1 Dec 2016

Ways to Fight for Your Marriage (Giveaway)

by | posted in: Uncategorized | 6

 

Some things in life are not worth fighting over: team sports, lesser theological topics, some political issues, etc.  But, there are definitely some things worth fighting for: marriage is one of them.  And the only one you are totally responsible for is your own.  Yes, you can pour into other couples and their marriage and you can disciple others, but ultimately you are only responsible for your own.

Being married for 5 years, and having gone through some really difficult circumstances in those 5 years: out-of-state moves, job changes, traumatic birth, another birth soon after, commission jobs, change in life direction, loss of friendships, damaging personal relationships…we’ve had to fight for our marriage.

Here are some things we do to fight for our marriage:

  1.  Sometimes, you go to bed angry.  Ok – we’ve all heard the saying don’t go to bed angry, and the principle is biblical (don’t let the sun go down upon your anger).  We’ve learned that one thing we can do when we are angry with each other is sometimes just go to bed.  When we are tired and crabby and angry – we usually don’t have healthy conversations.  So, we will call it a night, go to bed, and typically by morning, we are better.  We will still have some things to talk about, but we have rested, prayed, and calmed down.
  2. Taco Night.  Often times during the week my husband and I don’t eat meals together.  He’s at work, I eat with the kids, he gets home late, etc.  But, on Sunday nights, as far as it is up to us, about 830pm, after the kids are in bed, I get Chipotle tacos and guac – 12$ if we buy two guacs.  We sit on the couch, talk, eat, laugh.  Sometimes we will talk for about 3 hours – something we did when we were dating, married but didn’t have children, you know the scene.  Sometimes we will watch a show on Netflix (right now: Leverage, West Wing, Blacklist).  Just sitting shoulder to shoulder, eating yummy food (that I didn’t have to cook), and talking or just being with each other – ends our weekend, long Sunday, and spurs us on to be married another week.  I love it!
  3. Being in the Word.  We do not do our devotions together.  We actually find it hard to pray together and it is something we are working at.  But, we do each have time in the Word each day, and that helps us love God and love each other better.  I often tell him what I need: more of Jesus, more of him.  Two things I can never have too much of.  Cary and Dena Dyer have written a book for couples, a compilation of their story as a couple, humor, biblical wisdom for married couples, and discussion questions.  A couple things I really liked about the book was they shared their own stories.  Some marriage books give tips and pointers but don’t delve into their personal marriage any.  I love people’s stories and I want to know how they live their marriage each day.  Another thing I liked was the talking points at the end of each chapter.  Some couples find it hard to talk – or find things to talk about – and need help.  One thing I didn’t like was that I couldn’t see my husband reading this book.  It didn’t seem to fit a guy writing/reading style.  I know most books are bought and read by women.  So, maybe how a wife could do incorporate Love at First Fight into her marriage is by bringing up some of the questions to her husband.
  4. Get the long vision.  I heard one time that marriage is a long walk in the same direction.  Get a long vision of marriage.  We seemingly have been in one hard season after another in our 5 years of marriage.  And maybe one day the hard season will end, but we know that we wouldn’t want to walk these hard seasons alone, or with anyone else.

If you would like to win a copy of Love at First Fight, just leave a comment on your best marriage tip.  Sponsored by Shiloh Publishers and Sidedoor Communications.  All thoughts are my own.

7 Nov 2016

Humility: A Christian Response to the Election

by | posted in: World Events | 1

The election and humility

West Wing.  Such a great show.  My husband and I had heard for so many years that this was definitely a show to binge on, and we finally started it about a year ago. We took a small hiatus, and finally started it back up again last night in season 4.  (No spoilers please).  Last night we watched an episode where they interviewed past Presidents and some WH staff.  It was very interesting, especially hearing Bill Clinton, who may very well be the “First Mister” in two days.

