16 Jul 2010

Carolyn Mahaney on Effective Womanhood

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GirlTalk has been an invaluable tool and resource for me over the years. I wanted to share this with you as a means of encouragement and discipleship and growth. You can see the whole blog here, but these are the 7 Habits of the Highly Effective Woman:
So with this in mind, I came up with a list of 7 Habits of the Highly Effective Woman (to borrow from the title of the bestselling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People). We will consider these 7 habits over the next few days. This list has evolved out of my years of personal study on this topic. It certainly is not an exhaustive list; however, I hope it will be helpful.

7 Habits of the Highly Effective Woman:
1. She rises early. (The 5am club. Shopping for Time. This is something I do well for seasons of time, then I get out of the habit – like many of these. But, this is a Biblical concept.)
2. She maintains the spiritual disciplines. (Again, I think some of these go in and out of season for me, but most are a pretty set part of my life now. What are some Spiritual Disciplines that you do? Two books which would be good here are Don Whitney’s and Richard Foster’s.)
3. She focuses on relational priorities for every season. (This is key for different seasons of life. I just had a conversation with a mom the other day about the importance of pouring into people at different times in life – making different relationships a priority.)
4. She sets up regular times for planning. (I had a great idea to do this at Caribou on Friday mornings at 7am – I thought of this before I moved to Raleigh – I need to be more diligent with it.)
5. She develops an effective to-do list system and calendar/planner system. (Well, my planner system is my phone, and my to-do list is usually in my head. It works well for me. Find what works best for you. As long as it works.)
6. She establishes an efficient routine for managing her home. (I need to work on this one. It doesn’t matter if I have a roomie or live by myself. I need to be a manager of my home. It isn’t going to naturally come into place if I ever have a real “home” of my own. How do you manage your home? What tips would you offer?)
7. She organizes her house systematically. (what does this look like? You can find further thoughts on the Girltalk Blog)

14 Jul 2010

Truth About Men: Tracy Byrd

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As most readers know, I love country music. But, I also try to think through country songs. Tracy Byrd’s new one (and friends): The Truth About Men made me think yesterday. Seeing the video (which I won’t post due to some material that I will not post on my blog) made me sad for the state of affairs among men in this world. Unfortunately, Christian men are NOT immune to these things. Not all of these things are sinful, but just read the lyrics (more thoughts later):

We don’t like to go out shoppin’,
We don’t care what’s on sale.
We just want to sit with a bag full of chips,
Watchin’ the NFL.
When you come over at half-time,
An’ say: “Does this dress fit too tight?”
We just look you in the eye with a big fat lie,
An say:”Uh, uh: Looks just right.”

Well, that’s the truth about men.
Yeah, that’s the truth about us.
We like to hunt and golf on our days off,
Scratch, an’ spit, an cuss.
It don’t matter what line we hand you,
When we come draggin’ in.
We ain’t wrong; we ain’t sorry,
An’ it’s probably gonna happen again.

We hate watchin’ “Steel Magnolias”.
We like “Rambo” an’ “Die Hard 4”.
Jump up and down like fools when we see the new tools,
At the Home Depot store.
We don’t really wanna take you to dinner,
At some fancy restaurant.
The only reason we do is ’cause we know it leads to,
The one thing that we all want.

Well, that’s the truth about men.
Yeah, that’s the truth about guys.
We’d rather play guitars and work on cars,
Than work on the problems in our lives.
An’ though we might say it to you,
Every now and then,
We ain’t wrong; we ain’t sorry,
An’ it’s probably gonna happen again.

Well, if you want to know what we’re all thinkin’,
It’s nothing too complex.
It’s just somethin’ cold for drinkin’,
And a whole lot of s-e……

Yes, that’s the truth about men.
Yeah, that’s the truth about us.
We like to hunt and golf an’ drive around, lost,
Scratch, an’ spit, an’ a whole lot of other disgustin’ stuff.
It don’t matter what line we hand you,
When we come a-crawlin’ in.
We ain’t wrong; we ain’t sorry,
An’ it’s probably gonna happen again.

