28 Jan 2013

Prayers for Our Children

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This past week I did a lot of driving as I was back and forth the length of I-4 in Florida.  This provided me time to listen to Z88.  I was listening to a Mark Schultz song and after sobbing, swo=iping tears, trying not to wreck due to my blurred vision through tears, I prayed aloud these three things for my son who was in the back seat.

1.  I want him to know and love God.

As I read, pray through, and study Psalm 119 this year, I am seeing a lot of cohesiveness between knowing the truths of God and trusting them and being blessed by them.  In John’s gospel, Jesus says that His sheep know His voice and elsewhere in Scripture God says that if we love God we will obey His commands (and we have to know them to obey them).  I don’t really knnnowhich comes first: the knowing or the loving.  Either way, we would not seek to know this love or know the Lover if the Lover had not first loved us.  All of this life and a relationship with Him is because of grace.  We know HIm because He has revealed Himself to us (Psalm 19, Gen 1, Rom 1, Rom 8).  We love Him because He first loved us (1 John 1)  We, as sinners, do not freely choose to love.  But, I pray, that God in His foreknowledge, has predestined my Son to be His (Eph 1).  Mister and I will raise our son (and any future children we might have if  the Lord wills) in light of this (Prov 22.6, Deut 6).  But, in the grand scheme of things, God has made the decision and knows if our son is one of His.  We will see in time if Little Mister desires the things of God and runs hard after Jesus – knowing and loving Him.

2.  I want him to love and be loved.

I want Little Buddy to know what it means to be loved and to love deeply.  Is there pain in doing that?  Yes!  But you see and experience the world in a much brighter and better way  when you know you are loved unconditionally and you are able to love to your fullest measure with one person.  Do I know if it is in God’s plans for the LB to be married one day and have children of his own?  No.  But, again, we trust in God’s perfect plan and we will strive to raise him in such a manner that he will make a great husband and father one day.  And if he is never married, then those traits will be good of a man of God!

3.  I want him to see and change the world!

One of the bestEST aspects of my time being single (the other one is discipling many girls and living life with them) was the fact that I got to travel a TON!  I was usually travling on my day off, weekends, or weeks or mission trips.  I loved the freedom God allowed me so much time being single so I could see more of the world  He created.  That is one thing that the Mister and I love doing together – traveling.  It started in our courtship and continued to our honeymoon (a two week, two country road trip) and continues now.  I want LB to love to be in the car, plane, or train or boat or rikshaw or what have you! I want him to see God’s beauty in the Rockies or in Alaska or in Thailand or in Mexico or in NYC or in PEI or in China or in South America or in South Africa.  I want him to know the beauty of sunsets and sunrices on every continent and in many different time zones.  I want him to see the waves from every ocean that is on the face of the earth.  I want him to go in search of wonder and explore all that God has created.  I want him to go and learn to love cultures of every kind and see the beauty and diversity that God has filled this earth – and that seeing those sites would cause him to yearn for heaven.  I want him to desire the nations for the glory of God.

What are your prayers for your children?

30 Oct 2012

31Days: New Tiredness (30)

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I think this whole sleep deprivation thing is setting in.  To both of us!

Sweet Buddy has been kind enough and sacrificial enough to take the morning shift – that oh dark thirty hour before anyone really should be awake.  He usually gets up with little buddy about 5 and lets me sleep until he goes to work.  So Kind!

People tell you to take naps when the baby does – but I generally can’t do that.  If I took naps everytime he did we wouldn’t: have dinner EVER unless it was take out, never have clean laundry or dishes or a bathroom, etc.  I would never get any writing done (because I like calmness to write – not a screaming 6 week old).  I wouldn’t have any time with my Buddy – and my relationship with him comes first.  We stay up watching a show or reading Scripture or just talking about our days.

Marriage is more important than naps!

And I’ll catch up on sleep – maybe I can ask that for a birthday present.

And, btw, I love watching my little boy sleep!

26 Oct 2012

31Days: New Vocabulary (26)

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My vocabulary has definitely changed since having a baby.  I used to always talk about blogs, networking, theology, family ministry, curriculum, marriage, etc.

