17 Jun 2015

Friendship in the Real World

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Over the past few years with the pick up in social media sites, I fear that more people (mostly women I’m writing about here) are better friends with the people on their social media networks than they are with people in their daily lives.  I am not saying those online friendships are bad, I just want to make the case that they are insufficient.

I would say that the main way I see this dominating the circles I follow are online Bible studies.  Again, I’m not saying these are bad – I’m just saying they are insufficient.  You can only be so real with people you only know through a computer (that’s why I think there are great problems with online dating).  The good thing about these online Bible studies is that you study the Word and you get to know people…but that can’t take the place of real life Bible studies if you have access to good ones.

Neither can these online friendships take the place of real life friends.  Since I’ve traveled a lot and moved a bit since being an adult, I have plenty of my best friends that don’t live in my immediate area.  Social media is definitely a way I keep up with them and know what’s going on in their lives – and they know how they can pray, encourage, and help me along in my sanctification process by loving me and loving the Gospel.

I’ve been reading a surprisingly good book A Friend in Me by Pamela Havey Lau.  It is about friendship – but more importantly, an older generation of women being grace-imparting friends to younger women.  Sounds very much like Titus 2.  I found this book for women to be refreshing because its deeper than most books on friendship.  This has been a convicting read to me in getting to know knew women, continuing relationships with women I already know, pursuing Gospel love with them, encouraging them in whatever stage of life God has them in right now, and even in my parenting and imparting the Gospel to my boys who are so little.

Thankful for this book on friendship, real life friends, and yes, social media where I can keep up with all my friends spread throughout the world.

I received this book from LitFuse in exchange for a review.  All opinions are my own.

13 Jun 2015

heart.hope.justice adoption: Aaron and Lisa Tant

by | posted in: hearthopejustice | 1

Tant Family

Here is another way that heart.hope.justice gets to support families who are loving orphans!

I’ve known Aaron Tant for about ten years (and his wonderful family).  I met Lisa when they moved to Louisville and I got to know them when we were all attending Sojourn Church there.

Here is a brief synopsis of their story:

Aaron and I have been married for 9 years this July and we have two children, Elias, who is almost 7, and Sophia, who is 4.  We have always had a heart for children with special needs and we desired to one day adopt a child with special needs. A few weeks ago a friend who is a social worker made us aware of a child who will soon be available for adoption. In order to be consider to be this child’s adoptive parents, we must become licensed foster parents in our state and we must get our home ready for the required home study. The biggest priority is remodeling the basement. Currently we have a guest room on our main floor which will need to become this child’s room. That means that our basement, that is partially finished but not a very pleasant place, needs to be remodeled into a functioning guest space. We would also like to open up our kitchen to accommodate more people. Another large purchase we will need to make is a mini-van. We are currently working to raise money to cover the costs. Our goal is to raise enough money to purchase an appropriate vehicle and do the necessary renovations in our home. Then if there is any money left over we will use that money to pay down our debt. We want to be the best stewards of our resources so that we can best care for our children, and we feel that getting rid of our debt is one way to do that.

 

You can support them by heading over to the heart.hope.justice page and taking a look at the print and then sending me an email (kimddavidson@gmail.com) and tell me what color cardstock you want your print in.  The ink will be black, but I can vary the cardstock color.  The prints are 5.7 and 16$  10$ of every sale will go directly to the Tant family and the rest will go to printing, shipping, and supply cost.  I make nothing.

 

8 Jun 2015

Healthy Families

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I was supposed to write this blog a few days ago, but time got the best of me – and I was out enjoying my family – so here it is.

Even though we were an active family growing up: sports, fishing trips, playing baseball and basketball in our yard, ballet, etc – we didn’t eat healthy.  My brother was the more active one and had a much higher metabolism than me, but I didn’t.  And my body definitely showed all the southern foods that we ate a lot of.

I remember being chubby by the time I was in 3rd grade.  Man, I hate that picture in the yearbook.  But, I stayed overweight.  I remember buying a size 12 dress pants to wear to school to fit the school dress code at my Christian school that I attended.  I played volleyball and had that baby fat white (no tan) look in all the team photos.  I even cheered, and I still have my cheerleading uniform to try it on every now and then.