We ain’t wrong; we ain’t sorry,
An’ it’s probably gonna happen;
Sure, it’s gonna happen;
You know it’s gonna happen again.
An’ that’s the truth about men.

You know it, son.

I want to give you a comparison:
John Piper’s definition of biblical manhood: (this does not involve not playing golf, or watching the NFL, or having sex with your wife):

AT THE HEART OF MATURE MASCULINITY IS A SENSE OF
BENEVOLENT RESPONSIBILITY TO LEAD, PROVIDE FOR AND
PROTECT WOMEN IN WAYS APPROPRIATE TO A MAN’S
DIFFERING RELATIONSHIPS.

And if you need better descriptions: 1 Tim 2, Titus 1, Eph 5 – those are better qualifications.
Ladies: how can we as women encourage Biblical leadership and character to the men in our lives? For more on this topic: read Gary Thomas’s Sacred Influence and Carolyn Mahaney’s Feminine Appeal.
I am very thankful for the men in my life who live differently than this model that Tracy Byrd sings about. They live with God as their focus, encouraging their wives, treating other women as sisters in Christ. Thank you for giving me good role models and standards.

14 Jul 2010

CS Lewis and Charles Darwin in the Movies

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I usually do not go watch movies in the theatres when they first come out. I will make it to our fabulous 1.50 theatre when they finally come there, or I will wait till the summer and see them outside at one of the 4 places in the Triangle that show them “on the green”. I just saw Blind Side and thought it was pretty good – maybe I’ll pen those thoughts at some point in the near future. This weekend I am watching Where the Wild Things Are for free on the green as well.
Anyway, there are two coming out later in 2010 that I may make an exception for. One I’ve been eagerly anticipating and one I just found out about today.

13 Jul 2010

On Complementarianism

by | posted in: Women | 0

Jonathan Leeman has a fabulous article in the new 9Marks journal on relationships between men and women (complementarianism/egalitarianism). I was just able to teach on biblical womanhood at a youth camp with my church. Honestly, one session went extremely well, one session could have gone better. I wish I had some of this before I went. This discussion can get confusing if not presented and articulated well, especially when not knowing where your hearers are coming from. Always be ready with a biblical answer – and always submit to the authority of Scripture and Christ when speaking on this. That is how I’ve worked on my conversations. I try not to share my opinion – because why does my opinion ultimately matter. But, the only lasting perfect words on this subject is from Scripture.
Thanks to Dr. Burk for highlighling this article and for the men at 9Marks for putting this together and for CBMW for being around for so many years giving us good resources on this topic.

Jonathan Leeman has an excellent essay in the latest 9marks journal. In short, he argues that Complementarianism is crucial to discipleship. It’s worth reading the whole essay, but I want to highlight one section that I found particularly helpful. It will frame the way I engage the “borders” from now on. He writes:

‘Too often, the discussion about complementarianism gets stuck at the borders. For instance, people get marooned on matters like whether it’s appropriate for adult women to teach high school men. Where’s the line, they ask. But focusing on the borders of what’s licit is a bit like the dating couple who asks, “How much can we do with each other physically? Hold hands? Kiss?”

‘There is a place for such questions, but what’s needed first is a positive statement about how to promote biblical masculinity and femininity among young men and women. The dating couple, instead of asking, “How far can we go?” should instead ask, “How can we serve one another and best prepare the other for marriage?” In the church, likewise, we should ask, “How can we best help these high school women become mature women, and these high school men become mature men?” But that’s a question a church will never think to ask if it doesn’t have a positive vision for Christian masculinity and Christian femininity in the first place.

‘So let’s try again: Is it okay to have adult women teaching high school men? Well, frankly, I’m not entirely sure if it’s licit or not, but I do know I want those high school men to learn what it means for men to take initiative and biblical leadership in the church. And I do want the women to learn what it means to love, affirm, and support male leadership in the church. Therefore, I’m going to be very careful about what models I place before them. In most circumstances, I’m going to have Bible-loving, initiative-taking adult men teach the group as a whole, while having mature women support and assist that ministry.’