Now, these are my latest phrases:

“I’m giving you some Mommy slobber” – when I’m going to kiss little e

“He pooped 4 times today” – talking to E about our day

“Hey sweet boy” – when I pick him up out of the rocker sleeper

“It’s time to change you…again?”

“Sssshhhhhhhhh…” – all the time when I’m trying to get him to sleep.  I’ve even done this to my husband in my sleep!

 

22 Sep 2012

Yawns, Tubes, and Squishy Cheeks: Lessons in Motherhood #1

by | posted in: mothering, parenting, Uncategorized | 4

I will write a post all about the birth of our firstborn son, Elijah Levring, and thoughts about his name and what he has meant to us so far, but that will come soon.  Right now, I want to think through some early lessons I have learned in motherhood:

1.  I am not in control.  No matter what I tried to bring on contractions (and believe me, we tried almost everything), we delivered at 40.6 wks.  That was really long.  I think I had been done for at least 4 weeks.  But, God knew when I was done and I kept telling myself that He would not give me anything which I could not handle with Him.  Then I couldn’t control the tub I had.  The nurse filled it so full that when I got in, we had about 4 inches on the bathroom floor.  It was like a tidal wave of water.  I can’t control the weight I lose (or don’t lose).  Elijah was 9.06 lbs and I lost just that much and now have gained some back – maybe I should just stay off the scale.  My husband would love that!  I can’t control the lights on Duke Street.  Since we are having to make trips to Duke UMC every day we travel Duke Street a lot – and we always hit the lights.  I can’t control his platelet levels (which is why he is in ICN).

2.  Prayer is my heart language at 2am.  Who else is up with me?  A friend gave me Psalm 121 and that is so true.  I pray when I am holding him tight and he has all the cords hooked to him.  I pray as I’m singing to him.  I pray as I’m writing in his journal about what kind of man I want him to grow to be.  E and I pray as we are going to bed, clearly exhausted, and just sometimes mumbling our prayers – thankful that our God hears even when we don’t make sense due to exhaustion and sleep-deprivation!

3.  I need to extend myself grace.  I started crying this morning when the only shirt that fit that would also be good for breastfeeding was a maternity shirt.  I was upset at myself when I turned off the alarm at 2am which I had set so I could pump him some milk.  i just rolled over and finally got up at 6am.  I was frustrated this morning when Eli wouldn’t eat very well, but ate like a champ yesterday.  I needed to extend myself grace when I finally gave in to stadol and an epidural 7 cm into delivery.  I need to extend myself grace!  My husband extends me much of it, but I need to as well.

Thankful for all these lessons I am learning.

13 Sep 2012

Book Review: Boyhood and Beyond

by | posted in: Books, mothering, parenting | 0

The day this post goes live will be my first son’s due date.  As most of you Moms know out there in blogland – due dates rarely mean anything.  I think it is a ploy for women to get all worked up and having something to plan for – then it comes and goes with little fanfare.  But, we shall see.

As soon as I found out we we were having a boy, I wanted to start praying specifically for him to be a man after God’s own heart.  I already was praying for his daddy that he would continue to press in and love Jesus – and that is what I want our son to model as well.

The first book I was recommended has been a wonderful tool for me to use to know things to pray for Baby about: Boyhood and Beyond by Bob Schults.  This is actually a book written for boys, probably between the age of 10-12.  And that means it was great for this pregnant mom and her attention span.  Short chapters, not difficult theology, and very practical.

Covering such topics as: wisdom, letter writing, loving your sister, obedience, serving, working hard, preparing for a wife and children and a myriad of other topics, Bob writes courageously for young boys but not treating them as kids – treating them as young men.

I want to train my son early to be man after God’s own heart.  Yes, there is plenty of time to have fun, play games, etc – but I want to raise him to be a man.  Teach him the characteristics of what a man should be: gentle, kind, humble, meek, protector, provider, and leader – whether it is in the classroom, at home, or on the baseball field.

“God creates boy to become men.” – pg 40

I didn’t mark a lot in this book, because I will probably be praying it again for him and then giving it to Baby when he is old enough to read it and learn from its wisdom. 

