21 Feb 2015

Hope in a Sexually-Broken World

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, hearthopejustice, Women, World Events | 1

Sex. God created it. Blessed it. He saw that it was good.

Then sin destroyed it. Sin distorts and kills everything.

There is only one hope for sin: Jesus.

In the Fall, I heard Dr. Albert Mohler give a talk at my church. He shared the trauma and results of living in a sexually-broken world. How far and wide its affects are. This one area touches so many other avenues in the churches, our homes, our societies, and our world.

Allow me to explain what I mean when I say a “sexually-broken”: anything outside of God’s amazing plan for a hope-filled, Christ-exalting sex life within a marriage of two people: a man and a woman, for life. Everything else is sin. And that leads to a sexually-broken world.

This brokenness can come in the form of physical/sexual abuse, pornography, lust, rape, addictions (think 50 Shades of Gray), homosexuality, sex-trafficking, prostitution…the list could go on.

Some of you might not be aware of how pervasive this brokenness is. But, look that the Super Bowl for example: one of the highest profiting days for selling sex.

Some of you might not think that this brokenness affects you. But, I assure it does. Sexual sin affected me starting in college. Not my own, but someone else’s. This still affects my thought life to some degree. Then my own sexual sin left scars of guilt in my heart that I still carry now (and I fight with the truth of forgiveness and the power of the Gospel). You probably know friends who have been raped, abused, who are addicted to pornography, who struggle with lust, who have had sex before marriage, who do not have wonderfully fulfilling sexual relations in marriage, or who bring sexual scars into their marriage and suffer mentally and physically from them.

Now, that we know a little of the problem, how we do fix our sexual-brokenness? Hownestly – we can’t. We need a Fixer. That’s why Jesus came. During His time on earth, he did ministry in the life of at last three women who were sexually broken: Mary Magdelene, the woman at the well in John 4, and the woman who was caught in adultery. His blood on the cross covered all of our sins – not just our sexual sinfulness.

You may be the cause of your own brokenness (your sinful addictions, etc), or the brokenness may come from the outside (rape, abuse, bondage, etc). Once we have that relationship with Jesus, there are a few things that will offer hope in Christ and the Gospel:

First, if you are in a dangerous, life-threatening, abusive relationships, get help now. Exit the situation. Cry for intervention.
Realize your own brokenness. This is something that has been helpful for me in the past year: admitting my failures and admitting how I am feeling. Know that sin is sin. If God would mark iniquity who of us could stand (Psalm 130:3)? Here is an example: I am angry or hurt. How often are we encouraged to hide our hurt or made to feel ashamed of it? This admittance is helpful and not a sign of weakness. We can confess our brokenness and engage our feelings with the Lord. The Holy Spirit dwells in us and helps us in our weakness.
Seek counseling. I personally would recommend a biblical counselor (See ACBC for help). Another go to would be a Christ-exalting pastor/wife you know. One of my sweet friends recently suggested this to me. Find someone whom you can confide and who will weep with you and feed you truth (not let you continue in sin).
Journal. This is a form of meditation which is definitely recommended from the Psalmists. This has been a huge help to me this year. My friend and also a pastor friend of mine encouraged me in this and it has been a tremendous blessing. The Psalms are a great place to start! There are so many trials, blessings, Godward-cries, even sexual sin in this gem (Psalm 51). Its answers are the very healing words of God.
Seek repentance. He is faithful to forgive (1 John 1.8) If you are the committing the sexual sin then turn from it. Keep turning from it. My husband mentioned the idea of starving your sinful appetites. They will diminish if you starve them. Satan may have you in a snare but Christ is the chain-breaker.
Forgive. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. Truely forgiving means not holding it against that person for the rest of his/her life. Christ can and wants to bring healing. In the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6), Jesus instructs his followers to pray that God would forgive their debts as we forgive our debtors.
Believe God at his Word. There is hope! He is the deliverer. He is the chain-breaker. He is the Healer. He wants your good! Love protects. God wins. Heaven is real. You are precious and beautiful and bought with the blood of Christ. I loved this quote in Megan Cox’s book Give Her Wings: “Hard men believe that Jesus is a hard man. Which means they do not really know him. Believe if you know Jesus you understand His mercies.” (p 100)

Please know that there is no easy answer for sexual brokenness. Healing is hard. Jesus brings freedom and healing and hope and love. That doesn’t mean we still don’t live in a sin-plagued world that wreaks of death. We will have the consequences of sin.

Jesus offers hope.

Jesus’ love protects and is faithful.

You can be victorious in Jesus.

