Point Life to Wisdom

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 Two words I love right now: point and wisdom. 

Point: an end or object to be achieved

Wisdom: the fear of the Lord (Prov 1.7)

As I sit to breakfast each morning, I’ve been reading through the Proverbs, a chapter corresponding to the day of the month.  This morning’s reading was incredible rich.  I thought I would share the scribbles as we live our lives under the Gospel.

What do I want to be: (only by the grace of God since there is nothing good in me and I can’t do this on my own)

1.  I want to walk in whole speech.  See: Col.4, Dt 30.19-20, Eph 5.  Titus 2 tells us to not be slanderers.  In DeYoung’s book he lists Question 112 from the Heidelberg Catechism on the 9th commandment.  This is the answer: “God’s will is that I never give false testimony against anyone, twist no one’s words, not gossip or slander, nor join in condemning anyone without a hearing or without a just cause.  I should love the truth, speak it candidly, and openly acknowledge it.  And I should do what I can to guard and advance my neighbor’s good name.”  More than that – I want my speech to always be gracious.  I want there to be something in my speech that offers the grace of Christ to everyone I meet – in everything I say.

2.  I want to have pure desires.  I see this a lot in movies, in the lives of young girls, etc.  They see something, they desire to have it, and they go after it without much thinking or prayer or seeking advice (see James 1).  How many times have I done this?  Let my desires be known and start day-dreaming about these desires without even really knowing what I’m desiring.  I pray this directly over my thought life, my heart and mind, this morning over a pb toast.

3.  I want to be quick to forgive.  This weekend I hung out with a family with 3 young children.  The mom said something to me, highlighting a grace trait of her eldest: he is quick to forgive, he shows me more of the gospel that way than I show him.  We, as selfish and sinful people, long to hold on to grudges.  I recount wrongs done to me in the past as a form of self-righteousness or illustration.  In many cases, I have forgiven the person – but by this action I am not practicing #1 and I am not letting the person live in the grace of Christ and the power of the gospel (Rom 8.1)

4.  I want to not be quarrelsome.  When anyone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, they usually got two answers: Barbara Mandrell or a lawyer.  I can sing and I can argue.  But, when I look at the traits for a wife, or even a child or Christian – we are not to be quarrelsome.  I don’t even like being around quarrelsome people, its irritating and makes me shrink back and get quiet.  I don’t like it.  So, why do I allow it in myself. 

5.  I want to be prudent.  I asked for prayer for this this morning in staff meeting.  M-W gives the definition as  skill and good judgment in the use of resources.  This is very broad – but here we go: wise use of food, of money, of time, of brain function, of skills and traits, or relationships.  All of these are resources.  How are you being good stewards (another fave word lately)?

6.  I want to be a listener to advice and an accepter of instruction.  This is undergirded with having wise advisors.  We shouldn’t take advice from everyone, because some will give us poor advice: (especially if we get all of our advice on family, relationships, food, religion from popular talk shows and magazines).  On a plane one time I sat ready Redbook I think.  Reading an article on relationships.  I felt crappy after that – not wanting to even get married or ever have sex.  (Note to self, don’t read this stuff).  But, I got off the plane and called friends who spoke wisdom and encouragement from a God-bent that guarded me against the fiery darts of the Enemy.  And I am surrounded by people now in life that speak truth and the gospel into my life at every stage.  So, by being shaped by them and their impacting me with the gospel – I in turn change and shape and pour into others – by the Impact and in the strength of the Gospel.

7.  I desire steadfast love.  Jonah 2.8-9 has been on my bathroom mirror almost since I arrived in RDU.  This has been something I cling to and desire to push towards (and most times doing a lousy job in some areas).  I can’t cling to worthless idols and have steadfast love.  God is SO GRACIOUS to me in this.  I can not live up to His example.  That is a good place for me to be – for me to know that about myself.  He is the only one.  I can push to live by the work of the Spirit to offer that steadfast love to others.