Every four years, we as Americans get the chance to witness an act that brings out the best and the worst of Americans.  The election of POTUS clogs up social media, runs every news hour, and is the topic of many church sermons.  Some of that is warranted, some of it is overdone.

I have been reading Hannah Anderson’s new book Humble Roots, and although the topic of the book is so far from the POTUS election, it is on a state of heart that would do us well to have during this election season.  If you follow social media at all, most people are uptight about this election, because no matter where you fall in political position, most likely neither candidate, or any write in, or third party, will line up exactly with all of your beliefs, or really has a chance of winning.  We joke about electing Charlie Brown, or Jed Bartlett, or George Washington, or any member of the Cubs baseball organization.  We can’t control the outcome of the election.

“All your anxiety, all your worry, all your sleeplessness, can’t change a thing.  And suddenly you come face to face with your limitations.”

As I have come to know the past couple of days, there are really only a few responses that we have as Christians.  After the voting takes place, we don’t need to fret, or complain, or trash the candidates, or even joke about moving to another country depending on who wins the office.  Below I’ve listed some of the responses that we can have:

  1.  We can realize that we aren’t the POTUS.  We aren’t the one sitting behind the desk in the Oval Office, jetting around on Airforce One, signing lots of bills into place.  And with that in mind, I don’t think we can even begin to criticize what the POTUS does.  When we criticize someone in the office, or any elected office, we display a heart of pride.  And ungratefulness.  Humility and gratitude go hand in hand like a beautifully wrapped package.  Our humility allows us to rest and not criticize or be anxious.  This goes with so much in life, which includes the coming election.  “So what does it mean to trust Jesus for rest?  How does seeking His kingdom free us from anxiety and stress?  He frees us from our burdens in the most unexpected way: He frees us by calling us to rely less on ourselves and more on Him.  He frees us by calling us to humility.”
  2. We can pray.  We can pray to a God who puts all the kings and presidents in place.  We can pray to a God who is in control of every election and every vote in every country in the world.  We can pray to a God who grieves over the sin of abortion and the mistreatment of refugees, and the abuse of women, and the lack of leadership, and a lack of acknowledgment of Him as the True King.  He is so more able than we are.  I think much of our anxiety regarding life, motherhood, or the POTUS election is based in our lack of trust and failure to pray.
  3. We can pray FOR the POTUS – whoever it might be.  Whether we have a Clinton or a Trump – we only have one response to them – to pray for them.  To respect them as their position calls for.  Our bashing of the POTUS speaks only of our disobedience.  We are to submit ourselves to the POTUS because God has put that person in place of leadership.  That doesn’t mean we have to perform abortions or do anything against the Word of God.  We don’t have to change our political beliefs.  We do need to pray, be gracious to others who might have differing opinions, and be active in a gracious, humble way.  Being rebellious to the Word of God by bashing the President will not bring glory to the name of Jesus, who has called to us obey HIM above all.

Humble Roots is a fabulous book y’all.  Especially as a mom of littles and a creative and blogger, I often read books that talk so much about how to deal with our frazzled lives.  How to balance, plan, organize, etc.  This book takes a different approach to our frazzled lives.  Anderson gets at the heart of our frazzled-ness.  She uses personal examples, the Word of God, and gardening (such wonderful illustrations) throughout the book to get at the heart of our wrecked lives.

“And so we must respond to Jesus’ call.  We must come to Him.  We must come to Him and learn of His gentleness and humility.  We must come to Him to be tamed.”

All quotes taken from Humble Roots by Hannah Anderson.  Published by Moody.  Thank you for Moody for sending me the book as part of their review program.  All opinions are my own.

4 Nov 2016

A Useful Tool to Help Kids Get the Gospel

by | posted in: Books, Kids r Readers 2 | 0

I love NCIS.  Longmire.  CSI.  Law & Order (back in the day).  Blue Bloods.  Leverage.  I love crime shows that usually get solved in a short amount of time.  They take finding clues and knowing how to interpret those clues.

