In honor of my love for Johnny Cash and this week’s VBS theme “Need Answers? Ask God.” I love this video with Johnny, Shel Silverstein (masterful poet), and guitars. I wonder if I was ever this inquisitive with my parents while I was growing up…
And I love the talk about this relationship with a father and son. There are so many homes in our churches and in the world that are without dads. Father’s Day is coming up. Thank your Dad, if you can. If you can’t for whatever reason – you do have a grand FATHER in heaven – who will never leave you nor forsake you.
Raising a Churchless Child
If you are reading this and love Jesus – then this will not make you happy. It will show you a sad and burdened and weighty part of our world – maybe even your neighborhood, your cubicle, or the exact life of the person next to you on the plane. So, here is the post in its entirety – then a few comments:
My husband and I were both raised Mormon. Independently of one another, we both stopped going to church after high school. Now, as adults, we are happy and comfortable with our personal belief systems and neither of us have any interest in going back to church, any church. My husband’s belief system leans more toward the scientific and rational, while I still entertain some spiritual beliefs that don’t have a particularly secular explanation… but in the end we’d probably both call ourselves agnostic. Basically, neither of us believe that we can be sure one way or the other and, at least for me, I’m just not sure it matters. In the end, shouldn’t we be good people because it’s just the right thing to do, independent of judgment from on high? And any God who might be out there… wouldn’t he/she/it be rather pleased I’ve lived a good life and been kind to others? There’s just something about the notion of an all powerful being who will punish me for not believing despite the quality of my life that seems a little… self serving? Narcissistic?
So we’ve decided to raise our daughter in the way that makes the most sense to us. As she grows up and begins to question the world around her, we’ll help her understand that people all over the world believe all kinds of different things. As an intelligent human being, it’s her job to find the belief system that is right for her and makes her feel happy and fulfilled. If she has a burning desire to become a Catholic or a Wiccan or whatever floats her spiritual boat, I’m behind her. I did my fair share of exploring various religions, and it helped me to come to where I am today, which is a very comfortable place independent of any organized religion. If she asks about God, we’ll help her explore her own thoughts and feelings about it. I have ZERO problem with her choosing a religion whenever she wants to, as long as she chooses something that makes her happy, that’s pretty much all I need from life.
There’s just one little snag… Her father and I did get something from our church attendance. We both got a good moral background that helped us not to be drunken partiers or crazy promiscuous as teenagers/college kids, and I like how that has helped informed who we are as adults. Of course, my friends and family tend to joke that I am secretly Amish, since I have never been a big drinker, never done any drugs (not even marijuana, not even once), and was always sexually responsible. I want our daughter to grow up with similar values, but the truth is that I think we can instill them without the help of the Almighty. In fact, our background in the church might have given us a little too much morality… For years with both had some issues with guilt and self-consciousness when it came to intimacy even though we were happily married, thanks to years of being told how wrong sex was. So maybe it’s not such a bad thing that our daughter won’t get any religious themes when it comes to morality. A cleaner, simpler lesson for her will be to just do the right thing. Do it because it’s right, not because you fear retribution or judgment.
This weekend at a Greek festival we saw one more aspect of church that we feel like is missing from our non-religious lives. Community. Everyone knew everyone, and everyone had the support of this vast social and religious network. Even though we live in a small town, the people here are not quick to make and maintain friendships, and in the end our neighborhood (which has thousands of houses within it’s sprawling borders) feels less like a community and more like a random collection of strangers. We have friends, but most of them live pretty far away and not many have kids. So how do we foster the kind of social atmosphere that will help our daughter to understand the worth of friends and loved ones beyond the family? Play groups? Clubs? Classes?
We’re still working on that part…
1. God created sex. Its not wrong within the bounds of a marriage between a man and a woman. CJ Mahaney has a great book on that for guys and Carolyn Mahaney has a great one for women.
