25 Nov 2010

Grateful FX – Thanksgiving 2010

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My friend, Jennifer, over at Cornerstone Church of Knoxville (fabulous Sovereign Grace church, if I had to live in Volunteer country – this is where I would go) asked me to guest post for their singles’ blog for Thanksgiving. Here it is: enjoy!

Thanksgiving. Publix commercials of big turkeys perfectly roasted and stuffed with bounty from gardens (or the grocery store). Football games and parades on television. Long-lost relatives offering much advice on the state of our dating lives (or the lack there of). Most of us cook or eat way too much food only to nap on the couch and eat more for dinner. Unfortunately, the “thankful” part is a two-minute grace that we say before the meal. Really? Is that was Thanksgiving boils down to? Don’t we have so much more to be thankful for in our lives than turkey, cranberry sauce, and pecan pie (and the correct pronunciation can be debated by all southerners).

Colossians 3 is a reminder of what our lives should look like in response to the gospel of God in Christ. We can’t live out the end of Colossians 3 unless we start at the beginning of the chapter. Paul exhorts the Colossian believers with this: “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” (Colossians 3:1-4) If we claim Christ as our Lord and Savior, then we should be dead to the things of self and flesh. This includes but is not limited to: quarreling (which occurs in most American homes at ALL holidays), ungratefulness (are you really going to argue about who gets the last crescent roll or the turkey leg), and bitterness (are we bitter that we aren’t married YET and may even still be eating at the kiddie table?) Oh, that our hearts may be changed because of the Gospel.

Colossians 3:16 tells us how we should live our lives in light of being raised with Christ. Hint: the gospel should compel us to live like this: “Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly, admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” This doesn’t mean that we have to break out in songs as we pass each other on the street, in the church, or in our homes. But, the gospel should set the tone for our hearts and our lips. The Gospel has provided us so much. We were dead; but, God. God showed his immeasurable goodness and grace to us by sending His Son to save ungrateful people who cared nothing for the things of God. We now have the opportunity to sit and dine with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, with the Bread of Life, with the Living Water.

As we sit down to the Thanksgiving table with family and friends this November, let us remember that we deserve death. We don’t even deserve a turkey, or ham, or stuffing, or a home, or anything. But, in God’s kindness we can sit and dine with friends and family and have way more than we ever should have. Let our hearts and minds and lips reflect the goodness of our precious and abundantly-giving gracious Father who saved us in Christ.

11 May 2010

Connecting Church & Home Conference

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Southern Seminary in Louisville, KY, is hosting a conference that will help you and your ministry team get a picture of what this could look like in your church.

Dr. Randy Stinson, Dean of the School of Church Ministries, has brought together a team of experts on church, family, ministry, and culture including Dr. Albert Mohler, Dr. Russell Moore, Dr. Timothy Jones, Steve Wright, and Jay Strother – with many more. You will get a chance to interact with these speakers and have small group discussion. You will get the benefit of sharing in smaller group learning environments about what is going on at other churches, asking questions, and sharing ideas. This would be the perfect conference for you to not only come yourself, but to also bring your entire ministry team.

Mark your calendars now, register, book your travel itinerary, and don’t miss this exciting conference in Louisville.

5 May 2010

Book Review: Collaborate

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In light of the title of the book, Collaborate is a collaborative effort by many ministers in the field of children, family, and student ministry to bring the best of the best of their ideas to the table. Chanley, at Southeast in Louisville, KY, put together these short chapters filled with excellent events you can do at your church to help bridge the gap that is evident in ministries and families across America.
Good things about this book:
1. Rob Rienow’s chapter. I had read a bulk of the material for since I am familiar with Rob’s writings, but it was a good reminder of WHY we do family ministry and WHY THERE IS A NEED for family ministry. The reason this chapter, for me, was the best out of this book is because it is the only one whose main focus was the theological reason behind family ministry. Others definitely drove Deut 6.4-9 into the ground and used that as an imperative for ministry – but Rob opened up the biblical mandate for Family Ministry and parenting and the church and the gospel. Theology, I know, wasn’t the main point of this book. And Chanley and others definitely succeded in the aim of this book. (That’s why there are multiple books out there, each with its specific niche.)
2. Rob Bradbury encouraged me by his list. Not only will this chapter be helpful as people sit down to plan out events – but he started with the most important, yet most often overlooked element. PRAYER. He listed prayer before advertising. How often to do plan, advertise, talk up, poster-up, get volunteers – even before we pray. At the church I serve, we have even noticed that this is not as big of a focus as we need it to be. So, we are taking many efforts to strengthen our prayer times in staff meetings or in our lives personally. Today, even, stopping in the middle of staff meeting to pray for a lady who walked through our doors during Joy Prom and said she had never (in 62 years, in the South) walked into a church. These are the things that need praying for.
3. Short chapters. I like books with short chapters because I feel like I can plow through a book without having to sit down and read for 2 hours straight. I like being able to end at a chapter, not in the middle of one.
4. Very practical. If you need ideas, or are stuck and uncreative (like I often am), this book will help bring some fresh new ideas from literally around the world to you.