This entire issue of the 9marks journal is devoted to the complementarianism and is titled Pastoring Women: Understanding and Honoring Distinctness. Go check it out.

12 Jul 2010

Overcoming Unbelief

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For the past 2 weeks I’ve been battling this.  Battle – yes, this is a spiritual battle.  Satan is real in this world.  And in this world we will struggle with sin, deal with its effects, and battle Satan.

1 Peter 5.8: Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour

But, Christ has overcome the world, Praise Him!

John 16.33: I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world!

I do two things in battling unbelief:

1.  Pray.  That is what Jesus tells us to do:  Mark 9.23-24: And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

2.  Quote Scripture.  This is why it is important to hide it.  I quote it, and repeat it to myself, and counsel others with the same verses that I am repeating.  God’s Word is true.  He is faithful when I am not.

I read this today by Spurgeon:

“What is this matter of capacity?  What capacity is wanted?  Capacity to believe?  I tell you, children have more of that than grown-up persons.  I am not now speaking of the spiritual part of faith, but as far as the mental faculty is concerned, there is any quantity of the capacity for faith in the heart of a child.  His believing faculty has not yet been overloaded by superstition, or perverted by falsehood, or maimed by wicked unbelief.  Only let the Holy Spirit consecrate the faculty, and there is enough of it for the production of abundant faith in God.” – (Come Ye Children, Spurgeon, pg 49)

1 John 5.4: For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.

Resources other than Scripture:

Piper Sermons and Battling Unbelief

12 Jul 2010

Monday Much & Link Love (July 12 edition)

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I thought I would have this as a weekly post.  It allows me to be transparent and send you link love from friends/blogs I read.

1.  Saturday night was one of the most enjoyable of my 3.5 months in Raleigh.  Headed to the NCMA to watch the Blind Side on the big screen.  Free, football (movie), and friends.  Going back this Friday to watch Where the Wild Things Are.  Never saw it when it was all in blogosphere, so now I get to watch it for free!  And I love hearing people laugh, and learning what they laugh at!

2.  I miss the weekly and way Sojourn does communion. 

3.  I love the pastors at my church.  They are a true treasure to me.

4.  Can one ever eat too much Mexican food?  I don’t think so.

5.  I started a new blog: For the Love of North Carolina.  Check it out. 

6.  My brother is fishing on the Suwannee this week and my parents just started their 3 week cross country train trip.  I think Ty and I are the only 2 working. 

7.  UVA trip to write and photog and hike this week.  I really love UVA – the campus is gorgeous and there is so much history there.  I’m taking the backroads up there, so maybe I’ll get in some cool NC shots for the blog.

8.  I am losing a battle.  It is all about choices.  Today, I took the stairs, did jumping jacks, and will do two miles on a treadmill tonight when I get home from a long day.

9.  Michael Weatherly and Mark Harmon – who can’t just love those two!

10.  Knowing that no matter how many times a day people have babies, it is still a miracle of God and we can never take those births for granted.  Praying for some folks in Durham.

11.  Sometimes there is pain in the joy and joy in the pain.  But, I will rejoice. 

12.  Found out about pregnancies and engagements this week – God is good. 

Link Love

1.  I don’t know if I would wear this, but it makes me think of one of the greatest fiction men of all time.

2.  If you have girls who love pink (every girl should love pink), then this would be a fabulously decorated room.

3.  I am thankful for this guy’s sense of humor and the way he has really mentored me in some way since 2003.

4.  If you love the fiddle or the drums, watch this.  I personally liked the second one better.

5.  I admit, I do this.  Do  you?

6.  If you want to be a better writer, you must be a better reader.  This is why I do so much of it.  Justin Taylor recounts Doug Wilson.

7.  This is definitely one of my favorite summer cookies.  I love them.

7 Jul 2010

Wonder Woman, Feminists, and Biblical Womanhood

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The only comics I read growing up were Archie and the Sunday Funnies.  I loved waking up each Sunday morning and looking at the brightly colored comics – now many of them I don’t even know, nor are they funny.  I miss the days of new Garfields, Peanuts, and B.C.