In some ways, the Gospel is the same.  Faith is given to us.  It is a gift from the Spirit.  But, we can also investigate and prove true the claims of Christ.  We can know that Jesus really existed, died, and rose again.  And we can teach our kids something similar.

We still need to pray that they would indeed be given grace and faith to understand and love and surrender to Jesus and the Gospel.  But, giving them tools to understand the gospel and know it is super helpful.

Cold Case Christianity is a new book that will be helpful in teaching your kids, I’d say especially boys before they reach the teenage years.  It has help from a real detective and a real believer, with good diagrams and helpful questions for them to ask questions about Jesus for themselves.

This will encourage them in their walks with Jesus.

Thank you Litfuse for sending me the book.  All opinions are my own.

13 Oct 2016

Life Creative (a review)

by | posted in: Books, creatives, mothering | 1

One of my favorite questions to ask moms is : what do you like to do, you know, besides being a mom?

That question can be controversial, but I really don’t mean for it to be.  What I want to know is what is inside this woman, other than being a mom.

We all know that with being a mom comes a ton of love, responsibility, and fun…but not lots of time for ourselves, or our former selves.  Motherhood has to be selfless – which is really hard, I’m learning.  And I’m not great at that – but God is teaching me in his generosity that that is what I need.

One of the ways God wired me is in creativity.  Actually, that is one of the reasons my husband said he married me – is because I’m fun – I love to be creative and think outside the box.  I also love to do that in my motherhood journey.  I love to try new recipes – all the time.  I go all the time, taking my littles with me to new parks, or library story times, or just to a new aisle in Target.  I love reading books with them and letting my boys be in the kitchen with me – or in the yard with me learning about new bugs (oooh, gross), or new flowers that seemed to have popped up over night.  It is never ending.  I don’t like boredom, whether in life or in motherhood.

And I love to be creative in my personal life too.  I have loved photography since high school.  Loved to cook since college.  Loved to letter and write for what seems like forever.  These are things that still excite me.  So, they are also things that fuel me.  How do these things help or help me engage in motherhood?  Well, I love to take photographs of our every day – or of our special days.  I love to cook for my family and for other families.  I love to letter to help me meditate on the Word (to help my heart) or to give to others, or to help with our family finances.

Life Creative is a book written by two women who seek to encourage moms to not only be creative, engaging with their creative side (and we all have one because we are made in the image of a creative God) but to also encourage moms to encourage their kids to be creative.  We may not be talking about painting and cooking.  Creativity can take on many different forms and be used in many outlets.

Whether you are struggling to find your creative outlet, think your kids are getting bored, or are maybe struggling to decide how to use your creative gifts right now (especially in the throws of motherhood), this is a great book to encourage thinking and discussion.  I would read it, discuss some of it over coffee or tea or wine with a fellow mom, and also, discuss some of your thoughts with your husband – who I hope will encourage you to use your creative gifts.

Litfuse, the group that gave me this book to review, is also hosting a giveaway for you and a Facebook party!

6 Oct 2016

Total Family Makeover (a review)

by | posted in: Books, parenting | 0

As my kids get older, I think I start to notice all of my expectations of parenting get washed away.  When I was growing up, we lived in a neighborhood with mostly family, went to a small church where we really only interacted with 1-2 families, and I went to a Christian school and really don’t remember doing things as families with anyone.  Of course we had friends, but it wasn’t essential in our upbringing to surround ourselves with community and family.

When I get to college that all changed for me.  I surrounded myself with families and loved them and learned so much, but it wasn’t until 20 years later that I had a family of my own.

I now want to do a couple of things in family/parenting life:

  1.  Make sure my mister and I are always on the same page especially in our calendar and parenting.  This is so crucial to success.
  2. Surround ourselves with those who are ahead of us, but also with us in our stage of parenting – and who share similar grace and parenting styles.  Community is so important.
  3. Pour grace into my husband and my children.  I think the main way I do this right now is through asking forgiveness each time I do something wrong (which is often).

