the most talented and gifted author who has the ability to write the top ten best seller Bible study.

2.  Ability to teach large groups.  You don’t have to have the most dynamic speaker to head up your Spring Conference or Winter Retreat every year.  Not everyone has those gifts.  But, they may.  That is why this is optional.

3.  Looks.  Let’s face it.  If you are in a large city church who has mostly 30-somethings in your church and you have many rock-star pastors on staff – you don’t want a frumpy women’s ministries director.  You want someone who looks like she just stepped our of a MadeWell catalogue or off the JCrew runway.  Most women aspire to be that – but most women are not that.

4.  Someone like them.  Do you hire from within or bring someone in from the outside.  You want a woman that your women can relate to.  You don’t want someone who is totally different from your women.  They will need to sit and have coffee with her and be in her home, these should be ideas that are appealing to your women in your church.

The problem I see with most churches who are looking for a women’s ministries director: most people want the total package.  They want someone who is married with three children, a seminary degree, the ability to write and teach with stellar audience appeal, and one that is HOT.  Let’s face it, a church isn’t going to put “Wanted: a HOT women’s ministries director” on the job description.  But, it is more than understood.  Don’t even apply if you don’t have the looks.

How does your church handle women’s ministries?

No electricity, milking cows, sewing my own clothes…that’s not what I mean.

However, the Amish people have a simple way of life that I think would benefit everyone to look at more closely.

Leadership strategies and professors and books would say the same thing: be intentional and prioritize your life.  To be successful at anything you can’t try your hand at everything.  So, how am I as a wife and mother (as my day job) seeking to live this out on a daily basis?

I have five goals.  5.  Count them on one hand.  Everything I do in this life I try to stick to each day (note: some days are better than others).

1.  Love Jesus.  Ok, this is a copout right?  Wrong.  If I don’t get this one right, then I don’t get any of the others right.  As Matthew’s gospel says, “Seek first…JESUS”.  What this looks like in my life: praying without ceasing (1 Thess 5:17), hearing my hubs read the Word or read books to me (love this time either right when we wake or right before we go to bed – this week its Passion by Mike McKinley in time for Easter), studying and journaling through my devotions (right now it is Psalm 119).

2.  Love my family.  My husband and son, outside of Jesus, are the two most important men in my life.  I live with them, love them, serve them, rejoice with them, weep with them.  I would NOT want to live life without them.  So, during my day, I ask myself: what would most benefit them?  Then, I try to do it.  That may be doing something I dislike: ironing pants or changing diapers – or something I like: making a yummy dessert or snuggling with my boy.

3.  Invest in my home.  I am at Rainwood (our home) most days out of the week.  I actually really love it.  That is not to say that I don’t ever like to go out and have somewhere fun to go and yes, I do get stir crazy when its really cold and I don’t want to take Little Buddy out in the cold to go for a walk.  But, I love seeing what our home is capable of: painting, designing, cooking, grocery shopping, menu planning, etc.  I’m not a wonderful homemaker like some people I know are, but it is growing on me.  I doubt I will be like some homemakers I know who sew everything, cook everything from scratch, and are up at 430 in the morning.  That’s not me.  If that is you, go for it.  Live intentionally!

4.  Invest in my creative outlet.  I have two main creative outlets: this blog and other writing projects and also Grateful Praise Photography (see link at top of page).  I have to have a creative outlet somewhere and these two are it.  I want to put time and energy into writing and taking photos/making cards/running this business so it is successful.

5.  Have meaningful friendships.  I want to live a life of authentic community with people.  I love opening up our home and having people in to eat and hang out with us, be a part of our family.  This is something the Sweet Mister loves as well.  It is our shared common vision for Rainwood and our marriage.  I also want to have real relationships with people.  You can’t have real relationships with people if you aren’t wiling to go beyond the surface in your conversations.  You have to be willing to admit your failures.  Especially as an Elder’s wife in a church: most women in their church don’t know their elder’s (or pastor’s) wives.  This needs to change.  And I can help implement that change.

What are your life’s goals and how do you structure your schedule to fulfill your goals?