One word of caution with this book: Picking up this book would lead some to believe that is all about activity – or events. Family Ministry is not event driven. It must NOT be. It has to be theology and gospel driven. God can and does use events to draw people to themselves (take Joy Prom for example, or youth camp, or VBS, or Family Fall night, but if it is event driven, we will just fill up a calendar and spend money. If it is gospel-driven – then hopefully God will use the church to make an impact in the lives of families. You can’t get your people on board with events unless they know the why behind what you do.

That is my daily challenge. May it be your’s as well.

Colossians 3.16 – Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly.”
28 Apr 2010

Book Review: Ware's Big Truths for Young Hearts

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Most people would not pick up this book and think of a seminary text book on theology (for example: Grudem, Erickson) – but this book is just as potent – just in paperback form!

Having the opportunity to work with Dr. Ware at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary was definitely a highlight for me during my time there. Seeing the humility and focus on the gospel in which he and his wife lived their lives was a light. The best part of the book, in a way, was the forward which was written by Ware’s daughters. They provided insight into long road trips and family dinners they had with their Dad. Dr. Ware lives this theology book. He just doesn’t teach it in the classroom or preach it from the pulpit; he and his wife model it for their children, even now as they are grown women. They have had a godly example from which to pattern their lives after and as they raise their children by teaching them Big Truths for Young Hearts.

There are multiple uses for this book (and no, one of them is not hand it to a 10 year old and have them give you a book report on it in a month):
1. Read it. Especially if you are a new believer, or know new believers, Dr. Ware puts many difficult theological concepts in terms and with illustrations to make them easier to comprehend.
2. If you are a Dad: read it, share it with your family – even a chapter a week – at family devotion time. It would be a source of encouragement and edification for you. Read the chapter (short 2-4 pages mostly), then have discussion. Makes family worship easier. The end of each chapter even has questions for discussion (so you don’t have to come up with those on your own either). This would be a great tool for Family Worship.
3. Praise. Many times at the end of each chapter, Dr. Ware breaks into a doxology of sorts. The idea that he models here for his readers is that knowing who God is (and Christ, the Spirit, the Church, Man, Salvation, End Times) should warrant our utmost praise! Maybe even break into song!

What I loved about this book is that it gave me broad segments of theology, didn’t try to cover everything, was readable, had Scripture within the text, and gave me many “pierce the heart” moments of conviction. Here are some:
“How foolish we are when we forget to read and study this book. But how wise and blessed we are when we go to this book constantly for instruction, guidance, correction, and help with living life as God wants.” (p 23 – The Bible)
“A grumbling spirit is sinful, because it fails to recognize God’s goodness and kindness in providing for us every good thing in life that we enjoy.” (p 69 – God Provides)
“If our punishment is a small thing, then when we learn that Jesus took our punishment upon himself, we think little of this. But, when we see our punishment as the great and weighty and horrible thing that it is, then it becomes a wonder and a marvel to us that Jesus took that punishment upon himself for us.” (p 99 – Punishment for Sin)
“The Spirit will have a great influence and will provide more direction in our lives as God’s Word “dwells” more and more within us. Our reading of his Word, our time spend memorizing and meditating on Scripture, is one of the main tools that the Spirit uses to help us think, feel, speak, and act in ways that are more and more pleasing to Christ.” (p 167 – Spirit)
“We love many things in this world that we shouldn’t love, yet we don’t love God as we should.” (p 171 – God’s Kindness and Wisdom)
Believe me, there are many other sentences and paragraphs underlined in my copy. Read it. May it be an encouragement to you and may it be a tool you can use to help lead your family in knowing God deeper.