What do you or how are you praying for your children?

23 Jul 2012

The Inward War of Waiting

by | posted in: mothering | 2

 

(This was my journal article selected for publication in the Journal of Family Ministry Spring/Summer 2012 published by The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary). 

Note: I was given this topic to write in early December 2011.  It was on the period between marriage and motherhood.  Little did I know that the very next month I would find out I was pregnant.  Maybe that will give you some insight into this journal article.)

There is a war constantly raging inside us. Paul shares this truth with the believers in Rome (1), and I share the same truth with you, from my experience of being a new wife living in the waiting period before motherhood. The two opponents in this war are anxiety and rest. Both of them contended within me even before I got married. I remember from the time I was a teenager pondering over the questions: Will I find “Mr. Right”? What will my dress look like? Where will I go on my honeymoon? 

Once I did get married, long after I started asking these questions, similar questions continued in their persistence: Will we have children? When will we have children? Is our house or my husband’s salary big enough to sustain our lifestyle with children? What if we have trouble conceiving? Will we be infertile?

One might think these questions would stop as I prepare to enter motherhood, but they do not: Will I carry my baby to term? Will the baby be healthy? What are we going to name the baby? Will he or she ever come to know Christ? These questions constantly repeat themselves.   

God, however, has provided the answer to all these questions: rest. The importance of rest is taught throughout Scripture, starting in Genesis when God rested after completing his creation work (21-3)  The psalmist says to be still and know that He is God.   Our rest is rooted in God’s care for us and his sovereign control over our lives.  The command “do not fear” occurs frequently in the Bible (e.g., Gen 15:1; Num 14:9; Deut 1:21; Mat 10:31; 1 Pet 3:14; Rev 2:10).  Paul exhorts the Philippian believers to rest in the peace of Christ and do not be anxious about anything. The circumstances we find ourselves in do not need to control us.  God has bought rest and comfort for us by sending his Son Christ to pay our full penalty. If he died and rose again, then he also can take care of every situation we face on any given day. We rest by letting God be in control.  The following are a few of the Scriptures that are most helpful to me when I cry to my husband and share with him these questions:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God.  And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

“For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor.” “Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and God our Father, who loved us, and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.”

The 16th Century Heidelberg Catechism begins with a word that is applicable to this struggle between anxiety and rest:

Q1: What is your only comfort in life and in death? A: That I am not my own, but belong – body and soul, in life and in death – to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for all my sins with His precious blood, and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil.  He also watches over me in such a way that not a hair can fall from my head without the will of my Father in heaven: in fact, all things must work together for my salvation.  Because I belong to Him, Christ, by His Holy Spirit, assures me of eternal life and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready from now on to live for Him. (2)

When my husband shared that with me, I initially mocked him saying, “And that’s supposed to help?” However, I have found that these truths not only apply when facing motherhood and the potential anxieties that accompany it, but they also can stand up against any anxiety we may have. When I know I am prone to anxiety, I can trust the Scripture will assure me that my comfort comes from Christ.  When I wonder if I’ll be a good mother, the Spirit residing in me gives me strength to rest.  When I fear that the baby I carry will die or be unhealthy, I think to this catechism and know that all things work together for my salvation.  I knew then that these were the truths that I need to always cling to in moments of anxiety – to trust the Lord, and witness His victory in my rest.  

1 See Galatians 5:1-25 for Paul’s discussion of the inner battle between flesh and spirit.

2 Kevin DeYoung, The Good News We Almost Forgot: Rediscovering the Gospel in a 16th Century Catechism (Chicago: Moody, 2010), 20.
 
17 Jul 2012

Family Multiplication: Mielke Family at Grand Floridian

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This sweet friend and I are just days apart in our delivery due dates.  We used to live in the same apartments in Louisville and enjoyed a sweet friendship.  So excited they now live in my home state and are about to bring much joy to their family by adding one little member.  Here are some photos from our day at the Grand Floridian at Walt Disney World.  Many blessings, Sarah and Chuck!