In Total Family Makeover, Melissa Spoelstra, tackles some important topics on how you can work toward a more discipleship centered home – because isn’t this our most important task as parents – to raise those who will Lord-willing seek after God because of HIs grace?

If you normally don’t read book introductions, read this one.  She hit the nail on the head.  Sundays are usually the day I feel the worst as a parent.  My kids disobey walking into church, or don’t obey me in childcare, or always need discipline.  While seemingly most around me have perfect children and I feel are always looking at my with disdain or disapproval.  I know this isn’t the case, but I always feel like a failure.  She tackles this and is so encouraging.

The areas of discipleship she highlights in this practical book: praying together, Bible time, mentoring, church community, serving, rest, giving, and evangelism.  All of these are personally important, and definitely are important for your family.

My one suggestion = read this book.  Maybe read it with your husband, or just give him your takeaways.  Pray together and see which area you can tackle first.  Its like if your house is a mess and you try to clean the whole things at once, you’ll get discouraged.  I would start with one thing and then go on to the next.  You’ll see God reward your obedience in these areas with success and grace.  He wants our families to be more Christ-like!  He is for you in this endeavor!

This post is sponsored by Litfuse who gave me the book.  All opinions are my own.  And you can win a great prize pack for a fun family night (think free pizza and books and games!)  Enter here

6 Oct 2016

The Last 5 Minutes (a book review and giveaway)

by | posted in: Books, Kids r Readers 2 | 4

Our days are filled with so much.  From the time the alarm goes off (before 6 for me) until I crawl into bed (usually between 10-11 at night), so much happens.

I get my older on the school bus while it is still dark.

I read all my social media, blogs, emails, etc – get everything cleaned out.

I spend time in the Word to fuel my mind and soul for everything that will come my way that day.

I sit with my husband for a little bit before he gets ready for work.

I run and errand and play at the park with my little.

We do lunch with the older gets home from preschool.

I work, play, cook, clean during naptime for the younger while the older gets to hang out with me.

The gym comes later in the day as we sing songs while sitting in ATL traffic, play and workout, and have more fun in ATL traffic on the return trip.

I cook dinner (or buy fast food).

I head upstairs to put the kids to bead.

Right now, our bedtime routine, which is usually me because my mister works retail, is still hard, but getting better.  Everything in parenting is for a season and I see that more and more.  In parenting, things always change – like the weather in Carolina.  We brush teeth, change diapers, and sit down to ask some catechism questions, say our Bible verses, and read a story out of whatever book we are reading.  Some times this process goes better than others, but you never know.

5 Minute NIghttime Bible Stories from Tommy Nelson has been a really good resource for us.  Our boys are 3 and 4.  They don’t have long attention spans at that night, but we expect them to sit still and listen.  These have been a dose of truth with teaching them Bible stories and encouraging them to pray at the end.  We did enjoy the colors and pictures.  The stories were more than one page, so the boys could turn the pages.  But, it wasn’t too long that they lost interest  The authors asked questions to involved the kids in each story (to appeal to different learning styles).

I think it is always a good idea to end the day with learning about Jesus, praying, instilling a restful peaceful truth of the gospel into your children.  Sometimes our nights aren’t so peaceful, but we work toward that with much grace!

This post is sponsored by Tommy Nelson and they are giving you a copy!  Answer the question – what is one tip you could give to other parents on bedtime routines!

 

3 Oct 2016

Jesus and the Beanstalk (a review)

by | posted in: Bible, Books | 0

I’m one of those people who find it hard to stick to one thing.

Maybe blame it on a lack of patience, or always wanting to see results, etc.  I really find it hard to believe I’ve been blogging for 11 years almost – that I’ve stuck to something that long.

For me, I like to jump around in my Bible study  I don’t mean that I just pick out a verse and think about that.  No, I like to do different things any given year.  Maybe I’ll read through the Psalms while doing a Bible study.  Right now I’m going page by page through the Bible to find out what God says about Himself.