2. Would it be in the best interest of a parent to let their child do everything that would make them happy? If I wanted to eat all the candy in the world and gain 300 lbs by the time I graduated high school because it made me happy – would my parents be good parents if they let me? If I wanted to drink tons of alcohol and get in a car and drive at a 16th bday party (because it would make me happy) would my parents be kind if they let me? A child’s happiness should not be the sole purpose of every parent.
3. Why do most non-believers only see God has judge? Do we Christians spend so much time talking about God’s judgement (and hell, which is real) that we don’t give them an accurate view of the grace, kindness, goodness, lovingkindness, forbearance, mercy of God?
4. Community. So – they did get something (even from a Mormon community). How is your community (your church) different and loving of outsiders – and how does it impact your daily life? I am blessed to be in an amazing church. I’ve only spent a few years without a real church home in my life – and those were some long years. I know the beauty of a gospel-centered community where Christ is exalted in all – and I love it. If you want more on this – go read Total Church by Tim Chester and Steve Timmis.
What are some questions you would pose from this post? What are your thoughts?
Learning Humility from Brian Regan
Love this dude. Thank you for Bruce Roberts and Chuck Haddox for my introduction. Some people talk about humility very seriously. I love Brian’s take:
Kenny Chesney's Keg in the Closet
I was in the car about 12 hours this weekend, so I had plenty of time with the radio. I heard this song on Friday, really listened to the words more on Saturday. If I really believed this song – life would be depressing. Why get up? Is beer really that good? Even high quality beer – none of this lite stuff. 🙂 Now, I liked hanging with my friends during college, I like mason jars, etc.
I was going to share a video that you could hear the words more, but I opted for this live video from Washington because I think it illustrates well a life that may be lived with this mentality. And then below you will find the lyrics.
I love country music. But, I also listen to country music with ears and a heart pointed to Christ – so digesting them with a biblical worldview (hopefully, by grace).
I was going to share a video that you could hear the words more, but I opted for this live video from Washington because I think it illustrates well a life that may be lived with this mentality. And then below you will find the lyrics.
I love country music. But, I also listen to country music with ears and a heart pointed to Christ – so digesting them with a biblical worldview (hopefully, by grace).
We had a dog named Bocephus livin in the front yard
He liked sleeping out on top of the car
He drank beer out of a mason jar
And he’d climb up on everyone in bed
White frame house in a college town
A bunch of people always hanging around
No real problems we needed to drown
But we’d try our best anyway
We went to class just to pass the time
Back in ’89
We had a keg in the closet,
Pizza on the floor
Left over from the night before
Where we were going we didn’t really care
We had all we ever wanted
And that keg in the closet
This ol’ guitar taught me how to score
Right there on that Lambda Chi porch
Mary Ann taught me a little more
About wanting what you can’t have
Sweatshirts and flag football
Spring Breaks down in Panama
For a while we had it all
We never dreamed it wouldn’t last
Resting
Flash back 10 years. I was 23, just finished my first semester of seminary, had already experienced the let down for failed relationship #1 in seminary, had made tons of new friends, didn’t know what the Fall held for me, knew that Kate Turabian was NOT going to be my friend for 3 more years, had just returned from Germantown, TN for OneDay 2000, and was getting ready to embark on summer #1 of staff with Centrifuge.
Why do I bring this all up? The first time you hear one of your favorite songs you remember where you were. Songs and music are very important to me. I remember the song my brother sang with his class at his Kindergarten graduation (I am a Promise). I remember the song I sang when I didn’t make the Ensemble my freshman year (My Favorite Things). I remember the song Angela and I sang for both Sr Homecoming and Graduation (bring on some Point of Grace). I remember George Strait’s first hit (Unwound). I remember singing Fishin’ in the Dark with my family at the Suwannee River when we had it on a compilation cassette tape with some Marie Osmond, Don Williams, and Dan Seals (gotta love Bop). So, the first time I heard Jesus I am Resting Resting (an old hymn by the way) – I fell in love with it. Years later this song was sung during a wedding that I was in and again – loved it. Unfortunately, this song isn’t sung as much in our churches or on the radio near as often – but hear the words. (We sang it this morning at staff meeting.)