But, even though I was active, the food I ate didn’t warrant a healthy lifestyle.  Going to the corner convenient store almost every summer night to get a pm snack to eat while watching the Mets play baseball.  Once I could drive I would drive over to McDs and get a Big Mac meal for dinner after the school activities.  When we would go to Chilis after basketball games I chose the most fattening thing on the menu – the chicken crispers with fries and corn – at 10pm!  No wonder I came close to 200lbs by the time I graduated high school.

I’ve struggled with weight and addiction to food and a gluttony and laziness in regards to food.  My heart and compassion and eagerness to love and guide goes out to every overweight person – but especially those in elementary and high school.

That’s why I wanted to read Who’s the New Kid by Heidi Bond.  It is a story of her daughter’s struggle with weight in elementary school and how she lost weight, changed eating habits, and became active.  What I did like about the book was the recipes and activities and the eager outlook that things can change.  You don’t always have to be heavy.

I think I would approach fitness and health with a family member differently – but everyone, no matter the situation, should look at each situation with compassion and knowledge, and seek to counsel in love and truth.  No situation is the same.

My boys are going to be really tall.  They are going to be boys.  I don’t want them to be overweight.  I want them to be active and healthy.  I feed my boys yummy desserts, but also greens and fruit and grilled meats.  They run and play every day.  Balance is good!  I want to cook them healthy foods – but not swear off doughtnuts and macaroni and cheese.

(I received this book from Litfuse in exchange for a review.  All opinions are my own.)

 

8 Jun 2015

This Week in the Charming South Kitchen

by | posted in: The Charming South Kitchen | 0

My parents are here this week so we are both eating out and cooking more than normal.

This is going in the crockpot for my Dad’s Father’s Day meal – with some southern greens cooked with bacon.

Going to make banana pudding cheesecake for this dessert.

Making a quinoa detox salad.  This looks so yummy and fresh and full of variety.

When people come in town to visit – what do you like to make?  How also do you encourage people to an overall way of eating that is healthy?

 

 

3 Jun 2015

Daddy Loves You So Much

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Daddy Loves You So Much

You know when you are supposed to do a book review for a giveaway in May and you can’t find the book because your children love it so much that they’ve hidden it somewhere?  Yup, that’s me.  Thanks Tommy Nelson for the book.

I did find the book stuffed under a car seat in the car.  The Daddy Loves You So Much book.

This is a companion book to one that came out a couple of months ago – Mommy Loves You So Much.  So glad they didn’t leave the daddies out!

Daddy-life gets a bad rap.  I am so glad that they didn’t leave us hanging wondering if the daddies loved their little boys and girls.  My husband definitely does.

I’m so glad that Fathers Day is coming up because it is a great day that my husband gets to celebrate being a daddy to those little boys of his.  HE loves to give them their baths at night (when he’s home), he usually gets up the boys in the morning so he can have some time with them before he goes to work.  He works selling pianos right now and loves to have them come play some pianos at the store and then help him sweep up the store at the end of the day.

This book is full of wonderful illustrations and lovely created father-son/daughter animal characters.  It is a durable board book perfect for those lap-reading sessions at the end of the day.  My boys definitely love to read this one in the car looking at all the beautiful animals.  (Since they can’t read yet).

This book definitely is a great celebration of fathers.  If you would like a copy of this book – perfect for Father’s Day coming up – just leave a note either here or on Facebook about one way you love watching your baby’s daddy interact with your children – or if you are a daddy – how you love to interact with your kids!

29 May 2015

Fear and Faith : a book for every woman

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Fear and Faith

There haven’t been many books I’ve come across, geared toward women, that I think apply to all women.  May be a few by Elyse Fitpatrick, but that’s about it.  Most books for women are geared toward marriage, singleness, motherhood, etc.  This new book from Moody Publishers by Trillia Newbell (who works for the ERLC) is one book that I would highly recommend to every single woman to read.

Why?  Because we all fear.  We may not like to admit we fear – but we all do.  I will post my official review later, but suffice it to say that Trillia states her case and successfully writes about it – and points us to the gospel in all things with this book.  I want to interact personally with this book here.

I don’t think I would ever consider myself a fearful person – until I got married.  I think the closeness to other people brings that out – because there is more a fear of loss.  Before I got married I lived by myself in my own apt, I moved gladly around to different countries, I was actually quite independent – though I did have close relationships.  Now, I hate it when my mister is gone and its just me in the house with my two littles.  I have trouble falling asleep and I have to quote verses to myself in order to calm my heart.