Colossians 3.16 – Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly.”
23 Apr 2010

Book Review: Our Home is Like a Little Church

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Sojourn Community Church in Louisville, KY is graced to have many talented people in her body. There are artists, writers, singers, players, cookers, – so many.
What I really like about this one is it a simple reminder (complete with rhyming syntax, fun type, and creative characters) of what “worship-at-home” could look like.
Often, in this discussion of family worship, people ask “How do I do that?’ There isn’t anything you MUST do to have family worship or have to incorporate for it to be right. If you aren’t singers, you don’t have to sing. If you aren’t into poetry, you don’t have to have a reading time. Family Worship can start simply by just reading 10 verses, talking about it, and praying together as a family. Maybe that will take 10 minutes. Maybe you will do that once a month. Maybe you’ll do it once a week. The simple equation: just do something. Maybe you are gifted at the guitar or piano or writing songs or creative motions – incorporate those. There is so much freedom in this concept of family worship. Maybe your children love to draw – show them how their drawings can be an act of worship – as they share with the family what God taught them through that practice.
Sojourn tries to remind parents that they should be taking the lead in family worship, that the Dad should be shepherding his family in this way (just as the Pastor would do at the church). An underlying theological truth that is hinted at is that male leadership is a right Biblical concept. This is stated in their goal of this book: “was written to teach preschool children the Christian truth evident…that the home is a little church where the father teaches his family God’s commands and leads them to worship the one true God.”
And in accomplishing this goal very well, Sojourn also puts forth the co-championing model of Family Worship: “God intended the home to be the front line of ministry to children – not the Sunday School or public church gathering ALONE.” This is even intentional throughout the book as on one side of the page there is what we do in church and on the adjacent side if what we do at home.
One critique: this is more of a cultural one. Unfortunately, many marriages/families even within evangelical churches are lead by a single mother. Whether that is by divorce/separation/never present father/unwed teen moms/death – the reality is clear and present. The book is designed to appeal to “cookie cutter” Christian families. How does this work when given to a single Mom who is at her rope’s end because her kids are driving her crazy with all the other demands of being a single parent? One way to use this would be to give it to her, but then do a couple things:
1. Pray (with her) that God would give her strength and grace to accomplish this task of raising her children and discipling them in the fear and admonition of the Lord.
2. Pair her up with another Mom (single or married) who is leading well in this area.
3. Don’t just send her on her way – make sure she is being cared for, loved on, and nurtured.

This book would be an excellent, inexpensive tool to share with new parents, or new parents in your preschool ministry at your church – about what you expect of them as parents and leading the way in Family Worship.

Colossians 3.16 – Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly.”
26 Mar 2010

True Woman Conference Chattanooga: Voddie Baucham

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True Woman Conference Sessions 1: Voddie Baucham
Dr. Baucham is a pastor in Spring, Texas and an author, a husband, and a father. The first time I heard him speak live was at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary to a packed house – he brought it. Tonight he is speaking to a group of women of all ages – about 2400 of us. Different audience, same Truth. Tonight, the truth is coming from Titus 1-2.
“Set our heart’s affection on you – speak to us clearly and powerfully through your Word.” – Amen
From True Woman Manifesto: God’s Plan for gender is wider than marriage; all women, whether married or single, are to model femininity in their various relationship, by exhibiting a distinctive modesty , responsiveness, and gentleness of spirit. (Lord – make this so in my life.)
Mature Christian women have a responsibility to leave a legacy of faith, by discipling younger women in the Word and ways of God and modeling for the next generation lives of fruitful femininity.
God gives us a picture in Titus 1 and 2 of what he has provided for our sanctification – the way he shapes our lives as believers. There are three principle tools here:
a. Godly mature men and women in the church.
b. Godly manly elders and pastors
c. Biblically functioning homes