8.  I want to REST SATISFIED (v 23).  Striving, working, pushing, that is not rest.  This tells me how I can rest satisfied: in the fear of the Lord.  Knowing that God is God, I am not, I am sinful man, but He has made a way for me to know Him and be known by Him – the CROSS of CHRIST.  And for that, and in that, I can rest satisfied.  Even when I fail everyday at something.  Christ has completed the task.

Day and Night

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Something new…being obedient to all the Psalms that command us to meditate both day and night on the Word.
Psalm 1 is a good place to start.
Well, I am finally obeying it. In his strength, for His glory in my life, mind, heart, and then eventually hopefully in the lives of others, in my writing, and in the world…the Word takes root.
Here is the plan: simple. I read a Psalm before going to bed – helping me rejoice in the day and worship the One who made it. A proverb before going about my day – wanting wisdom, practical ways I can live in obedience today.
Random ways this has been good: day 1 I was able to text a verse to a friend who is praying through many different options for her life right now. It was a good verse for her – Prov 1.33. Psalm 1 helped me remember why I needed to do this in the first place. Ps 3 – last night I fell asleep on the couch and I dreamed about people being able to break into my screen door from my porch. I woke up, went to bed, reading Ps 3 about dwelling in safety and Him providing sound sleep. God is wonderful.
This morning: feeling horrible from my Italian dinner last night both in mind and in body – I read Prov 3. I thanked God for his mercies, grace, forgiveness, and a new day. Here are some wys that is evident to me in that proverb:
1. Do not forget teaching (mind, I know what I need to eat, not eat to live my body in a way glorifying to God), but heart keep commands (but I crave in my heart things that aren’t good for me). But I need to remember that the heart is deceitful and above all desparately wicked.
2. Steadfast love and faithfulness need to be how I relate to everyone I come in contact with: to find favor and good success with men.
3. If I turn away from my own wisdom (and worthless rationale) and seek the wisdom that comes from God (which is found in this Book), then it will bring healing to my flesh and refreshment to my bones. Do you take the Word literally. Most people claim that the Word has nothing really to say about health and our bodies and what we do we them or how we treat them by what we intake. We live this out in most of our churches actually. In most of our homes. But, this passage: Prov 3.7-8 speaks to just that. If we turn away from seeking our own wisdom and evil things (over eating, indulgent and seeking our worth in food) then it will bring healing to our bones, refreshment to our bodies. I love that promise!
4. Honor the Lord with your wealth…here is a recapture of Mal 3. God is blessing me in many ways and I’ve seen the truth of this played out in my life. Neat how God says He will reward obedience – and He really does. When He tells us to “test him in this” (Mal 3) He actually will come through. That is the amazing God we serve.
5. Do not grow tired of His reproof: I even was so glad He gave me an upset stomach this morning and wiggly vision last night (after eating so much white pasta and white bread). This is part of his reproof in my life for overeating and not heading my body and how He has made it. I want to be obedient in this way. I desire the Lord’s correction in that.
6. He blesses the dwelling of the righteous. This last proverb in chapter 3 brought to mind two others. Often times we’ll see signs that “Bless This House” – sorta the welcome sign on most southern doors. But, do we think about this verse. He blesses the home of the righgteous. I think in light of Proverbs and preceeding verses he is talking about those who make righteous choices and seek wisdom and understanding. But, also and most importantly…our righteousness is found in Christ – we must abide there. If we abide there, part A will come.

Do you meditate on Scripture day and night – do you see it impacting your day?

