1 Mar 2011

Thoughts from a Funeral

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I lift up my eyes to the hills.  From where does my help come?  My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.  He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.  Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.  The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade on your right hand.  The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.  The LORD will keep you from all evil;  he will keep your life.  The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore.
Psalm 121 – ESV

 

I’ll start it off with a lighthearted one:  I’m glad I didn’t put on any mascara this morning.  I don’t wear waterproof, so it would have not been pretty.

Curtis Crutchfield was a man, 65 years of life, husband, dad, grandfather, friend.  One of my favorite memories with Curtis was traveling halfway around the world to Thailand to serve missionaries there.  Loved seeing how he just loved on those m-kids, prayed incessantly while we were there.  Also, I knew every morning, and sometimes many times during the day, I would get an email from “Putterbud” which was his email address – sending out prayer requests from those at The Summit Church.  While I was at that church for 3.5 years, and even after I moved from Durham to Louisville, and now back to Raleigh, I knew I could send him prayer requests and he would be praying.  As I look back over the emails I have sent him over the years: he has prayed for the salvation of my friends and family, churches I attended in Louisville, a professor at SBTS that I worked for during my time there, he prayed that I would move back to this area (because I asked him to), he prayed for my Mom when she was having medical tests done, he prayed for my brother while he was in Africa with malaria.  I only may know personally of one other person in my life who prays as much or as diligently as Curtis did.  Curtis: Thank you.

I told a friend on the phone after the service that I wish I had been able to live blog it because you would have gotten so many more thoughts (maybe you are glad I didn’t): but I just want to share some with you.

1.  If I die before these three people: make sure the first two play/sing at my funeral and the third one gives the sermon: Chris and Michelle Gaynor and Danny Franks. 

2.  I love the humility and service of Brad and Danny and Chris.  Even in little ways today, I saw these three men of God humbly serving and loving.  Exactly who they are – for the glory of Christ.

3.  A Shadow of a Greater Reality.  This is what Curtis was.  Since he was saved by the grace of God through the cross of Jesus – he lived humbly and faithful and boldly to proclaim His Great God.  That was so clearly evident in this service today: not focusing on a good man (which Curtis is probably the best 65 year old I know), but a good man’s Great God.

4.  “And the joy we share as we tarry there.” – This line stood out to me for a couple of reasons: 1.  I want to know that deep seeded daily joy.  Things in my life have to change.  As a dear sweet friend said to me after the service: “You are going to slow down one of these days.”  My response to her: maybe I will, maybe I will.  Thank you BD for that word of exhortation.  2.  I want my life of tarry here on this earth to be full of joy.  I want to surround my life with things and people that make me smile.  I don’t want to fill my hours with meaningless things.  John 10:10.

5.  The Psalm on the inside of the program was Psalm 121 (read above).  Turned out this was the last daily devotion that Curtis had.  What a glorious truth – not even knowing that this would be the last thing he read in Scripture – but just a stunning portrait of the the beautiful faithfulness of the Word of God in that man’s life.

6.  Always at funerals it makes you stop and think about what is important in life.  And, yes, I thought about some of those things too.  There are only 2 things that I really still want to do in life: praying that God in his goodness would supply in His perfect timing.  For me not to live discontented – but faithful.

7.  The last song that Michelle sang by herself was “It Is Well” – hands down my favorite “old-school” hymn that there is.  “oh the bliss of this glorious thought, my sin not in part but the whole, was nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more, praise the Lord, praise the Lord, oh my soul!”  And Curtis didn’t get to experience the trump resounding and the Lord descending…but instead, he closed his eyes here on earth (at his grandson’s bball practice) and opened them to see the Great High Priest welcoming him home.

8.  I thought I was done crying, but no.  The pall bearers carried Curtis out and following him was the family: Miss Kathy and Andy and the rest.  Thinking that pretty soon, they would lay Curtis in the ground, and even though Miss Kathy had said her goodbyes, and tears would continue, and rejoicing was happening in their hearts because of the glorious truth of the Gospel: I couldn’t even imagine the pain that she was experiencing that the man she had cherished all these years was not coming back.  He wasn’t on a mission trip, he wasn’t out playing golf, he wasn’t up at Cole Mill Road setting up for a service: no.  He was gone.  And while she will see him again because of their mutual faith in the Gospel – she will live the remainder of her days here on earth by herself, without the love of her life.  And I saw many couples in the church today: I’m reminded of the beauty and grace of marriage.  Not ones that I’ve read in books or theology of marriage, but the glorious truth, patience, hard-work, grace-abounding, marriage. 