So neat how God has been using discussions I’ve had in the last 2 months to directly point me to the truths in this song. I hope they are a blessing to you and you can REST in the truth:
Jesus I am resting, resting. In the joy of what you are. I am finding out the greatness – of your loving heart.
You have bid me gaze upon you. Your beauty fills my soul. For by your transforming power – you have made me whole.
Oh how great your lovingkindness. Vaster broader than the sea. Oh how marvelous your goodness, lavished all on me.Yes I rest in you Beloved. Know what wealth of grace is thine. Know your certainty of promise, and have made it mine.
Simply trusting you Lord Jesus. I behold you as you are. And your love so pure so changeless. Satisfies my heart.
Satisfies its deepest longings. Meets, supplies its every need. Compasseth me round with blessings. Your’s is love indeed.
Ever lift Your face upon me. As I work and wait for you. Resting neath your smile, Lord Jesus. Earth’s dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father’s glory. Sunshine of my Father’s face. Keep me ever trusting, resting. Fill me with your grace.
Jesus I am resting resting. In the joy of what you are. I am finding out the greatness, of your loving heart.
Downhill at Dawn Half Marathon Recap
My second half marathon is in the books. Here are the thoughts:
1. I beat my last time. My first half (Derby half last April in the ville) I did it in 3.00.07 and was very disappointed in my time. This year I did it in 2.51.00 – 13.04 pace for a mile. My goal is to almost always beat my PR (if I am doing the race for time).
2. I wanted to see how my self-motivation was. I ran this race knowing no one, having no one cheering me on at the finish line, no iPod. How was I going to keep up the motivation when the running got rough? Almost like preaching the gospel to myself every morning (and yes, the gospel is so much more important) I just kept talking to myself and being encouraging to others around me.
3. I am sore. I am definitely more sore than I was after the first half. My hams hurt, my biceps hurt (go figure), my hips hurt, I have a no-skin part of the achilles heel where I got a blister on Thursday and just peeled the skin off, went with a bandaid. I did notice the pain during the race, my feet hurt – the tops of them. My neck hurts and my abs hurt. Believe me – all over.
4. I ran with a 66 year old Navy kid who has taught for 41 years. I jogged, he was walking for a good bit – miles 4-9 about. That is definitely the farthest I had gone without taking many walking breaks. We talked about injuries, Joseph A Banks shirts at goodwill, other races he had done. He finished 32 seconds behind me. He was a good partner.
5. This race was held at Ridgecrest – Lifeway’s camp in the foothills of the Blue Ridge mountains. Gorgeous. Mosty downhill. Not overly muggy like Raleigh has been lately. Since we started at dawn (actually 6.06am) – it stayed relatively cool – and believe me – in the sun – I was praying for shade and extremely thankful for it.
6. Part of the course was on gravel. Which I would have gladly changed for pavement. Bring on the pavement!
7. The registration was a little disorganized. But, at 5.15 what else would you expect?
8. Loved the shirts that we got! Long sleeve blue whicking (sp?) material shirts.
9. The whole course there were water stations, goo stations, and gatorade stations. I sweated enough to definitely need it – so I got 3 water cups at stations. No port-a-potty needed! They even had the Old Fort cops and the race director driving by with water.
10. Yes, I will be doing this one again next year. I did enjoy it. Anyone up for doing it with me? I also want to go to Jacksonville next March and do the Gate River Run. I’ve always wanted to do it.
Ambition
I haven’t done a real personal blog in a while, so this is what you readers (hi very few people) get when I have been awake for 90 minutes and its not even 530am yet. My Dad always said that if you sleep till the sun comes up you’ve wasted half the day.