Death is Dead and other Real Thoughts

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This is not a blog post particularly on Easter, I am just writing it on Easter Sunday afternoon – so some of it has come from thinking on this day.
A lot has taken place in the last week.
True Woman Conference 10 in Chattanooga
Moving out of Louisville, KY and leaving a job I’ve loved for 2.7 years
Moving back HOME to Raleigh, NC. I love the Triangle.
Driving 9 hours with a great friend following my Dad.
Being welcomed by so many to Providence Baptist Church.
Worshipping this morning for Easter at my new church home and not feeling like a guest.
These are some of my thoughts on that:
1. The unconditional love of God the Father. I learned that this week more. I guess it was on Friday morning, I was getting ready to head to get my hair cut, fixing breakfast for Dad and I. He said “I know it may not always seem it, but I love you.” I replied, “I don’t know why, I don’t always show it back to you.” Right as soon as those words came out of my mouth, I knew that I had in a sense declared the gospel to my Dad. God the Father loves me unconditionally – all the time, even when I don’t see it, don’t feel it, or definitely don’t deserve it. He loves me during the times I disrespect him, ignore him, don’t want to spend time with Him, etc.
2. The Body of Christ. This wins out over Facebook. I had a amazing help by 6 guy friends in the ville for moving me out so quickly – 45 minutes. And Rachael pretty much hands down cleaned my whole apt as I was directing the guys and saying my goodbyes. But, earlier in the week I had no clue how I was going to get all my stuff in my apt. I had very little help. By the time I got to the apt on Tuesday, I had about 10 people helping – and we finished it in about 25 minutes. Some were friends, some only stayed 5 minutes because there wasn’t anything else to be done, but the peeps who did most of the work were people I didn’t even know. They just wanted to help. This, my friends, is what the Body does for other members of the Body – and to people not in the Body.
3. “Death is dead.” I love this line from a Getty song. I mean think about it. If the wages of sin is dead – then it is dead. Dead. Not half alive, not in a coma. The empty tomb conquered death for us for eternity. Does that mean we still won’t sin? No. But, it means that sin has no more dominion over us. When I struggle with the sin of impatience, overeating, laziness, comparison, judgmentalism, coveting, pride, putting Christ last – He has won all those and I need no longer struggle with them. My Mom was talking about this on the phone while I was traveling home. All we have is Christ – as the New Attitude band song says.
4. We have victory every day. Pastor David preached on this this morning. We have victory over sin on Easter. But, we also have victory over sin on Monday, on January 3, on Dec 25, on July 16 – 365 days a year. There is not a day where we should live in the defeated dejection of sin. Christ’s love is better than that life.
5. We are all sinners. As I was loving on babies this morning at the 930 hour – I had some cute ones. It was very interesting to see them during snack time. We laid out a sheet and sat them all down, poured cheerios in front of them. They immediately looked at what the other kids received and went for their’s. I guarantee their parents haven’t trained them to be stealers, coveting, envious, prideful, selfish toddlers. No. But, sin is by nature. This is why we have to teach the gospel so early! We are by nature all sinners, deserving of death, being loved and shown mercy by a gracious God. PTL. And just for the record, I enjoyed holding Rachel and Judah in my lap for most of time. Judah – that kid – gotta love him. We snuggled!
6. I have loved most parts of my life the past 2.7 years. Louisville – the friends, the job, and the restaurants – will definitely be missed. I have great friends there. But, there are other parts that won’t be missed so much – that were extremely hard.
7. God has graciously blessed. The last 6 months in this transition have been hard at time, but most of the time I have seen and known the peace of God and known His blessing and hand of direction on this! I will see a dream fulfilled tomorrow – a prayer request I’ve had for 7 years (since graduating seminary). Even as I look out my porch right now – knowing there is pollen covering my car, knowing there will be tough times, knowing that there will be many times I will feel lonely and over my head, overwhelmed by the task at hand. I do know that God’s hand and glory all over this. I can’t wait.
I look forward to seeing what my life looks like – as it is lived out for his glory. Thankful for the cross!