Titus 2 – Godly mature men and women in the church. This is for our discipleship and growth in Christ. Older men are to be. Older women are to likewise be. Godly, mature, character. This isn’t automatic for people who are older – this is character that is formed over time and is the fruit of sanctification. This is the picture of character forged over time. We, as women, have a unique power in our tongue – to build up and to tear down. The older women are exemplified in the way we use our speech. The picture painted here is the result of the years of walking with God and being transformed by the gospel – she opens her mouth and wisdom comes out (Prov 31, Gal 4, Dt 31), speaking God’s truth. This isn’t a picture of a woman who teaches Bible studies (primarily) – but is speaking of a woman who has poured her life into the lives of women through intentional relationships. The younger women need older women to teach them to love their husbands and children. That the Word of God might not be reviled. When older women are not about the task of teaching younger women – we are not rightly living out the gospel. If we are following the ways of a culture that denies biblical manhood and womanhood, then I am marring the picture of Christ and his Church. His honor is being defamed. These things need to be taught. The older women have such a crucial role in the life of the church. And when we blame our disobedience on our circumstances: we are putting our circumstances above the Word of God.

Titus 1: Godly manly elders and pastors. The list in Titus 1 is primarily for pastors and elders, but Titus 1 is for all men – here is why:
There is no list in Titus 2.
Pastors are called in 1 Peter 5.3 to be examples to the flock. If he has a list of qualifications that aren’t applicable to the rest of the flock – then how can he be an example.
There isn’t anything in this list that we would give up for our sons – that we would not want our sons to be. Above reproach. Godly kids. Not arrogant. But hospitable. Hold firm to
the Truth (not a heretic). (Just to name a few.)
Titus 1: Biblically functioning homes. Titus 1.10 – “for” – there are many who are upsetting whole families.”
The primary discipling unit is the home. Eph 6.1-4. Children, parents, fathers – Dt 6, Ps 78, Proverbs – the home is the place of instruction for our children. Child is born. Child is born into a home with a mother and father who know and love God. They understand biblical womanhood and manhood, understand marriage as a picture of the gospel, and they give sound doctrine throughout the life of that child, they take that child to a healthy church where he hears thundering gospel from the pulpit. The pastor echoes what this child has heard in his home, the gray-haired folks in the church echo what this child has learned in his home. That is the picture.
On a personal note: I do not live in the ideal. I am not ideal: I sin. I fall short of the glory of God. I do have great older women, pastors, and families who model Titus 1 and 2 for me. I pray that as I grow older, the Lord continues to put younger women in my life that I can pour into – that I can speak grace and truth to. Lord – make my speech a display of your glorious Gospel.
When we don’t have all the pieces of this puzzle – be grateful before you get mad at the Lord. Be grateful for the grace in your life of what you do have. Repent of the sin that is in our lives that keep us from having the ideal. We live in a fallen world – always affected by either our sin or someone else’s sin. Repent of the anger, the bitterness, the lies, the unforgiveness. Be God’s, live and walk in the Truth of the Word and the light of the Gospel.

Colossians 3.16 – Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly.”
16 Feb 2010

From the Pen of Rob Rienow: Parenting and the Church

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More reading – and passing along the nuggets of truth to you.
I have just finished 3 books by the same author: Rob Rienow, founder (with his wife, Amy) of Visionary Parenting and Family Pastor at Wheaton Bible Church in Wheaton, IL. I have spoken with Rob about ministry and then got to meet him and hear him teach a class at his church in January.
The three books that I have read are:
God’s Grand Vision for the Home
Passing the Torch (just two chapters in a multi-author book)
Visionary Parenting (if I just got one, get this one)