(This post is sponsored by heart.hope.justice and Give Her Wings. Megan Cox has just written this new book as a devotional for those who have been affected by abuse. In is she shares her own story, or years of counseling, and Gospel-focused hope. What I found helpful in this book is the Christ-exalting message on so many of its pages. Counseling won’t solve all your problems. Jesus is the answer for everything. heart.hope.justice is a dream of mine. Its partial goal is to bring healing and financial help in the area of sexual brokenness by an artwork that I did – and the proceeds will go to help some sex-trafficking end it movements.)

8 Feb 2015

Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, parenting | 1

(Thanks to Litfuse Publicity Group for allowing me to be a part of the blog tour for this new parenting book and giving me a copy in exchange. All blog content in my own opinion.)

Can I just tell you that parenting is the hardest job…EVER. I keep telling people that now that I have two toddlers of my own (whom I love very much and would do anything for) – I wouldn’t be a nanny for a million dollars for the rest of my life. Every day I am challenged in my sanity, patience, grace, and knowledge and experience of the gospel in loving on these two littles.

Michelle Anthony, who has many years of parenting and ministry in her pocket, has written a helpful and engaging book for parents. If you live in this world, you must think that everyone is dysfunctional – and basically, we all are. Sin is a problem with all of us. And now that I am a parent, I definitely see my sin patterns and struggles and strongholds coming out in my parenting.

Do I desire to be in control? Do I want to be liked? Do I want everything my way?

Dr. Anthony takes these and many more thoughts and scenarios and helps us as parents think through them. Not only does she help us think through them, she also helps us identify answers to strengthen our parenting.

And the best news of all: we are not the Director. I’m so glad Michelle started out with this truth because it is one of the most discouraging and encouraging truths to hold on to as a parent. It is discouraging because as person who likes to be in control, I can’t do much about it. But it is infinitely encouraging because the Director I know (God, the Father) is a perfect Director who has a marvelous plan and He never needs a “take 2”.

The best I can see using Michelle’s book Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family is getting together and reading it with your spouse and reading it, talk about it, answer the questions at the end of each chapter – and then discuss it with a small group. This even might be a great evangelistic tool to use in engaging especially single moms who are struggling to do this parenting thing solo. This book is written for the average parent – you don’t have to be seminary trained to understand her terminology.

Either way, read this, identify yourself in this book, and find hope in the Gospel. I’m thankful Michelle wrote this and I look forward to re-reading this at each stage of parenthood that I am in.

3 Feb 2015

I am not a Middle School Parent…

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, parenting | 1

But some of you are, and many of you have been there (bless you). I have worked with middle school students in the past via my church and Young Life – both where I was on staff for this particular age group.

I’ve learned a couple of things since that time (early twenties):

1. I didn’t know anything then.

2. What I know about teaching the Bible and the importance of the Bible – I wish I would have known then.

3. Middle schoolers are all different – yet all the same.

4. Some adults have a special gifting to reach middle schoolers – and some don’t.

5. Jesus loves middle schoolers.

I think it is tough right now parenting toddlers – but I know in some ways it will be easier – and some ways harder, as they grow up. Most people say that the middle school years are the hardest, but that doesn’t necessarily have to be the case.

One thing I do want from my middle school boys (when they get there) is open communication, personal attention (not trying to force them to like and be the same as his brother), and for them to have a growing relationship with Jesus. For them to own and search for their faith – not just take mommy and daddy’s faith as their own.

Judah Smith, a fabulous communicator about Jesus, has a student edition of Jesus Is ______. In it he explains his writing style (a little ADD) and hits on the main points of what he is trying to teach middle schoolers: that knowing Jesus for who He is will radically change your life.

This book is interactive, uses timely illustrations that middle school students will relate to, and teaches the truths about Jesus on a level most middle schoolers will understand.

I’m glad I have this book – that I can keep and have as my boys get older (ok, a decade away), but you can have one for your very one by leaving a comment here or on facebook (Tommy Nelson is glad to give a copy of this away – as I am a part of Tommy Nelson Mommies – but all opinions in this review are mine). So, here is the question you have to answer in the comment: what is one way you engage your son or daughter with the gospel.

30 Jan 2015

Teaching Young Boys How to Be Men

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, parenting | 3

Building God's Kingdom: Tipper Tells a Lie, Andy Holmes

My life is full of balls, choo-choos, and bulldozers. If you are a mom of young boys, you know what I’m talking about. I live in the Atlanta area and many times a week I’m driving around specifically going to the site of the new Braves stadium just because my son wants to see the bulldozers. He squeals with much delight.

So, when I saw these books (a new series) by Tommy Nelson for young boys featuring bulldozers and other machines – I knew my older son would love them. And what is better yet, they teach them morals: not to lie, telling the truth, etc. And these are great qualities for young boys – who want to grow to be men.