Personal Reflection on Girls Gone Wise

posted in: Women | 1

This past week I’ve spent much of my time reading Mary Kassian’s new book Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild. As most of my close friends know, I’m not a huge reader of “women only” books because I find them to be only geared to certain women or I find them to be fluffy. I am not a fluffy girls’ book reader.
This was not a fluffy book and it was geared toward all women – no matter the stage of life she is in! And, it was AMAZING (only better if it were shorter). I was convicted by this book many times. And it seemed as if I thought of one thing – she brought it up in the next paragraph. Very odd – but very cool as well.
Here are some personal thoughts on the Spirit’s work in my life through this book. I will definitely be re-reading it – and will hopefully have a chance to lead some girls through it in the future.
1. I am not amenable, at least not in my heart. I like to control a situation, I like to know what is going on, and though I may be “glad” to go along with other plans on the outside, it is a heart struggle. God is working on this in my life. “An amenable woman gladly foregoes personal desires and preferences to honor that authority. (Contrast #4). I think I do that, planning around other’s likes and dislikes and preferences, but I still want to be in control. I don’t want to be like this: “A brazen, defiant attitude stands in stark contrast to the soft receptiveness that the Lord intended for women.” (#4). Like I said, this may be done on the outside, but its the heart that matters.
2. I clearly see the effect of sin in this book on women’s lives; it is a sad affair. “So many of us are living with the brokenness, dysfunction, pain, and confusion, that comes from having gone wild.” The cure: the Gospel. (intro)
3. “The more a woman’s heart is seized with affection for Jesus, the more her life will be transformed to walk in his ways.” (#1) It has to start with the heart. I can definitely tell a difference in my life if I have spent way too much time watching TV/movies/internet and not any time reading the Word. My thoughts and contentrations and shortness of temper are definitely off the mark. I saw this marked in a girl’s life just last night. You could tell in how she talked about her Jesus that she loved Him and the feelings were mutual! 🙂
4. “The second adjective describing the Proverbs 7 woman is translated wayward. The Hebrew word means to be stubborn and rebellious. It reflects a defiant, self-willed, obstinate, nobody tells me what to do frame of mind. (#4, Ez 20.38, Ps 78.8). God has already been working this in me. But, I also pick it up in girls more easily now than before. I work in the lounge of the women’s dorm on campus here at SBTS. It has given me opportunity to get to know some of them. I can tell though in some of them that they are defiant and loud and not calm and gentle. This makes me sad. Honestly.
5. “Homeward faced, wisdom graced; out to the max, wisdom lacks.” (#5) I loved this. I can clearly see that my focus needs to be on home. The past few weeks haven’t been that for me in the midst of packing, hanging out with friends, etc – and I have missed that. I love my home (ok, my 800 square foot apt), but I love having folks over, tending to home, being satisfied with being in my quiet apt. This is where God has called women – whether a family, single, kids, etc. We see this in the commands for what older women are to teach younger women (Titus 2).
6. “She’s happy when she has a new prospect on the horizon and the hunt is going well” (#6). Mary talks here of a woman’s focus. I will admit that when there is a prospect of a cute godly guy in my path, I’m going to get dressed differently in the morning, wear makeup if I’m going out where I might see him, etc. There is an added spring to my step. But, why? Why don’t I do this everyday because I’m loved by my Saviour?
7. Body Language – #8. I have seen this all too often in the girls’ dorm too – mainly this has been my interaction with college girls the past 3 years. They are playful in tossing the hair, sitting on guys’ laps, sitting on the arm of the chair he is sitting in, giggling profusely, sometimes dressing inappropriately. I want to film them, then have a movie night and play it along side the reading of this book. I have also been convicted of watching these same tendencies in my own life and interaction with every male that I come in contact with, work with, see in stores, etc.
8. Roles #9 – if you want a good quick chapter overview of the basics of CBMW Gender Roles – read this chapter. Nuf said!
9. Another one of the big hits for me: “Restraining words means that you don’t have to have an opinion on everything. You don’t have to comment on everything that happens. You don’t have to answer every question. You don’t have to constantly make your thoughts known. You don’t have to be proved right. You don’t have to show off your superior knowledge. You don’t have to constantly offer advice.” (#17). As most of you know I am quite opinionated. I feel this has also gotten less in the last few years. It is partly due to male leadership in my life the last few years and also the working of the Spirit. I noticed a few times this week even that I practiced this – and you know, it was ok that I didn’t express my opinion but instead kept my mouth shut.
I started to get discouraged in my actions and heartitude by page 105. Then I read the next paragraph:
“Given my own strength and willpower, my ability to life a self-disciplined life is extremely limited. That’s why I need to depend on my Helper. Success is a matter of depending on the Holy Spirit and not on my own capacity.” (#5). Remember, living a life pleasing to God isn’t done on your own merits – but on the merit of Christ. That’s why we celebrate EASTER!

