9 Jul 2016

Choosing Joy

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Choose Joy

In light of all the hate around us, we can choose joy.  Choosing joy is within us, because the Holy Spirit lives within us.

In the hate-filled world we live in, in which we are raising children, in which we encounter all sorts of situations that are just waiting to dump rain on our parade, we can choose joy.

Joy is not the same as happiness.  Happiness is based upon our circumstances.  Joy is based on something deeper, more abiding, and longer lasting – it is based on the character of God and the joy that He gives because we know that He is supremely in charge.

How can we cultivate choosing joy when so much around us is joy-less?:

  1.  Surround ourselves with pretty things.  Yes I know this is superficial, but if I include fresh flowers, yummy treats that are pretty to look at,my happy smiling boys, together time with my mister, sunsets, and good books – if I include them in my day – those things help fuel a joyful attitude.
  2. Memorize Scripture.  There are so many Scriptures that will help us fuel the joy that is within us.  Romans 15:13 and Isaiah 12:6 are great ones and easy to memorize.  Write them down and keep them in visible places.  (If you want a joy verse handlettered, just hit me up for a custom handlettering job).
  3. Be grateful.  Keeping a gratitude journal or reading books on gratitude will help you as well.  I’ve just started 1000 Gifts and I love Choosing Gratitude.  Such a great help in keeping our minds on the little blessings God has given us.  And these would make great activities any time of the year.
  4. Write snail mail.  Sitting down to write mail to others, and even send little gifts, help me remember why I love people.  I love seeing the best in them, encouraging them, and adding some beauty to their days. If you need some new stationery these are perfect for any occasion (or no occasion at all).

What are some ways that you choose joy in your life?  How you do encourage your friends and family to cultivate and choose joy?

20 Sep 2014

The One Thing I Can’t Do as a Mom

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A Mommy Failure

Failure.  Usually a bad word in our family.  My husband has often told me to remove it from my vocabulary.  But, I think even my husband would agree with this.

I often find myself reading “mommy” blogs or parenting blogs or asking friends how to discipline or instruct their toddlers.  I know families that have all boys in them (or mostly boys) and I would love to go on vacation with them just to see their family in action for a week or so.  I know every family is different and every parents parents differently.

But, there is one area that I am a complete failure in – and I thought I’d be open and honest and share it with you.

I can’t turn my child’s heart toward God.  There.  I said it.

And you know what…neither can you.

Now, please hear me out.

I can teach my boys Bible verses, read them Bible stories, tell them about the gospel and how Jesus wants us to obey him and make wise decisions.  I can hug on my boys and give them lots of kisses and show them affection: before, during, and after they need to be disciplined.  I can love my husband and help them to have see a marriage that is striving to have the Gospel at the center.

I can put people in their lives that will help influence them to be more like God.  I can tell them how to share and be kind and not push and shove and don’t through your cereal on the floor and don’t kick your brother and don’t bite.  I can tell them not to run in the parking lot and hold my hand and all of it.

But, what I can’t do is change their heart.  I can’t make them love Jesus.

Only the Holy Spirit at the will of the Father through the sacrifice of Jesus can do that.

The Bible is clear that God is the Master of Salvation. The Bible is clear that Jesus died on the cross to save sinners.  It is clear that the Holy Spirit works in the lives of believers.  It is clear that everyone is a sinner (even cute little blond hair boys).

Ephesians 1:3-14:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ 10 as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

It is also clear that we as parents have responsibilities to lead them to Jesus.  To show them the gospel (by word and deed).  To pray for them.  To discipline them.  To be Jesus with skin on to them.

Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child. It doesn’t say change their hearts for them.  It says POINT THEM TO JESUS

And oh, how I need the help of the Holy Spirit to pour life into me, to help it flow out of me – so that my children will be pointed to God.  And we will pray that God has saved them by His wonderful, amazing grace.

This post is to encourage you.  You can’t change your child’s heart –  but you can pray and show them a God who loves!

13 Nov 2010

Tedd Tripp Live: Parenting During Early Childhood

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Tedd Tripp was at Sov Grace Apex this morning. First, a note about Sovereign Grace Churches. There is something about them. The people are very gracious when you walk in, very welcoming, the prayers are very grace centered – not big long drawn out theological prayers. Its very nice. I have been to this church before when it was a newer church, went to one of their small groups. A friend of mine goes there and really loves it. God has allowed it to grow over the years. Excited. Love SG churches!

Tedd Tripp
Shepherding a Child’s Heart
Sovereign Grace, Apex, North Carolina
11.13.10
(As a side note: I was told by a friend attending the conference that this truth is so good to hear, but much harder to apply when there are diapers that need changing and kids pulling at your skirt or throwing food at the dinner table. There is grace not only for your kids – there is also grace for you. None of us are perfect parents. Live in grace, dear friends. God’s grace is sufficient, even for your parenting.)

“Living Joyfully Under Authority” – Early Childhood
There is a process of development within your child. They are developing physically, socially, intellectually, and spiritually.
He is learning how to work with the people in his world, how to be cute, coy, demanding, manipulative, how to interect with the different parents he has. High fives dad, rubs noses with moms.
They are learning how the world works. Child proof locks don’t always work. They are acquiring language.
They are also developing spiritually. They are creatures of God, a God who is holy, He has given His Son for me. He is also learning to bow before idols. There is probably not another period in life where he is developing so radically. Tremendous development in the first five years. There is incredible potential here, tremendous potential, designed for glory.