Jesus and the Beanstalk would be helpful for folks like me, who may want to change up their quiet times or Bible study time near the end of the year.  Lori Roeleveld has written a humorous but good study through the book of Second Peter.  This will give you a lighthearted look at life while walking you the little book of 2 Peter.

She helps you look at the characteristics that you need as you walk the life of faith in Christ to battle any (and many) of the giants that you will inevitably face in this life.

Thank you to Litfuse for this book.  All opinions are my own.

24 Sep 2016

Love, Henri

by | posted in: Books | 0

Each of us is on a spiritual journey.  Whether you consider yourself a Christian or another religion, all of us are on a journey that takes us outside of ourselves.  Journeys are important.  I believe that Jesus is the only true way to God – who created each of us and has a perfect wonderful overwhelming plan for our lives.

Part of my journey was in college where I was introduced to the writings and ministry of Henri Nouwen.  My youth ministries professor and friend had us read many of his books and they were very insightful and spiritual.

Now, 20+ years later, I’m still enjoying Nouwen’s writings. I’m sure all of us would have different opinions on his writings, his life, and his beliefs…but I do know that he ministered to people out of his own brokenness and the healing that he found in his relationship with God.

Love, Henri is a collection of his correspondence over many decades of his life.  I love the biographical nature of each heading – knowing where he lived his life and people’s lives that he helped…but mostly I loved how he intersected life and his beliefs in God into every breath.  He hurt. He loved.  He ministered.  He traveled.  He needed people.  He needed God.

I hope you will pick up this book, read the letters, as if Henri was writing to you.  And be encouraged.

And that is one reason I love snail mail – the opportunity to encourage others.  And have the ministry that you do live beyond yourself.

Thanks Blogging for Books for this book.  All opinions are my own.

10 Sep 2016

Should You Study the Book of Acts? (Giveaway and Interview)

by | posted in: Bible, Books | 1

I minored in history, I grew up doing cemetery rubbings on vacation (put a piece of paper over old headstones and coloring it with a crayon), I love love love history, and honestly, confession here, I often times find the book of Acts boring.

I know…maybe it has something to do with its narrative and I’ve read it before so I know how it ends – or maybe there aren’t enough imperatives in it for me to live our in my daily life (like sharing the gospel and being a sold-out Jesus freak aren’t enough).  Or maybe it is because I don’t experience the Holy Spirit and his work like that in the book of Acts on a daily basis.  Maybe its because my Christian life experience is so different then those in the book of Acts.

A new study, written by Erica Wiggenhorn, helps me and hopefully will help you, learn to love the book of Acts.  In this study, she helps you engage with a part of history that you might otherwise find difficult, she helps you personalize stories and the character of the Spirit that otherwise might seem distant, and she helps you see the power of the Word of God.

Here are some insightful questions that Erica took the time to answer for yall:

Most women have two thoughts about Bible Study that hinders them from digging into God’s Word : 1) I don’t have time. 2) I won’t understand it. How does this Bible study encourage women to step out of those two hindrances?

I love these two questions, because they encompass a couple of primary reasons why I felt called to write this particular study. I’ll start with obstacle #2 first! The very first page of this study begins with “Let’s Open Our Minds” and quotes Luke 24:45, where it says that Jesus opened the disciples’ minds so they could understand the Scriptures. My favorite thing about Bible study is how it allows the Holy Spirit to open our minds and understand Scriptures in a new and fresh way we had never thought of before. It allows us to access all of the time, research and background that an author has poured into a passage of Scripture and consolidate it for us, the reader, in such a way that we can achieve greater understanding without having to spend hours researching ourselves! The characters and circumstances come to life in such a way that we can relate to them as real people.  So on to #1! What we discover in the lives of the early believers was that their lives were unexplainably changed due to their commitment to following Jesus alongside other believers and to studying His Words and teachings diligently. The truth is none of us “have time” but if we know in our soul that we are missing out on something in our Christian walk, we know in our heart that we are not as intimate with Jesus as we would like to be, and we know in our mind that there must be more to this whole following Jesus thing than we are currently experiencing, then we must intentionally choose to “make time.” Time spent with God in His Word will always return more to us than we ever spend!