Undisciplined Life

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My life this past week has (for the most part) been very undisciplined.
Most people would not see that as an issue, but for me, if one area gets out of “disipline” than all of them seem to fall.
Think it started with being sick, so my eating, sleeping, and exercise got out of whack. Being sick and tired I didn’t go to church last weekend (I was supposed to head to Nashville). That didn’t give me the encouragement from being around the Body. My reading in B90x has been off so this weekend I am playing catch up. My house is very out of sorts with boxes everywhere. I have been sleeping on my very very comfy couch, which isn’t a problem, because actually I’ve been sleeping better. I’ve been reading, but not as every day as I need to be. My exercise has been off because of the weather, or staying late to work, or stress at work and just not having the energy when I get off.
This wknd won’t be normal: snow, housing office, power yoga session (can’t wait), hanging with a family, 2 morning services (one to be in a toddler’s class, one for church), lunch with a pastor and his family, Super Bowl, sleeping at a friend’s house after the big game.
So…now I have the task of getting my life back on track – my whole life. Wow – this is a big undertaking – and it has really only been a week! I am a firm believer that every area of life affects the other parts:
Even though I can never be an Elder in the church, I still want some of the qualifications to be seen in my life: (Titus 1)
If anyone is above reproach…as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.

I Fear

posted in: sin | 0

I love weekend trips that turn into so much more than you ever thought they would be. I was anticipating just a fun, cold weekend in Chicago, a little bit of work, good food, and fun times with Janel. God had other things in mind.
On the drive up (a 5 hour jaunt up 65/94) I could sense the Spirit was doing a work in my life. God has been doing some heart surgery lately in my life – and I anticipate it continuing for the next few months.
I had no traffic until I got about 20 exits away from where I needed to be and STOP. Don’t know what happened but does one ever know what happens to cause traffic jams in the early afternoon of a Saturday? So…I was a little late. Even then God was busy working.
So, I text some friends just to be praying as God was doing his work, and He continued right through the weekend. Janel had the Esther DVD from Beth Moore – I watched a bit of it. Through watching that, reading the end of Deuteronomy and the beginning of Joshua, and talking with a friend who I can be completely real with…two truths about my life came out.
I Fear.
I Fear A LOT!

Beth Moore pretty much said this. If ________, then ___________. Let me fill it in. If I eat too much, then I will gain weight. If I gain weight, then I won’t be cool anymore. If I am not cool anymore, than I will be lonely. You get my drift. She said basically your logic had to be
“If __________, then GOD. It always had to be God in that second blank. If not, then something is amiss.
And that tied into something I heard recently – whatever you fear – that is your god. So, let me do some sentences for you….
I fear getting the dream job, because I fear failing at it (or not being OUTSTANDING at it.
(god = success)
I fear gaining weight, because I won’t be a role model to other girls and I won’t be attractive or be successful in ministry. (god = self image, pride)
I fear rejection by friends, because then that will mean something is wrong with me because they don’t like to be around me anymore. (god = friendships)
I fear never getting married, because someone won’t love me enough, and like me enough, to commit the rest of his life to me. (god = marriage, relationships).
I fear failure, because I have to be good at what I do (god = success).
I fear people getting to know me, because what if they just like me at a distance, then once they get to know me, they don’t like me anymore (god = people, popularity).

Beth said something else. Sometimes we fear not getting married because we don’t want to be alone. But, then we fear marriage because what if we get it and its not as great as we always dreamed or we screw it up somehow? I fear not getting that dream job, then I fear getting it because what if I am not good at it and people don’t like what I do?

Do you hear these statements? Do you see what brought me to tears this weekend?
I trust in other things besides the God of the Universe!
Here are some verses (it is so often used in Scripture):
Numbers 14 – “The Lord is with you, do not fear.”
Dt. 31 – “The Lord will be with you and won’t forsake you, do not fear.”
Ps 118 -“The Lord is on my side, therefore I will not fear.”
Jere 42 – “Do not fear them, declares the Lord, for I am with you.”
Joel 2 – “Fear not, but rejoice and be glad, for the Lord has done great things.”
Matt 10 – “Do not fear those who can kill the body, but cannot kill the soul.”
Heb 13: “The Lord is my helper, I will not fear, for what can man do to me?”