DC Comics are a different thing altogether.  Even though I’ve watched most of the movies, I’ve never read any of the actual comics.  I know they are very different and I can’t call myself a fan if I haven’t.  But, I have watched Unbreakable by M. Night and there are some creapy comic book fans out there!

I love the original Batman, The Dark Knight, Batman Begins, all the Spideys (of recent years)…  But, what of Wonder Woman?  I don’t think I ever watched an episode/rerun with Lynda Carter (THE Wonder Woman in most opinions).  I grew up watching the Smurfs, Strawberry Shortcake, and The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show (loved 11am on Saturday mornings). 

I came across this blog yesterday and did some thinking about it.  Why hasn’t Wonder Woman been as big of a HERO as her male counterparts?  Is it because she isn’t strong enough?  No.  There are reasons at which I’ll get to later.  One of the statements in the blog I read brings up an interesting fact of feminism and lesbianism (do they really think this will sell more copies):

“Comic books are a male-dominate, testosterone fueled medium.  Guys grow up wanting to be Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, and Captain America.  Wonder Woman is eye-candy and the hot chick they fantasize about.  First, last and always.  The small percentage of women and girls that read Wonder Woman hardly make up for the large percentage of men and boys who don’t.  The best rendition of Wonder Woman is and was the Lynda Carter version – and she wore the one-piece.  Even then the character of Steve Trevor was introduced only to give Wonder Woman someone to rescue every week and give her a little heterosexual cover.  The woman is almost 70 years old.  Isn’t it about time she finally chose a side.  Drag her out of the closet and let her start singing Melissa Etheridge and Indigo Girls songs.”

Amazon, not the bookseller, but the home of WW, is an all-female planet.  Females dominate.  “Wonder Woman is an Amazon (based on the Amazons of Greek mythology) and was created by Marston (an American) as a “distinctly feminist role model whose mission was to bring the Amazon ideals of love, peace, and sexual equality to a world torn by the hatred of men.”  I would love to go back and interview the creator of WW for DC Comics.  Created by a husband/wife team who lead a polygamous lifestyle, WW was seen as a loving superhero who embodied the feminist, non-traditional woman of the day (WW2).  Marston, the main creator, said this in 1943:

“Not even girls want to be girls so long as our feminine archetype lacks force, strength, and power. Not wanting to be girls, they don’t want to be tender, submissive, peace-loving as good women are. Women’s strong qualities have become despised because of their weakness. The obvious remedy is to create a feminine character with all the strength of Superman plus all the allure of a good and beautiful woman.”

The more I study this – the problem goes deeper.  So, basically, we have, all demonstrated in WW: helpless men, all-powerful, attractive, sexy, loving, truthful, I’m-in-charge woman.”  This is what we as Americans are giving are girls.  Now they want to make her a lesbian or a feminist?  They aren’t too far from the truth according to some.

But, without going further…how can we as Christians (especially women and mothers and those who work with young women) counter this?

1.  Please do not misunderstand me – I am not advocating door-mat women.  I am not advocating weak women.  Just to get that right.

2.  We need to advocate biblical feminity.  I like how John Piper defines it:

“At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive, and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman’s differing relationships.”

3.  Scripture tells us women of the Word will be wise, fearing the Lord, industrious, hard workers, strong, giving, nurturing, trusting in her God, dignified, praiseworthy, gentle, quiet, modest, self-controlled, woman of good works, submissive to her husband and those in authority over her (see above quote), reverent in behavior, not enslaved to much wine (or any other bondage to sin), teachers of what is good, training the younger to love their husbands.  These are just some of the commands/descriptions of women – not to mention all the traits of any one who considers themselves to be lovers of God, bought by the blood of Jesus.  (Prov 31, 1 Timothy, Titus 2)

When I think of Wonder Woman, I see a woman who is trying to be all things, take charge, not submissive, pleaser of self, helping others (of course, she is a superhero), someone ogled by men, not gentle or meek or quiet. 

