Book Review: Is That All He Thinks About (Taviano)

posted in: Books, marriage | 1

Disclaimer: This is a book about sex.  There, I said it.  My husband even asked me one time as I was talking with him about some of the topics in this book: “What are you reading?”  I told him it was a book for wives in sexual relationship with their husbands and only their husbands in a Christian marriage.

Taviano is a wife, mother of three girls, and a writer and blogger.   Is That All He Thinks About  is a quick but thought provoking read for wives in a married relationship.  She discusses many topics and answers that she discovered not only within her life and marriage relationship but also in a survey that she asked to friends.  With her findings, she seeks to help women live and live well their husbands in relationship to all things that go on in and outside of the bedroom.

I’m glad that she covers a wide variety of topics, even “taboo” talks that Christian women might not ever dare ask to friends because they don’t want to deal with misplaced shame – and she handles them in a biblical way, citing Scriptures when necessary.  If there isn’t a Scripture that deals specifically with a certain topic – than she uses biblical wisdom and other Scriptures and even just common sense or healthy living to come up with her opinions.

There is one problem I have with her book (and many other books on this topic written for women).  Many authors make an assumption that all men (or 99%) of them have sex on the brain all the time.  In my conversations with women, I don’t find that to be the case.  Some I spoke with before getting married myself dispelled that theory quickly.  There is one chapter in her entire book that deals with women who want more sex than their husbands and why that is the case, and what you could do.  I didn’t find it adequate.

Help women see that they most likely aren’t freaks of nature just because they desire more sexual relationships (not just romantic thoughts) than their husbands and help them deal with the guilt that may accompany that feeling.

Two practical ideas that come from reading this book when issuing it as a recommended read for other women:

1.  Read with caution.  Don’t take for face value everything she says (or any other author).  Think carefully and pray thoroughly through these sensitive topics.  Sexuality can make or break a marriage relationship.

2.  Talk to your husband.  It may be awkward at first, but you can’t just do things that a book says not knowing whether or not your husband is even similar to the men talked about in this (and other) books.  Your husband is YOUR husband.  The sexual relationship is between you and him.  Be honest, share, and grow together – even if you’ve been married 3 months or 25 years.

Thanks Marla for the book!

One Response

  1. Thanks for the review, Kimberly. In my research, I found that 80-85% of wives are in marriages where the husband wants sex more than the wife. That 80-85% is the intended audience of the book. To spend more than one chapter on someone other than your intended audience isn’t acceptable to a publisher and doesn’t really make much sense (I was stretching it to include the one I did.).

    I’ve also had women in their 60’s write me and say I didn’t talk enough about sex in your older years. I’ll tell you what I sweetly (and seriously) tell them: I can only write from my own experience and to a specific audience. And I think YOU should write a book from your experience to another audience. Let me know if you do!