9.  Curtis was also one of the most humble men I knew.  He was quiet, meek, a servant, not caring what the task was, he served joyfully.  I got to serve on the First Impressions team with him while I was at the Summit.  I remember the many Sunday lunches in the Riverside High School cafeteria.  He had much more a servant’s heart than I did.  He never wanted to be recognized for anything, he would point all the praise to Jesus anyway.  May I seek that humility and servant’s heart and meekness, that the qualities of my life would also point others to Jesus.  Thank  you Curtis for loving Jesus – because He first loved you.

I could probably think of many more thoughts that ran through my mind during the hour long service, but I’ll leave you with this.  My first tears shed well before the service started as I read this verse on the back of the program:

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.

2 Timothy 4:7-8

Curtis: I look forward to seeing you worshipping your Great God when I get there.  Then I can join you again in worshipping our Jesus!

28 Feb 2011

March Adventures

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Well, keeping with tradition, we are at the beginning of another month – and this one will be exciting!

1.  Housesitting.  I love to housesit.  It is like a mini-vacation for me.  I love to have a place to myself, peace and quiet, good writing, thinking, vegging time.  I love to be a blessing to others.  I also love the place I’m housesitting: Durham.

2.  It is Spring (hopefully will stay that way), so you can expect more photogs – especially around different gardens, campuses, and water.

3.  Speaking at a women’s conference for this woman’s church.  We are having it in Gatlinburg.  I also get to see a great friend and her bfriend – which I’m very excited about.

5.  Hopefully launching a BIG project.

6.  Charlotte-bound.  Such a cool city.  Looking forward to conversation w a delightful friend, writing, photog, and food.

7.  Preparing for the Tarheel 10 miler.

8.  Pressing in to the Gospel – and loving the life He has afforded me!

28 Feb 2011

Much and Link Love: Feb 28 edition

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Here we are – two months down in 2011.  This has been a fabulous month, a hard month, all in one.  I’m glad its over – I’m excited about the future.

1.  I need the Psalms.  Of course I need the rest of Scripture too, but the Psalms have been close to me this week.

2.  I get to housesit in Durham this week – very excited about spending consecutive days in Durham, in a quiet house with 2 kitties, and a huge kitchen – I feel like I must cook!

3.  Less than 3 months till Alaska – so excited.

4.  A friend passed away on Thursday.  Thankfully, it was quick – he didn’t suffer.  He taught me much about faithfulness, intercessory prayer, and submission to authority.

5.  Fave songs right now: Come Awak (Matt Maher), patiently awaiting Stuart Townend’s new CD, ZBB (need someone to come with me with W-S for a concert on April 6 – I’ve learned not to go to country concerts by myself), Who Are You When I’m Not Looking (Blake Shelton – who will also be in concert with Easton, any takers), Hello World (Lady A – saw this video over the wknd, good stuff), Little Miss (Sugarland), and Crazy Girl (Eli Young Band – though I like the song better than the video).

6.  So excited Colin Firth won Best Actor – he deserved it for his role in The King’s Speech – HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!  Would so see it again!

Link Love

1.  I may put this on my kindle for the Alaska trip: and this too

2.  Love. Brian Regan.

3.  My friend and mentor Danny posted on our mutual friend’s passing.  Love Curtis’ legacy: 

4.  Can I eat a big bowl of these?  Need to pick up some fresh sugar snap peas!

5.  Rob Bell – this week – WOW.  Big news.  Wonder what all those people who love Nooma videos and Velvit Elvis think about him now.  Justin recvd many comments on this post…

6.  Maybe I’ll make these while in Durham – any Durham pancake lovers out there?

7.  Wish Victor Hugo knew Jesus – especially since Les Mis is such an incredible story of grace.

8.  This post made me laugh aloud.  I know people like this.  I don’t really want to be this person though.

9.  Love Andrew Peterson – this is a great song for parents. 

10.  Good thoughts on your attitude in conversations and life.

25 Feb 2011

Leadership Lesson – Josh Moody

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“What we do tends to be what people follow, and if what we do doesn’t go in step with what we believe, likely as not people will follow what we do rather than what we say we believe.  That’s why you get so many Christian who look like their pastors and sound like their pastors; they are little clones of their leader.  From their mannerisms, you can spot who their leader is if you are familiar with the leader.  so, if you are a leader, you need to watch out for this.”