When allowing your sons and daughters (and yourselves) to watch/read things in culture – do you know what those people are trying to teach your children or you?  I just read some Spurgeon this morning:

“Whether we teach young Christians truth or not, the devil will be sure to teach them error.”

As a married woman – the book I can recommend is Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney.

For a single woman (like me) – the books would be Girls Gone Wise by Mary Kassian or Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? by Carolyn McCulley.

For a mom of older daughters, the above mentioned Girls Gone Wise. 

For a mom of younger daughters, Girl Talk by Mahaney and Whitacre (her daughter).

6 Jul 2010

Anne Quatrano's Jumbo Brownies

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Atlanta has many nice and tasty restaurants, and even though I can’t speak for this one personally – if this girl is the dessert person – then it can’t be anything but delicious!

I made these and gave them out (and ate one or two, and stuck the end pieces in my freezer).  First time I have gone to Caribou just for 2 shots of espresso.

I got 12-16 brownies out of a 9×13 pan (so these are big).  And rich.  And needs ice cream (or milk).

1 lb unsalted butter

20 oz semi-sweet chocolate (next time I would add in more dark)

1 cup flour

1 T baking powder

1 tsp salt

6 eggs

2 1/2 cups sugar

2 T vanilla

2 T espresso

6 oz semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 heaping cup chopped walnuts

350, 9×13 pan lined with foil, sprayed with pam

Melt the butter and 20 oz of chocolate.  Whisk together dry ingredients.  Beat eggs and sugar for about 5 minutes until light in color and frothy in texture.  Add vanilla and espresso.  Mix in melted chocolate.  Fold in chips and nuts. 

Bake for about an hour.  Cut and serve.

6 Jul 2010

Book Review: Piper's Filling Up the Afflictions of Christ

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One of my favorite types of books are biographies.  John Piper does an excellent job in the Swans Are Not Silent series of combining autobiographical writings, biography, and application.  The 5th book in the series, Filling up the Afflictions of Christ, is no different.He he highlights William Tyndale, John Paton, and Adoniram Judson.  Judson was the one I was most familiar with because I did missions and college ministry at the Summit.  You can’t be at the Summit for any amount of time and not know of Adoniram Judson.  Tyndale and Paton were familiar – but didn’t know their story as much.

Here are some of the key things that I underlined:

I remember Bruce Ashford saying something like this in the first chapel message he preached (as a professor) at SEBTS: “What is lacking in the afflictions of Christ is not that they are deficient in worth, as though they could not sufficiently cover the sins of all who believe.  What is lacking is that the infinitie value of Christ’s afflictions is not known and trusted in the world.” (22)

(Tyndale)  “The key to spiritual achievement is to work hard, and to know and believe and be happy that God’s sovereign grace is the decisive cause of all the good that comes…  That is they both believed in hard work to say things clearly and creatively and compellingly when they spoke for Christ.”  (36-7).  I need to remember this in my writing projects. 

Most memorable John Paton quote: “I confess to you, that if I can but live and die serving and honoring the Lord Jesus, it will make no difference to me whether I am eaten by cannibals or by worms; and in the great day my resurrection body will rise as fair as yours in the likeness of our Risen Redeemer.” (58)

“Often since have I thought that the Lord stripped me thus bare of all these interests, that I might with undistracted mind devote my entire energy to the special work soon to be carved out for me, and of which at this moment neither I nor anyone had ever dreamed.”  (75)  May I live my life with this FOCUS.

How I need this: “(Paton’s Mother to her children) “Oh my children, love your Heavenly Father, tell Him in faith and prayer all your needs, and He will supply your wants so far as it shall be for your good and His glory.” This is what Paton trusted God for in claiming the promises: God would supply all his needs insofar as this would be for Paton’s good and for God’s glory.” (77)

When life is painful (Judson): “As with all events under God’s merficul providence, this painful circumstance had some remarkable positive effects.” (95)

Honestly, when I question, I always say this – because it is my firm foundation – the truth and character of God – whether I agree or understand it or not.  “Adoniram had been sustained with hope and with a spirit deeply submissive to the providence of God.” (99)