Here are some valuable quotes from him and some personal thoughts:
“delegation parenting” – Love this term. It is what a lot of parents in the world today, even in the church, do to get someone else to teach, train, or discipline, or even just be friends with, their kids.
“What am I doing daily with this power and responsibility to impress the hearts of my kids with a love for God?”
“We need to set the example for our kids by putting ourselves under the authority of the Bible, allowing it to speak to our hearts, and letting our kids us talk about it.” Honestly, I didn’t grow up with this in the home. I went to a Christian school and church, but didn’t have it spoken of much in the home. Not till I went to college and built a relationship with my mentor did this become a reality to me.
“Generation after generation have failed to win the souls of their children.” I have spent the last month in the Old Testament. Many times, even in those genealogies many of us skip over, it speaks of the generations and if the sons followed after the fathers. Lineage, genealogy, and faith were very important to the Israelites.
“Christians (begin) to reflect the secular culture.” When did we do this? Sad but true. We do it in parenting, in clothing, in books/movies. We are called out from the world, a chosen people, a royal priesthood. Back in seminary I had a square postcard on my closet door: The Church is not called to reflect the world, but to change it.
“At the heart of the advance of the Gospel is the call to parents to impress the hearts of their children with a love for God and for His Word.” How does your own life reflect this love? Not only to your children, but also to your co-workers, your extended family, and people you meet in line at the grocery store?
“No one can compete with the power a parent has to shape the heart of a child. Your power to bless your children, to build character in their hearts, and to lead them to faith in Jesus Christ.” See the first quote. The last two episodes of Criminal Minds – by far my favorite show on television – has been about the influence of fathers over their sons. Powerful stuff!
“God never calls us to do something and then abandons us when we seek to be obedient.” This may be helpful to you in any situation you are facing right now. I’ve had to remind myself of this very thing as I get anxious about some changes coming in my life. God is so much more faithful to us than we could ever be to Him. He will not leave you!
“Our kids will remember who we are at home for more than what we accomplish in our work and activities outside our home.”
“One of the subtle ways the enemy pulls parents away from their primary life mission of passing faith to their children is to get them over-involved at church.” Wow. This was a power statement for me.

If you are a parent, work with parents, want to be a parent, know any parents (yes, I think that could just about include everyone who reads this blog), pick up these books. I think Visionary Parenting is a good overview and very convicting. These books have great theology, are packed with personal experience, advice, and practical tips, and are loaded with Scripture.

Colossians 3.16 – Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly.”
5 Feb 2010

Book Review: Perspectives on Family Ministry

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I went to First Baptist Church, Plant City, FL for most of my high school years. Tommy Warnock had such an amazing impact on my life in areas of discipleship, leadership, and missions. His faithfulness in ministry and love for others was contagious. I’m so glad God put me there; much of the future of my life was rooted in that one decision to go to that church.
Time span: 1995 (graduation) to 2010 (now). I have grown in knowledge of the Word and the turns and styles of ministry. Being in many churches since high school graduation and attending seminary, and now working at a seminary has definitely had an impact on how I think about and am active in ministry.
This book highlights one of the latest “styles” in how to do children and youth ministry. 5-10 years ago no one would have had a conversation about family-integrated, family-based, or family-equipping ministry models. I read Mark Devries‘ book Family-Based Youth Ministry in college as I minored in youth ministry, and applied it to the youth ministry in which I was working. I quickly forgot what I read and couldn’t tell you one underlined statement from that book – but I remember its implications.
The youth ministry staff I was on was a thriving youth ministry, boasted the largest youth ministry in St. Augustine. I loved teaching the Word every week to 70+ middle schoolers, playing games, going on ski-trips, having 5 middle-school girls sledding down my stairs on a mattress – those were the times. I love those girls I had in their youth group years. I love the parents who participated in the youth group, went on the same trips, loved teenagers, taught Sunday School, cooked brownies. They were so cool. But I also remember the parents who whipped through the parking lot of the church (dodging the kids shooting baskets or skateboarding) to drop their kids off for youth group by 6.10pm. I pray I had an impact on the lives of those girls. My first discipleship opportunity with a young lady was amazing and life-changing for both of us as we enjoyed dinner with her family every week one summer and then studied a Max Lucado book together upstairs. I loved that time. She is thriving in life and ministry right now. But, I guarantee that has more to do with the fact that she has parents who model a life of following Christ every day than that one summer I had with her, Wed night youth group meetings, ski trips, and Sunday School classes.
Anyway…this discussion of style of ministry is fairly new. When I started working at Southern Seminary in Fall 2007, the first I ever heard of this was because Steve Wright wrote a book entitled RE:Think. Timothy Jones and Randy Stinson continued the conversation and were teaching principles based on the Word, and dubbed “Family-equipping model”. This is the culture I have been immersed in over the last 2.5 years. This has provided me much to think about and wrestle with. This is what I have come up with.
God created the family – Gen 2
God gave the mandate to the parents for discipling their children – Dt 6
God gave the ministry of equipping the saints to the pastors – Eph 4
The call of disciples of Christ is to evangelize the world – Matt 28.