Much has been on my mind this week; it hasn’t really had time to stop. When I awake in the middle of the night, country music starts playing (I’ve been in the car a lot this week). When I go to sleep, my brain is still in full gear and my stomach usually empty or not feeling well – take your pick (would rather take the empty).
Ok – enough random…Reason of post…
I’ve been in Raleigh 2 months. For the 2.7 years before then (and probably even longer, maybe since Thailand) – life seemed in a holding pattern. Yes, I moved to Louisville, got a great job, worked with fabulous people, had amazing friends, lost 60 lbs, started running, etc. But…what was my life pointed toward? I really think for a lot of life, my life was pointed to myself. I tried to get involved in ministry that I was excited about – but none ever seemed to come to fruition. Sure, I had a few times to speak, write, disciple – but my life wasn’t pointed in that direction. I spent much of the last 3 years focused on me: getting out of debt, losing weight, honing skills, etc.
Now that I am in Raleigh – my life looks totally different. I am busy A LOT. My boss constantly tells me it is about balance. Maybe in July it can be about balance (definitely not June). Thursdays are my day off and they are usually full (researching and hanging with friends and doing a longer run – or sleeping past 6am). Monday -Wednesday night is usually full of ministry things. This weekend that is almost over was definitely full with a drive to the mountains for a half, then to Knoxville to talk about writing, then driving back (an 8 hour drive is not a wise idea for someone just having done a half – sore hip!). Today is a full day at church and with friends. (Sleep would have been nice to get either night.) Next weekend – looking forward to being in town, running a 5k, and seeing what might come up, not having a lot on the agenda once I leave the office on Friday.
Anyway…title of this post…
Ambition: the act of soliciting for votes (literal). “Desire to achieve a particular end” Thank you Merriem Webster.
I’ve been thinking much about this term this week. Is my life pointed in any direction? Do I have ambition and if so, what is the object of my ambition. Am I passionate enough about the things in my life so that when people look at my life they would see those things? And if so – what are they?
Am I more than just a foodie? Am I more than just a person who cares about exercise and eating right? Do I care for more than Gator football (praise God we are approaching football season)? Do I love to travel? Do I love people? Do I care for more things than my job? If you were to tape all of my conversations during the week (emails, texts, chats, coffee times)…what would you hear that I am passionate/ambitious for?
God gives us many things in life to be passionate about. He gives us hobbies and things that bring us much joy. My thought is – do I point them all back to Him for his glory? Do I use food to bless people? Do I hang out with people to love on them and be loved? Do I travel and thank God for the beauty and the incredibleness of the world He has given (sunset in Winston last night, Blue Ridge mtns, storm clouds, DC flowers and history, Alaska whales and mountains and islands, Sentosa Island in SE Asia, the Atlantic ocean, airports, my cute little PT cruiser, the Black Sea in southern Russia, Red Square and all of its history and ornate design, Boca Grande’s birds, Salt run in St. Augustine, southern GA red clay, lighthouses, surf, sand between my toes, intricate design on flowers, the quite and amazingness of NE Ga, the Appalachians, the Rockies, Chicago covered in snow, the splendor or seeing a sunset from the sky, the darkness of flying over the pond at night in a plane so high above it, lightning from the safety of a metal plane, the pinkish orange sky that appears in the morning, hurricanes, tornadoes, black thunderclouds…I could go on).
Back in seminary days…I remember having a class with Dr. Reid. We sang a song almost every Friday morning (Michelle on guitar, April on the egg) – Give me one pure and holy passion, give me one magnificent obsession, give me one glorious ambition for me life…to know and follow hard after you. To know and follow hard after you, to grow as your disciple in your truth, this world is empty pale and poor, compared to knowing you my Lord, lead me on, and I will run after you, lead me on and I will run after you.
April stood up one day and said this. Is it? Is this world empty pale and poor?
Ambition. Run hard. I think of a Helen Keller quote I read today:
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
Modesty – Abbey Cooler (Guest Post)
Seminary was a grand time. I loved the relationships God allowed me to build during those 3.5 years. It is neat now to see how God is using so many of those friends around the country and in the world for His glory.