 The book of Acts can be such a compelling book to look at the work of the Holy Spirit. What are one or two of your favorite characteristics of the Spirit?

I love how the Holy Spirit personalized each conversion story. He never does the exact same thing twice in the book of Acts. It’s as if He knows each person’s heart and does all that He can to help us believe and overcome our unbelief! Another thing I love is how He works in the lives of those who already  believe. Again, He does unique things in each person’s experience in order to give them the greatest chances to obey. Sometimes He sends an angel, other times He speaks directly, other times He operates through a vision, occasionally miracles happen, but each and every time the experience is personalized. It makes me realize that He is not some impersonal cosmic force, but a form of God Who knows me, sees me, loves me, and desires to be an intimate part of my everyday life!

How do you balance everything you do?  Is balance the right word?  

Well this is a funny question, seeing as I how I was just venting to my husband this morning that I “have way too much to do!”. I think balance may be a misnomer as every day contains new variables and unexpected circumstances for which we did not expect or plan. I think “prioritize” might be a better word! Despite what each day brings, am I able to keep my priorities in line with what pleases the Lord? Do I still spend time with Him, still talk to Him, still minister to my family above everything else that needs to get done? One thing that helps me immensely is to go back to the very beginning of creation and realize that the first thing God created was time. He is Lord of time and knows all I have to do and how much time I have to do it! When I intentionally make time for Him each day, whether I get everything crossed off on my to-do list or not, my perspective remains constant, my attitude is more likely to stay in check, and the people I love the most get the best of me rather than the leftovers! When I don’t start by investing in my relationship with God first, but frantically grab my to-do list, I’m usually less effective throughout the day and not nearly as gracious in my relationships :).

 What are three things you are loving right now?

Only 3?! One thing I am loving is continuing my study of the early church! I am making my way through the rest of Acts and I am in awe of  how the Holy Spirit continued to work in these early believers’ lives! I am starting to wake up and say, “Okay Holy Spirit, what have you got planned today? This cracked pot is your vessel- fill me and use me!” Secondly, I am loving David McCasland’s book Oswald Chambers: Abandoned To God, because it is the life story of my favorite devotional writer. I have gone through My Utmost for His Highest for the last several years and knowing the circumstances behind his devotional entries brings them to life in such a powerful way. It parallels the illumination that occurred in studying the historical and cultural background behind the stories in Acts and allows with me to connect with the apostles and early believers more deeply.  Thirdly, I’ll confess I am loving Hannah’s Italian Ice! It’s a little cafe near our home and they mix flavored ice and custard in layers- super delicious! My kids and I love to go there after school and cool off from the hot Phoenix afternoons and share what happened during the day. It’s a little splurge that helps me connect with my kids and when you’re raising tweens, you’ll take every moment you can get!

To win a copy of her new study, An Unexplainable Life, which is a study on the first half of the book of Acts, just answer the following: what are a few things you are loving right now?

Thanks to Side Door Communications for this study and for the giveaway to one of you.  All opinions are my own.

 

10 Sep 2016

Do You Struggle with Shame? (Interview and Giveaway)

by | posted in: Books | 2

In today’s world, as a woman with any title, career, family status, marital status, or body type – you have probably struggled with shame over something.

Maybe its your infertility and you think its your fault?

Maybe its over your husband’s sexual sin – or your own sexual sin?

Maybe its because your children regularly disobey you in public settings?

Maybe its because you binge or purge with your relationship with food?

Maybe its because your house doesn’t look like a Pottery Barn magazine like the rest of the homes in the neighborhood?

Maybe its because of the debt that you know has a hold on you – and your checkbook?