This book, edited by Dr. Timothy Jones, with authors Paul Renfro, Brandon Shields, and Jay Strother, is a good introduction to these three models (mentioned at the beginning of this) and gives the reader much food for thought. This book would be extremely helpful to people training for ministry, or for church staffers looking at making a change to existing ministries.
Personally, I thought Renfro’s was the strongest argument, Jay Strother’s was the most practical, and Shield’s was the weakest. That doesn’t mean anything – that may just be the style of writing. I liked the humble dialogue between the authors as they brought out points that most readers may not have thought of while they worked through the styles of ministry.
Here are some quotes from the book:
“Church programs have usurped a responsibility that Scripture and church history place first and foremost at the feet of parents.” – Jones, 21
“Family ministry is not another church program that a pastor can add to the present array of programs.” – Jones, 41
Jones definitely accomplishes his task with this book: “My goal is not to convince readers that one of these models is better than the others. I do want to equip them with the knowledge needed to discern which model might work best in their congregation.” – 45
“Who is better able to discern the condition of their children’s hearts and to know if true repentance has occurred than those who live with them every day? The home is the best context for discipleship.” – Renfro, 63
“Could it be that family-integrated churches so heavily emphasize traditional family structures that they subtly give non-traditional families the impression they are second-class citizens?” – Strother, 86
“When attempting to reach another culture, there is a fine line between relevance and accommodation.” – Shields, 110
“So many American families are merely a shell of what God created them to be. In such families each family member has personal agendas and schedules; homes are merely pit stops for the washing of clothes, the provision of food, and a few hours of sleep.” – Renfro, 121
“In the typical church it will require significant changes not only in the message communicated to parents but also in the church’s internal paradigms to send a loud and clear message that parents have the primary responsibility for their children’s discipleship.” – Strother, 129
“We must go where they are, preach to them in their language, compel them to come to Jesus, and consistently create attractive environments where persons from any background can grow in their relationship with Jesus.” – Shields, 137
Why must we create attractive environments? That is my area of disagreement with the above statement.
“Family-equipping ministry must represent the congregation’s convictions about the entire nature of church and ministry.” – Strother, 161.
This is not merely a youth ministry question – this is an entire church life question.

My thoughts: I am not a parent. I have been in youth ministry/college ministry/kids ministry now for 15 years. This has given me much view of typical American families. I see failures and successes. Not every teenager that comes out of a intact, Bible-believe home is a radical Christ follower. Not every teen that comes out of a divorced, broken home is a loser who wants nothing to do with Christ. This isn’t a 100% no-fail solution. God is still in charge of radically changing the lives of sinners like me. He called parents though, Christian parents, to disciple their children in the ways of God. The church is called to equip and evangelize. Evangelize the lost, and disciple them to do what they are called to do. One of the things they are called to do, if parents, is to disciple their own children.
Much more is to be discussed on this topic: broken families, single parents, single adults, etc. But…this isn’t my dissertation on the topic of family ministry. This is my response from reading Jones’ book on it.
I am thankful for all 4 authors as three of them have had a personal impact on my life and ministry and all 4, through this book, have made me think.

Colossians 3.16 – Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly.”
21 Jan 2010

Book Review: Shepherding a Child's Heart – Tedd Tripp

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I’ve learned two things (and more) from being in seminary and now having worked/working at 2 seminaries:
1. You can have a lot of practical expertise and not know any theology.
2. You can know TONS of theology and not be able to put it into practice well.