 

 

20 Jun 2012

Third Trimester Update

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Greetings from pregnancy land!

As I entered the third trimester last week, I am now on the countdown.  I can’t wait to meet this little guy.  No, I’ve not started dreaming what he looks like or anything, but I do hope he has my husband’s dimples.  I had no hair for a couple of years and my husband had blond.  So, oh, and his blue eyes would definitely be a great asset!

The next few months hold much for us: some trips to FL, some weddings, showers, writing, conferences, meeting with friends.  When will I ever find time to organize the nursery?  Really – the kid needs diapers.  Those don’t need organizing!

I took my glucose one-hour test today – anxious about it as I woke up, drank the pop like a champion, and now I wait.  To be honest, I’m not really good at waiting.

There are many decisions that we still have to make as a couple and we know that God is gracious and gives wisdom when we ask – so believe me, we are asking!

I now am feeling more pregnant, but BIG too.  I know, I know – don’t worry about the weight.  I’m not worried about it – just know that it is there. 

It is getting hot in NC.  It has been cool and I take that as “and God gives more grace” and why am I greatly anticipating being in FL in the middle of the summer?  Who knows?  Just am very thankful for A/C!

My husband has been a real trooper.  He helps with the dishes (yes, our dishwasher is still not functioning), he loves me unconditionally, prays for me about many things big and small, and is also eagerly awaiting our son’s arrival.

Baby Campbell will be here soon.  Hopefully the next pregnancy update will be when our little boy bundle arrives!

18 Jun 2012

That’s My Job

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Conway Twitty.  I remember riding in the car blaring 97 Country or sitting in our trailer on the Suwannee listening to him.  His voice is unmistakable.  One of my favorite songs by him is “That’s My Job” about a dad to a son.  I woke up singing it this morning and then as I was quoting it to the hubs this morning over breakfast, tears flowed.  I knew what the post would be today.

I woke up cryin’ late at night when I was very young
I had dreamed my father had passed away and gone
my world revolved around him I couldn’t lie there anymore
so I made my way down the mirrored hall and tapped upon his door
And I said Daddy I’m so afraid how will I go on with you gone that way
Don’t wanna cry anymore so may I stay with you and he said

Chorus:
That’s my job
that’s what I do
everything I do is because of you to keep you safe with me
that’s my job you see

Later we barely got along this teenage boy and he
most of the fights it seems were over different dreams we each held for me
he wanted knowledge and learning
I wanted to fly out west
said I could make it out there if I just had the fare
I got half will you loan me the rest
and I said Daddy I’m so afraid there’s no guarentee in the plans I’ve made
and if I should fail who will pay my way back home
and he said

::CHORUS::

Every person carves his spot and fills the hole with light
and I pray some day I might light as bright as he

I woke up early one bright fall day to spread the tragic news
after all my travels I settled down within a mile or two
I make my living with words and rhyme and all this tragedy
should go into my head and out instead as bits of poetry
but I say Daddy I’m so afraid how will I go on with you gone this way
how can I come up with a song to say I love you

That’s my job
that’s what I do
everything I do is because of you to keep you safe with me
that’s my job you see

My friend, Lara, posted a convicting blog the other day about our job as parents.  So, that is where I want to take this post:

The Bible has much to say about what our jobs are as parents.  As E and I have both celebrated our first “Day” now and we get closer and closer to the birth of our son, we are only beginning to realize the burden and responsibility (and joy) that it is to raise a son in light of the Gospel.

Here are some Scriptures that remind us of what our job is as parents:

Colossians 3:21

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Psalm 78:1-11

Proverbs 22:6

Of course, these are just some of the MANY that tells us what we are to do with our children, for our children.  But, no where in the Bible does God, our Father, tell us to SAVE our children.  We cannot.  The job of our child’s salvation is not ours.  The role of salvation in our children is directed by the Holy Spirit.  When we get overwhelmed with the responsibility of making sure our children follow Christ one day, all we can do is:

Pray.  Lead.  Guide.  Teach.  Train. 

Let’s obey what God has told us to do and leave the worrying, fretting, and salvation regeneration to the only One who is able to do so.