Basically, in my reading….If I trust and obey, if I obey the greatest commandment, then I will not fear. If I am fearing, then I am not obeying. I need to obey.

What do you fear?

Thoughts on Finishing Well

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Last night, in my reading of the b90x plan, I was in the latter part of Numbers. Now, Numbers isn’t a thrilling book as a whole, but there are definitely nuggets of truth and thought provoking circumstances that God wants us to know to change us – sanctify us – make us more like Him. Here are some of the players:
Nadab and Abihu – dead because of unpleasing worship to the LORD
Moses – leader of the people, but now who can’t enter Canaan because he didn’t listen and fully obey the Lord.
Joshua – the chosen person to lead the people of the Lord into Canaan because the Spirit was in him.
Israelites – punished and wandering for 40 years, current generation not able to go into Promised Land because of sin, angered the Lord because of their idolatry and ungratefulness.

While watching some NCAA hoops last night, I thought of some sports figures who are in the media right now:
Lane Kiffin – after only one disappointing season in the best college football conference, he is now going back to the west coast. 1 season.
Tiger Woods – definitely known for being probably the best modern golfer in the world (note, I said modern). Now, is plastered on every magazine in the checkout aisle because of his unfaithfulness to his wife.
Mark McGwire– fabulous heavy hitter in the Major Leagues for so many years. Kids worshipped him, wanted to be like him in every way. Now, admitting that he cheated and pumped his body full of steroids so he could live up to all the hype.

Some illustrations from people in my own life, of how they live:
2 pastors – known to everyone they meet for their humility – not for books they have written or the church they pastor.
My mentor – known to me as a woman of the Word and prayer.
A former co-worker and (still) friend: one word to describe him: humble.
2 other pastors – I would describe as faithful.

After contemplating this during a run and then journaling about it while watching the Gator game last night, here were my two questions I posed to myself:
1. What do I want to be remembered for?
2. What would they write about me if I was to be included in the SBTS Coffee Table Book?

A friend of mine in Louisville comments that the only things I do are exercise, food, tv, and church. There probably is some reality to that – but that is only a portion of the story. And – do I really want to be known for those 4 things? Goodness – no.
But, then the Spirit stopped me in my writing – my brain continued to function – and said to me this:
Who cares if the world remembers Kim Davidson – you are not important – I am. So, after more reading and journaling:
CS Lewis: Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.” I am definitely then one of the most prideful people I know.
Apostle John: “He must increase, I must decrease.” (John 3.3)

I heard a wise man talk on Sunday about finishing well. It must be done. What will your life be marked by?
“Spirit – craft in me less of KD, more of Jesus. Out of the heart – so I do. Work in me Jesus so Jesus can be shown and known in everything I do.” – Amen