 Josh Moody, No Other Gospel, pg 97

Examples:

1.  I knew of a dude in seminary that owned everything that he was aware of that was ever recorded that featured Paige Patterson.

2.  I know of a guy who sounds like David Platt when he prays.

3.  The first time I heard a local pastor preach, I could tell he had lived in John Piper’s basement because his demeanor and hand motions.

4.  There are guys I serve with who have the same hand motions of one of the guys who has been on staff a long time.

5. I was at a Bstudy the other night and when the pastor asked an asst pastor what he thought of a passage, it was exactly what he would have thought.

6.  The name of the curriculum we are working on is called Treasuring Christ – our pastor pretty much got that from a prof in England because he always says it.

I wouldn’t say any of these are bad things; but you can see where the danger would come.  What happens if you behave in such a way that is not painting an accurate picture of Christ’s heart or is not becoming of someone who would claim Christ?  What about people who believe the theology you hold to – and that theology doesn’t line up to the Authority of Scripture?

Josh offers a great leadership principle.  How do you lead with humility knowing that others are watching you and following your example?

23 Feb 2011

Wednesday Words: Be Still My Soul

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With all of the great tunes that we sang Sunday @pray dot org, I was going to choose one of those to highlight this week.  However, my Mom commented on a facebook status of mine with something their church sang this past week and I needed those words to hurry to my soul so I chose “Be Still My Soul.”

One of my versions of this hymn is by Selah and you can watch/listen here but a newer version of this song is here by Keith and Kristyn Getty back in 2009.

For the purposes of this post, I’m sticking with the 1700s version:

 Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul, though dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in the vale of tears;
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.
Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repay
From His own fulness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

21 Feb 2011

Much & Link Love – Feb 21 Edition

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1.  I need sound sleep.

2.  Held together like a pair of bookends – one of my fave lines right now in a song.

3.  What are my other favorite songs right now: Little Miss (Sugarland), Who Are You When I’m Not Looking (Blake Shelton), I Wouldn’t Be a Man (Josh Turner), Made for Colder Weather (ZBB), Hello World (Lady A), I Can’t Love You Back (Easton Corbin).

4.  Another way I handle stress is that I don’t eat as much usually because I don’t feel great – this might help me make some weight-loss goals. 

5.  I love the leadership at my church.  They are a grace to me.

6.  Just received an iTunes and SBux giftcard in the mail – that’s definitely a great way to start a Monday.

7.  Big news comes March 1.

8.  Everybody’s experience is different.  We can’t let media or other’s experiences dictate ours – we can only stand on Truth of God’s Word.

Link Love

Since I didn’t give you many last week because I did my Valentine’s Post, I owe you some good ones.

1.  I do like Andrew Peterson, and I do like this song, but I don’t think I’ll play it at my wedding…just a thought.

2.  Definitely want to serve this at a brunch if I have one in the near future – perfect for spring or summer.

3.  My friend, Courtney, hits on a topic all of us need to hear!

4.  Very much looking forward to this new Gospel Coalition project.

5.  I want to make this – maybe with sweet potatoes.  Need to go buy some brussel sprouts

6.  So thankful for being a part of a church where this issue isn’t a problem for corporate worship, but I know it is a needed discussion!

7.  I’m one of these, but I like how Macheesmo handles the criticism.  I try not to annoy folks with my camera!

8.  Vicki Courtney hits on a HUGE topic…one that is needed.  I see a lot of girls go by in the kids area where I serve who are dressed just like adult women just in small sized (heels, halter tops, latest fashions, etc).  Be wise.

9.  If anyone knows me at all – they will know my fave store bought cookie is the OREO!  Here is an amazing cookie I need to make.

Those 9 should hold you over till next week! 🙂

17 Feb 2011

Thursday Thoughts: Christ-like Hospitality

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Yesterday in our ed-staff meeting, one of the pastors at my church brought up the fact that one of the times the NT uses the word example is when Christ shows the example to the disciples of service: wraps a towel and washes their feet.  The display of service, grace, unmerited reward, purity.

I started thinking about how I use my home for hospitality.  I can make all the excuses I want: time, small apt, shared apt, you name it – but hospitality is still a command that we need to follow.  This isn’t going to be a blog post on the hospitality commands or all the verses that talk about it – but more the practical and attitude of showing hospitality in your home.