When I’m training my little boys – I want to train them up in the Gospel – for sure (which is where I think these little books lack), but I also want to train them in good morals in ways they can grow to be men. Telling the truth and being honest is definitely something God desires and a trait they should have their entire lives. Another trait I want to teach them is to be gentle and to be good stewards of their toys and possessions. This is something that God told Adam in the Garden – to tend the garden and take care of it.

Do you have young boys – how do you teach your young boys to be young men? To teach them morals?

If you do have little boys who love bulldozers or cranes, etc, and you want to win your own set of these books – then just leave a comment on the blog or on facebook and you will be entered.

Thank you Tommy Nelson for these books (all opinions are my own) and for giving an opportunity to win them!

15 Dec 2014

Hosting Your Neighbors for Christmas (Giveaway)

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, Kids r Readers 2 | 0

Happy holidays everyone. I was reminded very much of this today when I went to my annual physical and had a Jewish female doctor. I didn’t say Merry Christmas, but I did talk about how the Scriptures help me when I’m fearful.

Anyway…

We live in a suberb of Atlanta, in a culdesac of townhomes. And I approached my neighbor (long time seminary friend) about hosting a holiday party for the ladies and children in our neigbhorhood. My pastor had challenged us to share Jesus 5 times this holiday season (felt like Doc Reid was going to have us fill out evangelism reports like I was in Intro Evangelism). And then I got this book from Tommy Nelson Mommies – and thought that it would be a perfect reason to have everyone over. So, I dished out the invitations and my friend passed them out this weekend. Be praying, because Saturday morning hopefully we will have non-believers in our home.

Here is what we are doing – and maybe some ideas will give you a creative spark to reach out to your neighbors in the next few weeks.

1. I am hopefully going to have the opportunity to read God Bless Our Christmas. This is a new book by Tommy Nelson (a book publisher for children) written by Hannah Hall. It is a non-threatening, winter-fun-loving book that is illustrated for children and would be a lovely book to have all the kids gather around. While, I didn’t think it hit on the Gospel hard enough, barely mentioning Jesus – I thought it perfect for our gathering. Where we want to be inviting to our neighbors, winsome, and have a conversation starter that we can take (winter, snow, gifts, Christmas, trees) to then talk about the Gospel. I’m so thankful to have conversation starters when sharing the Gospel. I find it intimidating to walk up to someone and say “Hey, you know Jesus?”

2. One of the precious and yummy things that book highlights is sprinkles. Cookies and sprinkles. So, we are going to have goodies at our holiday party and we are including a cookie decorating station for the kiddos. This holiday season is already crowded and packed with friends and functions, so I want to keep it easy. My friend and I are splitting the tasks. And usually I would use this recipe and roll out the dough and make the buttercream – but I’m buying sugar cookies, and tub frosting – and having sprinkles and icing! Fun for all the kids – and adults too.

3. Another activity for the children is Christmas tree decorating. We put our Christmas tree in our dining room this year. So much happens around our table so I thought it perfect to include the tree. So, I’m going to have construction paper, stickers, markers, glitter – you name it – for them to decorate Christmas trees. Hopefully with the children busy with activities, my friend and I can get to know the moms and have opportunity to talk with them about Jesus.

4. Presents. Christmas is about presents – in some sense. God gave us a present. We give each other gifts. And during the Black Friday madness, Lifeway Christian Stores was selling the Jesus Storybook Bible for 5$. We bought several and will have bows on them. Be praying that we will get to give all 4 of them away this weekend.

I’m thankful that my friend is doing it with me. It is scary to share the Gospel. Shouldn’t be – but it often is.

How are you planning on engaging your neighbors or lost friends this holiday season? Comment on the blog here or any of the social media sites of mine – and I will draw a winner on Friday (19th) night and you can have your own copy of God Bless Our Christmas! I love getting children to read and this is one your kids will love for every holiday to come!

Disclaimer: I am a Tommy Nelson Mommy. That means I get to review, blog, and giveaway new books for kids! Its exciting – but all opinions are my own! Thanks Tommy Nelson!

4 Nov 2014

Thoughts and Quotes on Grace Transforming (Ryken/Crossway)

by Kimberly | posted in: Books | 0

Over the years, I’ve learned that I absolutely love books that have been compiled of sermons. My love for them started with Piper’s Swan series, and has continued – especially since I can’t make every conference but I can always buy a book that has the talks transcribed to fit between the covers. It is a helpful ministry to put these talks together for those who can’t attend, but would like to reap the benefits of the talks.