5 Jun 2012

Culture, Family Worship, and Legalism

by | posted in: Bible, mothering, Worship | 0

The following quote is taken from the 1689 London Baptist Confession:

And verily there is one spring and cause of the decay of religion in our day which we cannot but touch upon and earnestly urge a redress of, and that is the neglect of the worship of God in families by those to whom the charge and conduct of them is committed. May not the gross ignorance and instability of many, with the profaneness of others, be justly charged upon their parents and masters, who have not trained them up in the way wherein they ought to walk when they were young, but have neglected those frequent and solemn commands which the Lord hath laid upon them, so to catechise and instruct them that their tender years might be seasoned with the knowledge of the truth of God as revealed in the Scriptures; and also by their own omission of prayer and other duties of religion of their families, together with the ill example of their loose conversation, having, inured them first to a neglect and the contempt of all piety and religion? We know this will not excuse the blindness and wickedness of any, but certainly it will fall heavy upon those that have been thus the occasion thereof; they indeed die in their sins, but will not their blood be required of those under whose care they were, who yet permitted them to go on without warning – yea, led them into the paths of destruction? And will not the diligence of Christians with respect to the discharge of these duties in ages past rise up in judgment against and condemn many of those who would be esteemed such now?

Breakdown of the family unit in today’s society is something that not only Christians and churches worry about, but for many reasons politicians and sociologists are concerned with it as well.  However, this isn’t just a problem that plagues our society today.  It is a problem that for over 300 years church leaders have seen as something that needs to be addressed.
I live in a part of town that is known for some crime and general “lolly gagging” by people of all ages.  This part of town is also known for single-parent homes or absent parents altogether.  Latch key syndrome.  Yes, this is definitely a problem and the breakdown of the family has been at least one cause, if not the leading cause, of the rise in crime among teenagers/college students. The trend continues.
I think another danger that we have to be careful of is a type of legalism.  I was watching a video the other day that showed four youth getting baptized.  All of them said something like this: “My parents raised me in a Christian home and we read the Bible, did Christian things, etc.  But, it wasn’t until later that I accepted Christ.”
The Psalms and Proverbs talk much about delighting in the Word, meditating on the Word, etc.  Deuteronomy 6 tells fathers to talk about the Word every chance you get – teaching it to your children.  It is something we are commanded to do as parents.  It is our main responsibility.  But, we are parents cannot assume that our church going and Bible reading is going to save our children.
1.  Shepherd your children.  By leading home worship you are doing this very thing.  Home Worship doesn’t need to be long and complex.  Some ways my husband and I started doing it when we were engaged were praying together at night and reading a Bible verse at meal times.  We look forward to continuing and building upon that when Baby Campbell arrives.  If you have someone who can sing or play an instrument (or a YouTube video), incorporate singing into your home worship routine.  Make sure the Word and the Gospel are intrigal parts of your time together and that you do it.  It doesn’t have to be done every day, but some sort of schedule will help you keep doing it – habit, right?
2.  Home Worship can’t save your children.  In Elyse Fitzpatrick’s book Give Them Grace, she talks about rule following that would lead your children to be better Pharisees (in a negative light) than Christ-followers.  The heart of your children need to be changed by a gracious God.  We can’t save our children by doing more and better home worship, or demanding their obedience, or regulating their wardrobe, iPod playlist, or friends.  We can give them the Word and pray for their salvation, showing them much grace and forgiveness as they are coming up in our homes.
Grace and discipline.  The two go together in this thinking of home worship.  We need to have discipline to do home worship with family members and show the Word of God as a permanent and prominent fixture in our home.  One of the ways we are doing that as we prepare for Baby Campbell’s arrival is by adorning the nursery walls with Scripture.  We also must rely on grace.  We can’t possibly adhere to the true gospel and think that by us doing family worship, even every night of the week, will gain us (or our children) an audience and relationship with God – we can’t have that apart from Christ.  The Gospel is D-O-N-E not D-O.
“As the years go by, more and more we realize that if our children turn out right, it is only because of amazing grace.” – Joel Beeke, Parenting by God’s Promises