My biggest struggle is fear of man.  I think I’ve known this tendency since I was little – but not until I came more into a relationship with Christ did I fully understand my need for salvation in this area.  A pastor recommended an Ed Welch book for me to read about 10 years ago.  So convicting – but so filled with hope that God has a special plan for our lives so we don’t have to be chained to sin in this area.

That’s what Trillia does in every area!  She lists out many fears that women struggle with ranging from tragedy, the future, to physical appearance and sexual intimacy.  In every single chapter – I was convicted by some of her thoughts (totally based in Scripture backed up by personal experience – not the other way around) – and I was placed gently in the hands of the Almighty who doesn’t want me to fear but wants me to trust completely in Him.

I see this in my marriage a lot.  This idea of us being consumed with the opinions of others (pg 24).  I always want to know what my mister thinks of my outfit, the food I cooked, etc.  I want him to realize that I cleaned this or that and am always looking for his approval.

Right now my mister and I are not in a place of surety – meaning I don’t think we are going to be in this place in life for a long time so we feel kinda in limbo.  So, when I don’t have a vision for the future and don’t know how long it will be till we see that vision – its scary.  This book has taught me that I don’t trust God enough in this area.  I like to be in control.

I read the chapter on appearance (am I pretty enough) the wknd I finally lost all the baby weight.  I was so excited.  I mean my second son just turned 20 months old.  Its been a long time coming.  Newbell reminded me that while I should take care of my body because God desires me to – I shouldn’t focus on my looks to an extreme amount nor should I find my identity in the numbers on the scale.

Giveaway: Moody has graciously said they would give a copy of this book to a reader.  Here is how you enter: what one verse to do you go to when you are fearful?  You can answer in the blog comments or on a social media account of your choice.  Just make sure I know about it.  I will choose a winner on Sunday night.

Trillia – thank you.  This book was very helpful and was restorative to my soul.

20 May 2015

Living Well at 40 to Live Well at 80

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I love being surprised by books.  And I’m not 40 (yet), but my husband is past this mark.  And thanks to Crossway for this title.  I was intending on reading it right after the new year, but that never happened, but it has been perfect timing for me to pick up this book.

John Dunlop has written a great book, mostly for senior citizens, on how to live well and finish strong for the glory of God.  In Wellness for the Glory of God, Dr. Dunlop explores how people above the age of 40 can live well so that they finish well – not only in health, but in many other areas as well.

He does cover physical wellness.  He doesn’t talk about a particular diet, but he does talk about how our aging bodies need certain things to make them work to their highest capacity.  He doesn’t talk over his readers’ heads, but instead offers illustrations and practical steps to stir them up to good deeds in this area.

He covers mental wellness.  I actually think this chapter would be best read by children of aging parents.  This talks a lot of how to keep the mind sharp.  Again, a very practical chapter.

One thing he covers is social wellness.  He offers some advice to the aging adult – focus on others.  He gives tips on how to focus on others, ministering to them, pouring into them, getting out of your comfort zone, passing on knowledge, playing with kids and grandkids.  This is not only social wellness, but is greatly connected to the physical and mental wellness too.

In financial wellness – he covers tips on wills, leaving good financial legacies for your families, and not piles of debt to be a burden to those after you.  HE talks about giving and how that can be a blessing not only to you but also to the ones you give.

Spiritual Wellness is important.  Some aging adults find it difficult to physically be involved in church activities, but he encourages them to not their love of the Word grow dim.  Bible studies, prayer groups in your home, prayer ministries, mentoring.  Don’t spend all of your retirement years thinking you already know everything about the Word, but spend this time deepening your walk with the Lord.

Emotional Wellness concludes the book’s sections.  I know so many elderly who may struggle with two of the things Dunlop mentions: anger and boredom.  Forgiveness is such a crucial thing to emotional wellbeing.  Boredom should never be the case because this world is so big and we have so much at our fingertips.

What I figured from this book is that I need to start pursuing all these areas now – not wait until I’m 60 and my kids are in college.  Start taking these tips to heart and act upon them.  Be healthy.  Be giving.  Be smart with my finances.  And also that God intends us to be whole beings.  If we are healthy on the outside, but never help anyone or pray to our Creator, then our physical wellness doesn’t get us very far.

