10 Jun 2013

Opinions are Overrated

by | posted in: Uncategorized | 1

Friends of mine have a rule to not speak to each other before a certain time in the morning – mainly because I think they aren’t morning people (at least they have learned these things in their marriage). That is somewhat anecdotal – but how many times do our tongues get us into trouble.

My trouble?  Always (or a lot of the time) speaking what I think.  Sharing my opinion.  As of this morning, I think that opinions are overrated.  (Didn’t I just share an opinion – I’ve got a long road to recovery!)

Here is why and some guidelines as to whether you should share your opinion or not:

1.  Eph 4.29: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”  I won’t even give examples, but use your brain and heart to answer these questions about your opinions that you so are ready to share: 1.  Is it corrupting?  2.  Will it build up every hearer?  3.  Does it fit the occasion?  4.  Will it give grace?

2.  Deut 30: 14, 19-20a: “But the word is very near you.  It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it.  I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and, blessing and curse.  Therefore, choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying his voice and holding fast to him.”  Again – no examples, just questions: 1.  Is what you are about to say a biblically based opinion (of course I’m not talking about mundane things like choosing a restaurant).  2.  Will it bring blessing or cursing?  3.  Are you being obedient to the Lord in sharing or even having that said opinion?

3.  Proverbs 21:2, 23: “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.  Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”  1.  Would the Lord agree with your opinion you are about to share (meaning what is in  your heart and why are you sharing it)?  2.  What is your heart motivation in sharing your opinion or being heard (often for me it is because of pride and I think I’m right)?  3  Do you daily practice “keeping your tongue”?

After some previous conversations and looking more in depth at these verses and asking these questions – I may do a lot less talking and a lot more listening.

29 May 2013

How to NOT be a Nagging Wife

by | posted in: marriage, mothering | 0

We have a Tudor style home – one with large peaks on its corner  As we were trying to see about getting the siding replaced this past weekend, I realized how I would never want my husband up on that roof.  How dangerous would that be.

That brings new light to this Proverb: “Better to live on the corner of a roof, then to share a house with a nagging wife.”

How would you say you are in the nagging area?  Nagging can be so much more than just pestering your husband to take out the trash or pick up his socks.

I’ve learned something about this this past weekend as well.  My husband can sense when I am upset ( I don’t have a very good poker face), and more times than not he knows why I am down or struggling.  We’ve only been married for less than two years, but he knows me well (and sometimes, that’s very scary).

But, I could have either chosen to say something about what it was that was bothering me, and therefore make him feel even worse about said subject, which we’ve had many conversations about – or I could choose to praise him and give thanks to him and shower him with blessings for everything he does for me and how godly of a husband and worship pastor and father he is.

Which do you think is better?

Nagging or praising?

I remember watching the movie classic, If a Man Answers, one in which the MIL wants her daughter to begin treating her husband like a dog to see if his behavior changes any.  Most dog owners will tell you that dogs can be trained with rewards, love, scratching behind the ears, etc.

I’m not saying that is the way to go – more than likely – when you start praising your husband, you will find the things you are unhappy about will change or disappear altogether.

The Bible also tells us to speak words or encouragement to those around us, respect our husbands (nagging doesn’t fall in the respect category), and speak well of them to others.  If we are constantly nagging or thinking poorly of our husbands, won’t that come out in our speech to others?  However, if we are constantly loving our husbands well with our speech, then others will follow suit.

Don’t we want to encourage others to walk in love and good deeds?

And how important are the socks on the floor anyway?