Wheaton College is an amazing romantic place to me. I’ve only been twice, but the moment I stepped foot on the campus outside of Chicago, IL – I was filled with a since of awe as I knew the likes of the Elliots and Pipers had attended there. The snow was piled high on my first trip, and the quietness peaked an interest in my heart of that campus – which I still adore. Now, with so many friends working in Wheaton or for the college, it still holds a dear place. One of my current favorite preachers is now the president. And while I can’t attend weekly chapel services, I can pick up the book of sermons on Grace that the President, Phil Ryken, preached to his students.

I’ve already reviewed the book, but now want to return to it and point you to some of my underlinings and notes:

Let me just tell you – it may be written for college students, but people in every avenue of life can glean from his sermons. I mean, for me – what Mom and wife doesn’t need to revel in the grace of Christ on her behalf – especially in disciplining two toddlers and submitting to her husband (who is wonderful by the way)?

“One of the ways that grace teaches us to say no to ungodliness is by giving us a place to go with our sin and then offering us another chance to grow.” (58) Man…I need this reminder daily. How often we beat ourselves up if we yell at our children, pick a fight with our husband, or overeat, or have a messy house. These things shouldn’t define us, but we need to step away from them and enter God’s gracious presence to receive healing and hope.

“Wanting people to think the est of us, we try to present ourselves to the world in the best possible light. Yet most of us struggle with a deep sense of insecurity. Rather than feeling confident in our abilities, we live with the constant fear that we don’t measure up.” – Probably the most impactful quote in the entire book for me. In a world of social media and my role as a SAHM – this cut to my weak and sinful heart.

“Is this any way for a person to talk who has received an absolute sufficiency of God’s abundant grace,” (81) Especially, as I’m around my two toddlers who are learning to talk and see how I respond to life (especially Atlanta drivers and disappointments throughout our day – I want my speech to showcase God – not make my boys question my relationship with Him.

“We get discouraged by the burdens of our work and disheartened by the brokenness of our relationships.” (84) This was indeed true this past weekend – when my pastor preached on parenting and I also learned that day of another marriage in trouble because of sin. I wept for the hurt of those friends. I was convicted by the way I don’t treasure the Word in my parenting like I should. God’s grace is more.

31 Oct 2014

Halloween Link Love

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, Link Love | 0

So many fun things to do today – whether you celebrate in a costume or not. I think holidays are perfect for baking, celebrating life that God has given us, etc. So, here we go. Enjoy! I was going to Target to purchase some items to make something fun tonight with the boys and both of them had in-store meltdowns. May try after their naps, but we may just call it a day.

Just because it’s more chocolate and peanut butter and I love the pictures.

Maple definitely makes Fall better.

Rice krispie treats decked out for today’s celebrating

These pumpkin muffins would make a nice addition to a cozy night at home, welcoming trick-or-treaters and enjoying a warm beverage of choice.

The church and why today matters.

One new book I want to read about a highly influential woman and this post is written by a friend of mine.

Unfortunately, when we get to today, that means there is no more October left. It’s sad.

29 Oct 2014

Grace and Peanut Butter and Chocolate

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, mothering, parenting, Uncategorized | 0

I’ve already reviewed this book for Crossway and I stand behind everything I say. But, in this post I want to encourage (mostly Moms) yall from some of the highlights that I read. I’m grateful for Gloria’s writing, examples, and Christ-centered encouragement to other moms in the world. Many things I could relate to – and no matter what stage of mothering you are in, I’m sure you can to.

“It’s tempting to view everyday life merely as a monotonous cycle of making the beds on to be in them again.” (63)

Don’t let life be mundane to you. I know we have to clean and cook dinner and change diapers and run car pool. But, don’t be ok with that. That is when life gets boring and we get discouraged. Make fun things happen, change your attitude – don’t live there.

“Controlling my circumstances wouldn’t fill the void in my soul. You can’t organize your way into communion with God.” (78)

I see this in myself a lot today. My littler toddler is sick. I can’t take them anywhere I normally go because he would be around children and I don’t want him to get others sick. So we are at home. In a small townhome, all day. Well, I can’t control that. Now I can either apply the gospel or live in a bad mood the rest of the day until they go to bed? It is choice!

“God is greater, more powerful, and more mysterious than we could ever dream, and it will take an eternity for him to reveal to us his magnificence.” (92)

God is our reward – not the perfection of heaven. He is infinite and no matter how much we seek to know him on this side of his presence – we will never know him fully – because He is inexhaustible.

“Our craving for admiration is diluted and the praise of others is muffled as we serve with the strength God supplies. Why would we take credit for the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives?” (105)

This is an area of biggest struggle for me. God is the one who does the work and needs to get all the praise for it.