Abbey Cooler is one of them. We had many classes together in the education ministries at Southeastern. She is now a wife and mom and writer in Georgia. one thing I love about Abbey is her strength in the Word to guide her daily tasks and how she looks at her world.
A few weeks back, she posted this helpful bullet list (really to help you on your own study on modesty. I thought it would be an encouragement to you – especially those who are parents or those who work with girls or women – since this struggle with the flesh will continue until we stand in front of Jesus.
Press on in godliness.
What the WORLD says about beauty and modesty:
You have to be a certain size
You have to wear a certain type of clothes
It is ok to wear tight, short or skimpy
Dress older when you are younger
Dress younger when you are older
What the Bible says about modesty:
Modesty: the need to cover our bodies. Characterized by reserve and freedom from excess
Modesty in the Old Testament
Adam and Eve (Genesis 3:21)
Noah (Genesis 9:21-25)
Isaiah (Isaiah 3:16)
Hosea (Hosea 2:5)
Modesty in the New Testament
Paul talks about modesty ( 1 Corinthians 12:23, 1 Timothy 2:9)
Proper dress of believers
Boundaries
Regulated by relationship with Christ
1 Corinthians
Body is Temple of God
Your responsibility
What you are internally is shown externally
How can I look “cool” and still be modest:
Wear your own size.
You are at the point in your life when you are growing or getting ready for a growth spurt
It is ok, if you have to go up a size. You look better if your clothes fit (KD note: What Not to Wear hosts say this all the time, so even fashion experts agree with Abbey)
Don’t compare yourself to others
Find your own style
Wear what makes you feel confident and comfortable
Remember you are God’s workmanship
Radical Womanhood: Carolyn McCulley
Carolyn McCulley has been a blessing to me through her writing, speaking, and the few times I have been blessed to hang out with her. She cares deeply about Christ, the church, missions, and women. She cares about the gospel being lived out well by the women she is in contact with. That is why you can hear and feel her heartbeat in her latest book, Radical Womanhood.
I love hearing Carolyn’s story of God’s grace on her life. Saved much later than most, in her 30s, she saw great evidences of God’s grace in her life as He shaped, and continually shapes, her to be a Radical Woman. This book was written to help others who find themselves in the culture that displays very different standards for men and women when compared to God’s Word.
As a friend and I have read this book together over the past 2 months, we both said that it was very helpful to us. This would not be a book we would give to new Christians though, especially young women because of its depth. More so, I see this book as a crucial tool to give to women in our churches to see how their ideologies and performance-based theories of worth are not founded in Scripture – yet they are founded in the lies of Satan. If you did want to walk through it as a new believer, or even one who doesn’t know Christ, this would be excellent to go through with a friend. My friend and I were able to discuss it over sushi or pizza and salads. Made for interesting dinner conversation and I was thankful for the push!
This book has enough history in it to give one an overview of the three movements within Feminism. McCulley shows you the depth of which these movements have permeated every part of our society: our home, the work place, and the church. When reading through some of the tougher chapters, such as “The Mommy Wars” – one almost reads in defeat because of the overwhelming sin and destructive thoughts that permeate the area of birth control, Planned Parenthood, etc.
At the end of the chapters, Carolyn brings each of the matters a little closer to home with real life snippets of women who have been molded and shaped in these areas by the grace of God and for His glory.
Just some thoughts that I underlined:
“Sin also separates us from one another. We need to be redeemed from the consequences of sin – God’s righteous judgment and wrath – to experience true freedom.” (p 45)
“Every time my married friends spoke to me about their trials and temptations, I had the choice to influence them with the Bible’s perspective or with the latest self-help theories. We do not need the authority of personal experience to counsel one another because the Bible is sufficient for this task. But, we do need to know the Word.” (p 75)
“However, even among a large number of Christians today, the home is not as important as it once was, nor it is viewed as a place of ministry and outreach.” (p 104). Carolyn goes into this concept more in depth, especially for single women, in her book Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?.