Whatever stage of life you are in, seek out how to best live ALL of it for God’s glory.

16 May 2015

Never Say No : a Startling Guide to Parenting (Review)

by | posted in: Books, parenting, Shepherding Children | 0

Thanks to Litfuse for the chance to read and review this book.  All thoughts are my own.

There is something to say for having a great title.  When I first saw this book come through my emails – I wanted to read it solely for the purpose of finding out what the Foreman’s had to say about parenting – based on the title Never Say No.  And they raised two creative children (Switchfoot) and I want to know how to bring out my sons’ creativity.

I was really surprised by this book and how much I liked it. It was practical, not at all saying your children should run the home or the universe.  They had an underlying focus on the grace that Jesus offered to us at the cross, and how that enables us to parent with eyes focused on Him and handing out more grace.  “Everything is grace.  Be thankful.  Give grace away.” (pg 21)

I think really in the overall picture – they still tend to be more man-centered in this book then I would naturally point to.  With good goals – like spending time with your children, bringing out there gifts, giving them grace, etc.  But maybe, we could point them to their Savior and His Will for their life and what God gave them to do for his glory.  I think it is really semantics – I do believe the Foremans would say the exact same thing.

I would recommend this book for parents of school-age children or pre-teens. I think that is where it is hard to connect and communicate with your children and help them to see their amazing purpose in the world – to shine Jesus!

11 May 2015

Every Bitter Thing is Sweet (Ramblings and Giveaway)

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Every Bitter Thing is Sweet

One of the best books I’ve read lately, one that has captured my soul in a time of hurt and healing, is Every Bitter Thing is Sweet.  I was introduced to it by a few friends on IG and she spoke recently at my former church in the RDU area.  It has indeed been a book that I will re-read in different seasons of life.  I will be doing an official review of it on another site, but here I just wanted to give some personal reflections – and have a giveaway (Thanks to Zondervan.)

First, just two notes…This book may not be for you.  It is a memoir of Sara Hagerty’s journey of a wife, adoptive mom, and now a mom.  It is one written on a painful journey and how God met her in her time of need.  There are Scriptures at the back of each chapter – dive into those verse.  Even if you know you know them, read them again.  Scripture is good for our soul – as Psalm 19 says, “It revives the soul”.

“I was a different woman than the one I had been before my life unraveled, because God had become to me a different God than the one I’d contrived to be when it all was working as it should.” (pg 180)

2014 was a difficult year to say the least.  I had a 2 year old and a newborn.  We moved states and my husband changed jobs.  I learned new meanings of the word trust.  I cried so much.  Hurt was a regular part of my vocabulary.  But, what I’ve been learning even into 2015 is that God is an amazingly, close Father and I am in so desperate need of the Gospel every minute of my life.  When we walk through valleys, our God shows up so clear to us – because He is often all we have – and that is a beautifully hard thing to learn.

“She was finding a new identity.  She was walking out the fulfillment of our feeble prayers.  Her heart was growing.  Pain had made space.”

Friends, I’m not there yet.  Not completely.  There’s more space, but not near as much as there should be.  I’m learning every day how to trust again, how to be selfless (which I’m so not, and that’s not humble modesty).  I’m learning to lean into Jesus and his Word.  I want God to be daily re-creating me more and more into his image.

Perfect for Mother’s Day (even though it was yesterday)

“If my chief end as a mother is anything less than knowing Him and carrying His glory in my life, I will walk through these years empty.” (pg 156)

I need to hang this on my mirror so I see it every day.  Notice she didn’t say to have the cleanest house, have the best “work from home” business, or have the most well-dressed kids.  She said to know Jesus and carry his glory.  Reflect his glory!

“He wants us to make a habit out of coming near.  Because His response to our pain will be safe.” (pg 146)

In the presence of God is the only safe place there really is – because there there is no sin.  God is perfect and holy and gently.  He will not break us.  He will shape us into the image of Jesus with gentleness.  Other people – in response to our circumstances – will bring us (even more) pain.  Don’t set your hopes on other’s responses.  Focus your hope of the Lover of your Soul.  He is good.