“I need God’s grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate.” (138)

Perhaps my favorite line in the book!

“I forget that homemaking is not primarily about my personality; it is primarily to adorn the gospel because the grace of God has appeared.” (155)

Another one of those needed statements that I will need to think through.

This book is highly marked up and I’m shipping it out today to a friend who will also love this book. There are many other things I highlighted that I’ve talked about with friends or my husband because they bring up too much hurt from past relationships.

Mom – keep pursuing the gospel in your parenting! God has got this! Be encouraged!

23 Oct 2014

Teaching Children to be Readers

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, Kids r Readers 2, mothering, parenting, Shepherding Children | 1

Being a parent is amazing and hard and always full of new moments. But, this moment we are in right now is something I’ve waited for. “Mommy” then I get a little pat on my leg and I see my older toddler standing there in front of me with a book in his tiny hands. Begging for me to read to him. So, I do. Over and over again.

There is a certain train book from Usborne books (gift from Oma) that he has carried everywhere – coffee shops, hikes, car trips, gym kid’s club – and Daddy has even had to tape it up. It came with a little train – sometimes we can find it sometimes we can’t. But, no matter – he has other cars that will work on its tracks – or at least work for him.

One of the things I want to instill most in my kids (besides a love for God) is a love of reading. I love to read and I know how books take you to other places, teach you so much more than you could ever learn, and also put a desire in you to see the world around you. C S Lewis and L. M. Montgomery are two of those authors for me. I have a feeling the boys will love L. A. Wilder, C. S. Lewis, J. R. R. Tolkien, and Andrew Peterson. We shall see. Can’t wait to actually read chapter books with them at night. But, that is a moment in time later to come.

How can you instill a love of reading in children?

1. Use the library. We go to the library some for story time. My boys are harder to sit still than some others but we still attempt it and its good song and play time too. The public libraries, especially in bigger cities, are great resources (and free)!

2. Buy them books. Buy them at thrift stores, online book clubs, ask for them for presents.

3. Read to them. Use some time before bed, or after breakfast to read to them. It teaches them to pay attention and sit still but also helps stir up an amazing appetite to read.

4. Be patient with them as they learn to read. My boys aren’t to that stage yet, but I have to be willing as their Mommy to be patient, let them stumble over words, help them when I need to, and listen to them.

5. Encourage them to write their own stories. This time will come too. I still have the first book I wrote in 4th grade – all about animals. I can’t wait to show it to our boys. I hope they will love it and not laugh!

6. Read different genres. As a gospel Christian, I do like to read boys about Jesus to them. But…I love to read them other books about the world God created and things that happen in it and teach them about a Christian worldview – seeing everything through the lens of the Gospel. That is so important to teach to our children early in their learning adventure.

My friend Leah is an Usborne consultant. They have delightful and interactive books for children of all reading levels. Here is a link to an online party I am hosting for her. I have been pleased with the Train book so far – and so has our toddler. I’m sure you will find some your children like as well.

What are your favorite books to read to your children?

22 Oct 2014

Read This: Women of the Word (Jen Wilkin/Crossway)

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, Women | 0

Our days are so full!

As a Mom of two toddlers – and very active boys at that – I know what full days are. They are fun, encouraging, eventful, demanding, and days filled with laughter. We are always on the go, exploring new parts of our city or heading out to hang out with some friends or go see Daddy at work, or walk along the river or see animals at the zoo. I love cherishing times with my sweet boys.

But, something else I highly look forward to is either the days when they sleep in late and I get up to get some time in the Word in early – or their nap times – so I can again get encouraged by being in the Word.

The new(ish) book by Jen Wilkin, who serves at The Village Church in Texas, helps women with their understanding of how to better study – and fall in love with – the Bible (and more importantly, it’s Author).

I’m thankful for Jen’s organization, gospel-driven remarks, personal history with the Word, and imploring her readers to invest their time in the study of the Word – not just the glancing at it as you go along.

One of the hardest chapters for me to impliment on a daily basis if praying and the word. I love the pray – and have written journals for wives to pray for their husbands, working on a prayer journal for moms to pray for themselves as moms, but really to engage in the word – before, during, and after – by praying. Usually, I approach the Word quickly and haughtily and just start reading. I’m thankful that Jen included this in her book.

“Ask him to make his word come alive for you in such a way that you

know him better and see your own needs of him more clearly.

– Jen Wlkin

If you are looking for a way to learn how to study the book, or need encouragement in how to love the Word – turn to Jen’s book. It is for women, new believers and the believers who’ve known Jesus a while.

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