1.  It is not about cooking fancy foods.  I remember having a couple in my home back after Christmas.  I shared with my brother while I was home that I was nervous about what to cook for them because she is a personal chef and he is just a great cook.  He said they would probably just like a normal meal.  Well, God helped me figure out what to cook for them by causing snow to fall so I arrived home just an hour or two before their arrival.  I picked up a rotisserie chicken from HT, baked some sweet potatoes, roasted some green beans and mushrooms (love) and then created a little semi-homemade trifle dessert.  Simple, yet yummy.  But, I was still worried about what they thought.  Good thing they enjoyed it.

2.  It is not about impressing your guests.  I am the type with most people that I want to vacuum before they come over, make sure everything is in its place, etc.  But, I know the guests that I love because when they come over I don’t worry about if they see that my house is lived in.  I always need to be a good steward of what God has given me and not be lazy about picking up my home – but I do not need to bring out the dust rag and Pledge 30 minutes before you walk in my front door.  We need to be always ready to have anyone come in our home.  I know what a blessing it is for me to walk into a home of families I love and there are toys scattered everywhere, dishes in the sink, maybe things aren’t perfect – but neither is the guest!

3.  It is about showing grace.  It is always an opportunity to share with your guests the grace of God.  God has been so kind to me that I need to pass on those gifts and that grace to others.

3.  It is about comfort.  I want my apt to be a place of comfort for others now.  But, I think more importantly, I want that in my home one day – maybe as a family – maybe as a single – I want to have my home be a place of comfort, life, and ease.  I want people to come and be able to “make themselves at home” and come and go as they please.  I want my friends to have a home away from home, a retreat.  I have wonderful friends who have modeled that for me through the years, and I pray that I can be a blessing to others in the same way.  I was just mentioning to someone last night that I don’t want people in my home all the time, because we all need our downtime, our be by ourselves time, strictly family time – so there needs to be guidelines – but again, grace, Kim, grace.

4.  It is not about getting something in return.  We do not give so that others will give back.  We do not shower grace in anticipation of what we might get in the future.

5.  It is about having the mind of Christ.  I need to keep this in mind.  Christ wasn’t worried about if the towel wrapped around his waist was clean and pressed and smelled like lavender.  He wasn’t concerned with the floor being swept.  His one concern was teaching them humility and service.  I want that pressed into me when I have folks in my home – or when I have the ability to serve at a function.  The pastors I have the opportunity to serve with model this well: if we have a meeting with food – it is mostly the pastors that are the first to jump up and clear the tables of the plates and trash.  It still surprises me every time.  I am grateful for their humble hearts and their willingness to serve us.

I write these things out of conviction and out of yearning to be more Christ-like, not that I have this all together.  Again – this whole preaching the gospel to myself.  Knowing that to die to self is the only way to live to Christ.  And that is my gain.

Here are some hopefully helpful quotes from wise women that I hope will encourage you in your effort to proclaim the gospel in your hospitality:

“God urges us to deny ourselves, to lose our lives, and to give preference to others.” – Dorothy Patterson, BeAttitudes for Women

“The home may not (be) a place of luxury, but (hopefully it is) a place of community.” – Carolyn McCulley, Radical Womanhood

“Simplicity frees you to extend hospitality more easily and more often, so that it can become a true ministry of the Christian home regardless of other demands on your time and energy.” – Eilizabeth Skoglund, The Welcoming Hearth

“Cultivating a love for the home means acquiring practical skills and training so that you can intentionally make your home a mission field, not a museum.” – Carolyn McCulley, Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye (and just to add…this mission field does not only apply to having non-believers in your home – but I truly think it also means to have the Body in your home and show them Christ.)

I hope this post encourages you.  It has me.  Even as I put the final period.

16 Feb 2011

Wednesday Words: How Deep the Father’s Love For Us

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There is a false belief out there for some people that all the good music for church was written at least 100 years ago and then there is the false belief that says only good music is stuff written today (or in the last 100 years).  Both of those are indeed false. 

So, how do we discern if something is fit to be sung in church?  Since I’m not a worship pastor, nor have a degree in music, this is not going to hit on anything musically (though I have sung my entire life and can play, I’m not the expert, there are plenty who know so much more than I do).  However, the lyrics we sing need to be grounded in truth and useful for the edification of the Body of Christ.  This grounding in truth needs to be grounded in the WORD – which is our source for hearing the very Words of God.

All that to say – this modern hymn written by Stuart Townend, is amazing, truth-filled, purposed for edification in the truth of the love of Christ, the GIFT of the Father, and the power of the Cross.  I figured it fitting since this week was Valentine’s Day and Easter is only 2 months away!  You can click here to hear Stuart talk about this song – which I love hearing (especially with his accent).  (And on a side note: he has written some fabulous music – much of what you might even sing in your own church and you don’t even know that it was Stuart Townend). 