Thoughts on Margaret Sanger (founder of modern-day birth control movement) – THINK about this – whether you are married or not: “Margaret Sanger was the founder of the modern birth control movement and a vocal proponent of eugenics – the theory of race improvement that was the cornerstone of Nazi Germany. Sanger believed that all evils stemmed from large families, especially large families of those she deemed as unfit. As she wrote in her 1920 book Woman and the New Race, “The most merciful thing that a large family does to one of its infant members is to kill it.” (p 128) This will and should make you weep for the gospel and the coming of Christ.
“Without the cross, we are doomed. There is no hope for mercy to triumph over judgment unless it be at the foot of the cross.” (p 131)
Read, learn, engage the culture around you with the Truth of the Cross and the Word.
Ed Gungor in Relevant Magazine on Modesty
Relevant Magazine is a cutting edge, all about culture with a Christian view online/published magazine. Anywhere from politics to music to movies to personal attitude – all of these are discussed in this magazine.
Each week I get an email with what is new, this week’s definitely made me want to read it. Ed Gungor is an author, pastor, father, husband. He wrote an article for this edition of Relevant entitled “Does Modesty Really Matter”. I will attempt to respond to two things in this article.
Here’s where I agree:
“The apostle Paul wrote that Christ-followers should “dress modestly, with decency and propriety” (1 Timothy 2:9). Inherent in Christian thought is the notion of “modesty” (for both men and women), which implies a kind of reserve about how one dresses, along with a humility that willingly owns the fact that our actions and choices do affect others. Whether we like it or not, we can dress and carry ourselves in ways that illicit inappropriate and lustful reactions in others. But this opens up a proverbial can of worms—when is it, “I lusted and it’s your fault,” and when is it, “I need to be responsible for the fact that I am a lustful person”? The “who-is-culpable?” question is full of subjectivity and complexity.”
I have had many people over the years use the “I can’t help it if men stare at me and lust” excuse. You are right – you can’t help what the other person does. I love it though here where Pastor Gungor uses modesty also in the sense of the attitude/body positioning/eye winking mode. Two other books I’ve read recently, Carolyn McCulley’s Radical Womanhood Mary Kassian’s Girls Gone Wise both speak on this topic and would be worth your read. For women, especially, not only do the clothes matter but the heart matters as well.
Here is where I didn’t agree:
Fashions come and go. Skirt hems go up and down; clothing gets tighter in some seasons and baggy in others; sometimes necklines plummet to depths that leave little to the imagination—somewhere in the milieu of the fashion waterworld, believers need space to think through what they believe modesty, decency and propriety are. But you need to be honest about what constitutes inappropriateness within your particular cultural context. This is an issue that demands careful reflection in the heart and honest discussion with the community one is called to be a part of. (That being said, don’t necessarily let prudish church people tell you where the center on this issue is. In the fear of sin, church folk tend to overprotect and over-sanitize their views on just about everything.)
Bottom line? I think you can get away with being as fashionable as you want, as long as your heart is clear and clean and you don’t have patterns of complaints from those you love and trust. If your heart is clear and clean, you can confidently tell the occasional accuser who makes the “you-make-me-lust” accusation to go look in the mirror for the source of his or her inappropriate desires.
I just won’t go that far. If what is fashionable is a halter top and a mini skirt – whether you have a good attitude about it or not – is not appropriate. If Madonna’s or Lady Gaga’s style is what is fashionable, or even Miley Cyrus or anyone else we watch on TV or see on stage, than I don’t believe we as believers, as women of God, seeking to build up the body of Christ and make God famous – can wear this – no matter what our conscience says.
Hear the Apostle Paul’s exhortation to the young pastor, Timothy: “Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.”
Not that I don’t want to be fashionable, but if it comes down to being fashionable or “proper for women who profess godliness” – I hope I always turn to the latter.
Thoughts?