“Delight and life from a tongue can change a soul.” (pg 101)

This needs to be the air I breathe to others.  Conviction shouldn’t be the first thing on my mind.  Critique shouldn’t be the first thing on my list.  I know God’s Word calls us how to live and I want to know how I can bring life (not sappy optimism) into others.  I want to love on others like Christ would.  That is a hard balance.  If you see others living in sin, tread lightly, be gentle, allow the healing words of Christ and gospel to speak through you – not the harsh words of condemnation.  Remember when you are speaking that there is no condemnation in Christ – so if your words leave someone feeling condemned – that’s not Jesus.

Giveaway Question:

I have one copy of this book to giveaway.  If you’d like it – please answer: What is one thing you’ve learned about God as you’ve walked through a difficult season?

11 May 2015

Coffee with Trillia Newbell

by | posted in: Books, Coffee with... | 0

Interview with Trillia Newbell

I’ve just been recently introduced to the life, ministry, grace, humor, and writing of Trillia Newbell.  She does some great things for the kingdom in race ethics, CBMW, and for the ERLC.  But, today, I’m not talking to her about those things – though I would definitely like to.

I’m getting the privilege to introduce to you her new book, Fear and Faith, by Moody.  Ladies (gentleman, keep reading because your wife will thank you for the book) – this is one of those books, and they have been rare in my life – that I think every woman should read.  Married, single, mom, widow, barren, adoptive mom, divorced…you name it – its for you.  Because I think Trillia has hit on a topic all women struggle with.  FEAR.

I’ll save my book review and the GIVEAWAY for next week, but right now you can hear from Trillia herself.  And while I didn’t get to sit down with her face to face and have coffee, this is what I would ask her if I could have:

1.  You write a part about always being in a hurry. How do you manage to write books, minister to women and others through CBMW, ERLC, and be a wife and a mom?

When I first began writing I had a desire to write as often as possible for as many organizations as possible. In part, I was simply excited to write. I also thought it was a great way to grow. As my responsibilities have increased at the ERLC and speaking opportunities have also increased, I’ve had to say no more often than I’d like to. That, I think, is how I’m able to balance. As new seasons come I have to make decisions to stop doing certain things. Before I was writing books, I was a fitness instructor, as I began to write more and my husband and I saw this as a ministry I ought to invest in, I gave up fitness.

I simply could not do this without my husband’s support, encouragement, and blessing. He helps me evaluate opportunities and balance serving the home, family, church, and broader ministry work. God’s grace is sufficient and he enables me to work.

2.  When you got finished writing this book: what had you learned the most about yourself and what would be the first chapter in Fear and Faith part 2?

I’m not sure what I learned about myself but what I did learn is that fear is universal. I knew that it was a common struggle but the response has been such that I realize it’s almost a temptation for everyone. If I had a Fear and Faith part 2—the first chapter might be on finding our identity in Christ as we seek to fight these fears, especially the fear of not measuring up.

3.  What verse or advice would you share w women on how to conquer social media and its push on what we do in life?

I think if a woman is secure in her identity in Christ and looks to Scripture to define for her what womanhood is, she will be able to fight the temptation to compare on social media. I don’t think that social media is all bad. I think we should be able to look on these various sites and rejoice with other women who receive what we do not or who are gifted differently than us.

But we also must know that we do not have to be on social media. I think many fear missing out so we check often. But if social media tempts us to sin rather than is a means of grace, don’t get it on it. There’s freedom to miss out—and honestly, we aren’t missing out on much because real life around us still goes on.

I hesitate to throw out Scripture because it depends on what aspect of it someone is struggling on. There’s plenty in the world about running our own race, not looking to the left or right, and encouraging one another. I would say anything in that category would be a good start.

4.  Random question just for fun for your readers to get to know you better. If you could go on one trip just w your husband, where would it be and why?

Mine is Paris!! I studied abroad, in Swansea, Wales, and while over there I visited France. I traveled to Paris a few times and it was by far my favorite city. My husband, Thern, has not been to Paris (though he has been abroad). I would love to sit at the foot of the Eiffel Tower with him. Oh man, that would be so wonderful!

5.  What is your favorite coffee shop where you live and what is your “regular ” order?

I love to work at the Frothy Monkey and The Good Cup. I enjoy fruit tea and various delicious coffees.