How deep the Father’s love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
 But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrectionWhy should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Even reading these words and singing through them as I type them – bring pain, introspection, HOPE, and glory only in Christ.  There is so much truth here.  Sorta like Paul in Romans (almost a gospel in a book) – this is very much one of the gospels in a song for me.

14 Feb 2011

Much and Link Love: Valentine’s Day

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I will honestly tell you in some ways this is the worst holiday: and in some ways it is the best holiday.  I’ll leave it at that.  But, today’s Much and Link Love is going to include things I love:

1.  Brad and Lindsay Weldy (and the rest of the Weldy clan) – August 24th can’t get here soon enough

2.  Phyllis and Billy Robshaw (even though its been 2 years since I’ve seen you)

3.  Pencils.

4.  Zac Brown Band

5.  Violins/Fiddles

6.  Traveling

7.  Books/Journals

8.  Pretty jewelry from Jess LC and Moon & Lola

9.  Long meals with good friends and great food.

10.  The beach.

11.  Men who have discipled me in leadership/ministry/life:  Tommy Warnock, Bobby Crum, David Sims, Brad O’Brien, Danny Franks, James Hilton, the entire Providence pastors’ team, Billy Robshaw (above mentioned and his wife is mentioned below), the SBTS SCM team of profs, the CBMW guys, Brad Weldy (mentioned above with his wife also mentioned below), David Nelson, Ken Coley.  These men have mentored me and shepherded me and befriended me all in different ways.  What I do in life would not be the same if it weren’t for them.  The ones I know most well have taught me what it is to be a godly husband, and I appreciate their modeling that and for how they love their wives.

12.  Coconut

13.  Dark Chocolate

14.  My ESV  Journaling Bible

15.  Anything pink.

16.  Pearls

17.  Jimmy Stewart

18.  Women who have poured into my life and made me who I am: Dianne Davidson, Phyllis Robshaw, Clarissa Bacon, Lindsay Weldy, Tina Wright, Elizabeth Beeler.

19.  Friends (this list is not exhaustive by any means): Welds, Rach, Wendy, Tasya, Sherri, Sarah S, Heather, Christina, Kristie, Kasey, Brit

20.  Grace

21.  Hymns

22.  My couch

23.  International Mission Trips

24.  Baby’s toes (ok, really all new born babies)

25.  The fact that I know that the Word of God will prove true in my life for the glory of God.  He will see to it.  His desire is to make much of Himself – and I get to be a part of it because of His grace.

I could go on, but those are my top 25.  Enjoy.

13 Feb 2011

Taste of Durham: Pop’s Trattoria/Rue Cler

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Two delicious downtown restaurants: one week: one owner.

Rue Cler is about a block from First Durham, a french restaurant and bakery (I’ve heard their blueberry muffins are just excitement for your mouth).

A friend and I went.  Dinner menus are daily reads, so I couldn’t plan ahead of time (ACK!).  They are pre-fixe menus, but you can substitute for anything, or you can do it a la carte.

I got the salad frisee (frisee greens, croutons, vinaigrette, bacon (which I left off for meatless year) and an egg – broken down into the greens – maybe all the time from now on.  Then I had a side of the pomme frites (really yummy seasoned french fries).  I didn’t care for the sauce (butter/tarragon) but I refrained from asking for ketchup. 

We had a great waitress who was patient in answering all of our questions because neither of us specialize in French cooking.

The other restaurant I tried this week was Pop’s Trattoria on Main Street.  They recently moved buildings – into an urban/warehouse type feel with local artist’s work adorning the wall.  We walked right in on V-day weekend because of reservations.  They sat us right next to beautiful precious friends which made the night even more special. 

Mussels with tomatoes, white wine, and red chili – AMAZING.  You really want a straw to sip up all the broth – but instead you dip the bread.  They come around to the tables periodically with a big basket and a set of tongs to give you as much bread as you desire. (1 1/2 for me).  The olive oil they served was delicious and fruity, but it didn’t compare to the mussels’ broth, so I chose that for my dipping choice.

Those we devoured – we also got the apple brie ricotto pizza topped with a truffle oil cream.  Very rich, we took leftovers.

The food was better than the service.  That’s not to say the service was bad, just not STELLAR – but the food definitely made up for it.  I could go back every night just to have the mussels.  Will definitely be going back to Pop’s!