Birthday Musings

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(The two pictures were of: a few days before my 32nd bday, and the bottom, yesterday).
Oh, birthdays. Here is it again. I never get concerned about the numbers getting larger, and never eat a whole bday cake to blow out the candles anymore, however, I do use this day as one for contemplation (and fun).
So, many of you say that the one thing you appreciate about me is my honesty, so here goes…
Starting with something good. Ending with something good.
1. God is so good to me. I just finished praying that as I read an email from a friend, wished in someways that my life was like hers, than very grateful that my life is the way God made it and designed for it to be at this moment.
“May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face to shine upon us.” – Ps 67.1
2. Solo pictures. FB does this – I promise you! (and yes, I really do love facebook). And my pride does this as well. May God crush that. I hate solo shots. I went to lunch with 2 friends today for my bday and wanted a shot of me at Red Robin. why? To see how I looked. What did I find out – I look alone. My Mom wanted a picture of me for the mantle, my brother took several, they turned out well, but there I will be in a frame by myself. For senior pictures it was ok, but gone are the days of senior pictures.
3. Our bodies age. Ladies – wouldn’t you have loved to be have been Eve (pre-fall)? I mean, come on…walking around naked for the joy of your husband without anything sagging, no gray hairs, no anything out of place, nothing sore, nothing on the mend, no wrinkles, no bags under the eyes, no chin hairs to pull out, no waxing to do. Oh, what joy that would have been. But, the fall. It happened. Eve had to eat. Now, we deal with all these things as we age. And going back to #2, I won’t ever look “prime” for my husband (if God has chosen for me one). I was reminded of that this morning as I was getting ready. In the next 10 years (if the Lord tarries), my eyesight will get worse, I’ll have more gray hair (or spend more money coloring it), will have to spend more on waxing (or become the freak woman at the fair with the beard) – (side note, woman, you all know what I’m talking about). Our bodies are not meant to last forever. This is the effect of sin on us. God has, though, redeemed our bodies and our souls. We are one. I have no clue what our bodies will look like in the afterlife, but I’m glad I won’t have to have a pair of tweezers with me – or concealer.
4. I got a card in the mail from my parents (always signed by my mother, I know): “Parents do not realize when their daughter is a child, how fleeting the moments truly are. And in the blink of an eye the little girl who did pirouettes down the hall is dancing her way through her own life. What a joy it was then, what a joy it is now, what a joy it will always be – having you for a daughter!” Yes, I teared. I wonder though – yes, I know parents are supposed to say that, but then time at home is so different than it is here, we fuss, argue, communicate wrongly, have longings and expectations that aren’t met. I want my parents to always say this of me: “Let your father and mother be glad, let her who bore you rejoice.” Prov 23.25
5. Time is so fleeting. Things are fleeting. Like today – I was so looking forward to eating Red Robin with some friends. 59 fat grams and 740 calories later (I left off bun, mayo, and only ate half of the fries with my bacon cheeseburger) it was gone. Was life any better? No. I just felt yuck for eating all of it (the fries were amazing though). This day is fleeting. Things that I make for people are fleeting, all will rot. Why do I tend to place so much emphasis on things in life. People are more important. I think back to the last few hours I was in Lakeland this time. I wanted to run over (across the pasture) to see my grandparents on our way to Orlando. Christmas Day wasn’t the best for family communication, so I wanted to at least end our time on a happy note. My granny was sitting there shelling pecans, my papa was in his chair reading the paper. I thought to myself, if something happens, I may never see my Papa alive again. To my knowledge he is not a believer (by his own testimony). I cry everytime I leave his sight, and even now as I am writing this. He is such an incredibly gracious man. He taught me to fish, drive a boat, pick grapes, clean a fish, make homemade french fries, and corned beef hash. All those are really important things – right? Not as important as knowing Jesus. The Preacher said a lot of it: “Vanity of vanities…all is vanity. What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun?” – Ecc 1.2,3 It is all vanity.
6. I finished Genesis this morning. In 4 days I’ve read from Creation to the end of Joseph’s life. I actually liked reading it in this little amount of time because you don’t forget things. I saw many similar topics in Genesis: blessing, presence, covenant, obedience, guidance. “When the sun had gone down and it was dark, behold a smoking fire pot and a flaming torch passed between these pieces.” Genesis 15.17 (If you don’t know the story behind that verse I chose, please ask me, it was one that makes me cry every time I read it). You know what I remember…my God is very good to me. He created me to have a relationship with him, than…when I messed it up…He pursues me to continue that relationship. (I love the book of Hosea for this very reason.) He called out to Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, their mothers, he cries out to me even now. I am so thankful that I have a God who created me in His image, loves me with an everlasting covenantal love, and will never forsake me – even when I am faithless. Praise be to God for another year.
7. And just to let you know – I’m really looking forward to this year. Its going to be amazing. God is so faithful to me. He is so incredibly gracious to me. I look forward to seeing fruit bear in my life from being in His presence. And God has given me gracious and wonderful friends, for whom I am very thankful. All for God’s glory, right! “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” – James 1.17