Tedd Tripp has authored a book that is good at both. He gives you the theology behind good parenting; and he gives you very practical follow-through so apply this theology.
What I love about this book: (the above paragraph), I love his humility (he and his wife do not have it all together), and his accomplishment of the task at hand – instructing parents how to not only target their children’s actions, but how to reach their hearts – to shepherd their hearts.
“Your concern is to unmask your child’s sin, helping him to understand how it reflects a heart that has strayed. That leads to the cross of Christ. It underscores the need for a Savior.” (p 6)Tripp spends the first half of the book laying the foundation to parenting, shepherding, Scripture, etc. “You need to direct not simply the behavior of your children, but the attitudes of their hearts.” (p xxi) Then the second half, he gives very practical advice for different stages of child-rearing: toddlers, children, teenagers. I found these extremely helpful – even as I think back about my youth ministry days and think ahead as I volunteer in the church and even babysit. These are great truths and principles to be adopted.
I went to a Christian school from K-12th grade, only missing one semester. I remember a conversation my mom had when we were talking about one of the trouble makers in my grade. She said something to the effect that her parents probably sent her to this school in hopes that they would “straighten her out”. Tripp makes a similar comment in the opening of this book: “They had hoped that school would provide the direction and motivation they had not been able to provide for their daughter.” (p xvii) The school nor the church have been given the role of chief discipler/parent in your child’s life. You have been given that role (see Deut 6).
“You want the values of your home to be scripturally informed.” (p 22) I saw this lived out in my mentor’s home. Scripture was every where. Itunes was on to the latest Christian praise and worship. But that wasn’t all – conversations were lined with biblical thought, ministry was front and center, relationships were key. All pointing to Scripture. Another one of my friends, Kathy, has as her ministry Scripture Pictures, because she wants to get the Word into as many homes as possible. She does beautiful hand drawn Scripture in art. Amazing woman!
My former professor, Dr. Alvin Reid, at SEBTS, says this: “It is vital that we incorporate the gospel into every fabric of our lives. Our interaction with our neighbors should bring glory to God and communicate Christ to those who need him.”
“Parenting is a pervasive task.” (p 33) Recently, I heard a radio interview with Sandra Bullock, star of The Blind Side. She said, “Being a mother is easy, all you have to do is love”. While there may be some truth in that, there are far deeper implications for parenting than just love. I don’t think I have ever heard a parent say that parenting is easy.
Some would say the best way to raise a child is to shelter them from society. Tripp says this: “You must equip your children to function in a culture that has abandoned the knowledge of God. Your objective in every context must be to set a biblical worldview before your children.” (p 45, 6)
“You must bring integrity to your interaction with your children. You model the dynamics of the Christian life for your children. You must let them see sonship with the Father in you. You should show them repentance. Acknowledge your joys and fears and how you find comfort in God. Live a shared life of repentance and thankfulness. Acknowledge your own sin and weakness. Admit when you are wrong. Be prepared to seek forgiveness for sinning against your children. The right to make searching and honest appraisal of your children lies in willingness to do the same for yourself.” (p 91)
“You must address the heart as the fountain of behavior, and the conscience a the God-given judge of right and wrong. The cross of Christ must be the central focus of your child rearing. God’s standard is correct behavior flowing from a heart that loves God and has God’s glory as the sole purpose of life. That is not native to your children (nor to their parents).” (p. 120)
“Whatever you do will require patience. It is hard for a family to change its direction. What is ahead of you is a matter of spiritual struggle against the forces of evil. There is more to it than applying some principles. Pray; seek God’s help. Wait on God. Study the Scriptures with your children. Try to take them along with you on your spiritual pilgrimage. Share with them what you’re learning and why changes in your family life are important.” (p 158)
“If you never address the character, you will never get beyond bare obedience.” (p 163)
“The primary context for parental instruction is set forth in Deuteronomy 6. It is the ordinary context of daily living. Your children see the power of a life of faith as they see you living it. You do not need to be perfect, you simply need to be people of integrity who are living life in the rich, robust truth of the Word of God.” (p 192)

With every book there are drawbacks:
1. All the illustrations. They are great, but for some they will try to live out these truths and principles in the exact same way – or they won’t be able to live these out at all because they won’t get past the illustration. Way to succeed: ask God how you need to apply these truths to your family, don’t rely on the family of the Tripps to be successful.
2. “God intends for parenting to be a temporary task.” (p 210) I disagree with this statement. Yes, you might not discipline them the same or help them make every decision, but my parents are still my parents. They help me in many ways: to make wise decisions, to give me advice, to help financially some, to be friends with; but they are still my parents.

This book is very helpful. If you haven’t read it, please do.

Colossians 3.16 – Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly.”