When your almost 5mo naps well and sleeps well at night, you have opportunity to think a lot. That is what I’ve been doing – and it isn’t easy on my heart, to say the least. The mister and I have had many conversations about discouragement in certain areas for me: good thing is he is a man who prays for his wife.
Have you ever heard someone say, “I’ll always struggle with ________”? What that said person is saying, in my opinion because I say it too, is “the gospel isn’t big enough to cover that sin”.
Oh, how far we are from the truth when we assume that we will always sin or struggle with a certain sin – is the blood of Christ not richer and deeper than that said sin?
Instead of pointing fingers, I’ll speak about some areas that I have said that:
1. Weight/Food. I’ve been overweight since I was in 4th grade. Don’t know what happened. I was thin in 3rd grade, and pudgy in 4th grade and the pounds kept coming. Puberty? Too much eating? Family dynamics change? I don’t know, but I do know when it occurred. Since then I’ve either been overweight or thin – but never able to stay either place for long. I’ve eaten too much, grown out of my clothes, been too lazy to exercise on a consisten basis – then the scale numbers have gone up and I’ve been unhappy. (Note: I really think the Spirit being grieved in a believer’s life will make us sad.) And if the scale is going down or at a point where I want it to be: I concern myself with clothes or looks too much, counting calories too often and it consumes my every thought, or I judge those who are eating too much. Do you see how many sins are wrapped up in this one area of “overeating”
2. Patience – or my lack thereof. Here is one example where this has come to light in the last few months. If I have to repeat myself or feel like I am not being listened to, I get all huffy and repeat it in a snappy tone and very unloving to the one it is said to. Since when is pride and impatience a part of love?
So, do I really believe all this talk about the truth of the gospel and how He can penetrate and change every heart that is out there because He created every heart and all things were created for Him and to Him and through Him? Do I really believe that God has a grand plan for my life and it doesn’t include these sins or any other? Then why do I allow myself to struggle with such sins?
God is bigger. God is better. As a friend of mine said today about something totally different: “I can’t do this.” You are right, M, you are right. I can’t do this. But, the power of the gospel working daily in me to make me more like Christ can (Romans 8). I am reading Elyse’s new book on Comforts from Romans and I look forward to hearing the nuggets of truth ring in my head as I am reminded about the gospel once again. I am in daily need of it.
The phrase that the Spirit put in my head today is: Your heart must be Mine. And that is the truth. I need my heart to be captivated by Something so much better and bigger than me that I no longer desire to struggle with weight and food issues, impatience, bitterness, popularity, judgment.
Is the Gospel big enough in your life