Maybe its because you are the only single woman at your high school reunion?

All of these situations can produce shame.  But, they don’t have to.  If you are in Christ, there doesn’t need to be any shame.  You are righteous in Christ.  You can not be condemned (Romans 8).  He is yours and you are His.  Sin, rightly so, needs to be repented of and turned away from – but you don’t need to feel shame.  Shame even happens in relationships in our churches.  Maybe we don’t live up to certain standards.  Oh, friends, don’t let shame run your heart and mind.

Laura Dingman recently published a study on shame and how we can let the Word and Jesus help us.  I got the opportunity to ask her a few questions (to help you get to know the book and her better).  Keep reading and there will be a great giveaway at the bottom of this post:

Why this study?  Why now?

I think a lot of writers end up penning what they’ve learned firsthand. That’s my experience, anyway. I feel like I can only write about that which I have lived. These are lessons God has taught me over the past several years. Lessons about who I really am in Christ. Lessons about why I really hide and how I deal with shame. Lessons about what it looks like to partner with friends for the sake of the Gospel. Lessons about God’s relentless love that just never quits pursuing. So, the short answer is it happens to be what I’ve been learning. The other piece is it seems to be a conversation I’m having a lot with people I’m doing life with—whether in ministry or just life in general. Shame cripples us and keeps us from so many things. The conversations about connection are growing right now as well. The Gospel story offers a solution to shedding shame and connecting with others. It seems to be relevant in our current cultural climate.

As you teach women to study the word, what is the one thing you hope they walk away with?

I pray they have a greater understanding of how Christ actually views them. That Jesus loves them enough to give his life away. That He values them and they matter to the Kingdom. I pray they know they were once lost and now have a place at the table with the King.

 

For those who want to be a writer, or ministry leader, how do you balance ministry life and personal life? 

This is something I’m still trying to learn!

Don’t be afraid to say no.

Don’t be afraid to prioritize the relationships that matter most—the ones under your roof.

Beth Moore has a great quote: “God will never call you to sacrifice your intimacy with Him on the altar of ministry.” This is so true. I think it’s also true of intimacy in your most important relationships as well. If something is suffering—your family life, your relationship with God, the fruit of the Spirit, your awareness of God’s presence—you’re probably doing something God hasn’t called you to do. It’s that simple.

So much of the time we do more than we need to do. We are driven by “should.” Wayne Cordeiro wrote an excellent book called Leading on Empty in which he talks about your 5%. He explains that as leaders we typically focus on the 95% instead of the 5%. Your 5% consists of things only YOU can do. For me, I’m Matt’s only wife (and I’d like to keep it that way!), and Abigail’s only momma. No one else can substitute for me in those areas. No one else can care for or steward my body for me. These are the things in my 5%. I’m a writer. Other people can write. I’m a worship leader. Other people can lead worship. I’m a Bible teacher. Other people can teach the Bible. If I lose sight of my 5% because of the 95%, I’m out of balance and in need of recalibrating. It’s hard to say no in our culture because we don’t want to disappoint people. I’m a recovering perfectionist and a people pleaser, so it’s extra hard for me. But when I do exercise the power of a well-placed no—which ultimately leads to the even greater power of a well-placed yes—the difference astounds me.

The more my identity is secured in Christ, the easier it is for me to stay balanced. I’m not searching for approval and acceptance based on what I’m achieving. Instead, I’m allowing the Creator to love me and give me worth. And from that place, I can do good works He planned for me long ago.

Laura’s book, I Am Found, is helpful with Scripture, probing questions, and her desire is for you not to be perfect, but to rest in and pursue Jesus.  His love for you – let that be where you find your identity.  If you would like to win a copy, please leave a comment here or on social media with a verse that helps you when you have those less-than-perfect moments.  Thankful that she wrote this study and allows women to come wholly to the Word to experience freedom in the gospel.

Thanks Side Door Communications for the book and the giveaway.  All opinions are my own.