How do you focus? There is a single overarching thought: sturdy enough to meet the needs of this child. The primary objective is teaching the child to live under authority. God has made the world designed with authority structures. It is foundational for human beings. In the home, workplace, the state, the govt, the church. It is liberating for a human being to learn this.
Ephesians 6:1-3
The boundary of the blessing circle (which kids are to live) is to honor and obey. Two blessings are go well and long life. You want this for your child. What does God’s word say, and what does this mean for you? You are to obey it.

Children are in direct command here. This isn’t even to parents to instruct their children. The Apostle Paul is talking to children. Most children though aren’t going to pick up the Bible on their own. Parents: it is your job to train up your children.

Teaching your child this verse is a training process with your children. You are constantly bringing them this truth of authority, blessing, and obedience. That is how training takes place. You are refreshing them with this truth.

Presentation is incredibly important. We want to be winsome in how we present this truth to our children. “My roof, my table, you must obey me.” If you do it this way, you are planting seeds of rebellion. This presents a head to head conflict. We have invited rebellion. We need to present this as God-centered not man-centered. He has made all things for His glory. He has told us how to live for our good and His glory. You can trust God to work through Mom and Dad. It is rooted in God’s authority.
A lot of young people have a misunderstanding of authority. We don’t see it has beneficial, we see it as destructive and annoying. Parents try to avoid being authoritative. They try to bribe, plead, and make their children obey. Parents themselves are uncomfortable with authority in their own lives. Parents give away their authority millions of times. Cereal choices. Sporting choices. Piano lessons. 5 year olds don’t think that oatmeal and octave scales are good for them. They need to know gracious ways to respond to wisdom. This is where parenting comes in. Authority. Under the age of 5, you need to teach them they are under authority, not that they are independent decision makers.
Gracious authority is a blessing to them. Those children lack wisdom, maturity, and life experience. It is a blessing to live under this authority.

Obey = Submission to God’s authority that causes a child to do what he is told by the parents immediately, without excuse, without complaint, and without question. There doesn’t need to be any discussion or pleading. There doesn’t need to be any screaming. There doesn’t need to be any counting, threatening, or raised blood pressures. You train them to obey, to submit to authority. Teach them to submit to God’s authority.

Honor = submission to God’s authority that causes a child to speak to his parents with respect for their role as God’s agent of nurture, direction and discipline. Kids do not need to speak to their parents as though they were peers. Parents are set up as authoritative figures. Children cannot give their parents orders.

Go Well = The spiritual blessings that come to a child as he lives under God’s authority: along with the natural blessings that come as the adults in his world recognized that he is obedient and trustworthy. Spiritually and practically.

Long Life = the blessings of prosperity and protection, richness and fullness of life that God provides for the child that lives under His structures of authority.

What God has done in this passage is marvelous. He has drawn a circle of blessing. You want these for your kids, kids want them for themselves. Teach your kids the Importance of living inside the circle. Inside there is peace and blessing. Outside the circle is danger.

Discipline: a rescue mission aimed at returning the child to the circle of blessing. The function of discipline is not punitive, but corrective. Its goal is positive, not negative. We aren’t to discipline out of revenge, or hatred, or anger, or punitive. It is restorative, it is loving.
Hebrews 12.5 – my sons, don’t despise the Lord’s correction, He disciplines those whom He loves. God brings us the reproof of life. The ultimate goal is holiness as God is holy.
Physical discipline of children. This is not a popular idea. Verses: Proverbs 13:24, 19:18, 22:15, 23:13-14, 29:15, 17. The Bible is not unclear about spanking children; it is just an unpopular thing to do in our culture. The warning of Colossians 2:8-9 must be taken seriously. Captives are wartime – we are not to be taken captive by human traditions and the ways of the world: hollow and deceptive. Like chocolate bunny’s for Easter. These are hollow and deceptive. There is no chocolate in it. There is a lot of wax in the chocolate.
Spanking is not fashionable. Ideas go in and out of style. God’s word calls us to discipline our children. We are usually more influenced by the philosophical fashion trends of the world than we are to the precious word of God. The world’s voices will subtly tell you how to think about these important truths. How will you guard your mind and heart and actions. The trajectory of the world is moving away from God’s Word. God’s Word is clear on this matter (see verses above). “I love my kids too much to spank them” is not a VALID statement. This is anti-biblical. The real truth is you love yourself too much to spank your child. And that is SIN. Your child is on a pathway to destruction, eternal destruction. Your role as parent is to discipline them in a way that leads them to Christ. The gospel. If you don’t discipline your child, you will have no peace. Folly, the living as there is no authority, will bring no peace in your home. Rescue comes from the Word of God. The necessity of meeting your child’s defiance by the discipline that parent’s should lovingly use to steer their children to Christ.
The How of Spanking (Hebrews 12:11)
1.Take your child to a private place.
2.Tell him specifically what he has done or failed to do. Don’t give a general end of the day spanking. There will no benefit of that.
3.Secure an acknowledgment.
4.Remind him that your objective is restoration to the circle of blessing.
5.Tell him how many swats he will receive.
6.Remove his drawers (that’s underwear for those of you raised in the south, or britches)
7.Restoration: tell him how much you love him
8.Pray with him. Impress on him the mark of Christ, the gospel.