26 May 2014

Prayers for the Journey: Nehemiah

by | posted in: marriage, Prayers for the Journey | 0

BrickBackground-Nehemiah

How do your survive and thrive in marriage?  My mister and I are coming up on three years in October, and I’ve learned a lot about praying for him through these three years.  Prayer is such a vital connection in our relationship to the One who loves us like no other, who desires our hearts above all else, and who pursues us when we don’t feel loved.

Nehemiah is a book in the Old Testament that talks of a servant of the Lord who pursued fighting for his people and the land.  He worked against strong opposing odds and diligently worked on the task He knew was of the Lord.

How much more does something describe marriage?

Marriage is between two sinning servants of the Lord.  In marriage, both partners are sinners.  If you need more information, just watch how you interact with your spouse – there you go.  I’m a great sinner – see it everyday in how I communicate with and fail to love my Mister.

Marriage is a fight – it is a battle.  Yes, there are opposing people who want to see your marriage destroyed.  Look at media, news, the world, even some in the church (as we see the divorce rate just as high in the church as out of the church).  This world glamorizes the wedding – but not so much the marriage.

This task of marriage is from the Lord.  The Lord designed marriage ultimately for his glory and to show a lost world the glory of the Gospel.  The only way to survive and thrive in marriage is with the Lord on your side!

In the series of e-books I’m doing – devotional, prayer guides for wives to use to pray for their husbands – Nehemiah is here! You can get it free by clicking and downloading.  I’m thankful for Amy, Jeanie, and Laura who helped this one come together.  Eric – thank  you for reading it and being blessed by it.

Love your marriage.  Love God.  Pray for your spouse.  And if you aren’t married ladies – pray for your future spouse (if God so wills) now!

 

27 Feb 2014

kd316 Photography: Sweetheart Shoot: Gina & Brad

by | posted in: life together, marriage, photo shoot | 1

Marshmallows.  You normally don’t think of the gooey sugary treat as being something that will bind friends together.  But, before I met my husband, I made marshmallows from scratch for the first time and put it on my blog.  When we came to Arkansas in view of a call for our church, Gina, the wonderful spunky lady in these photos, came up to me and said, “I think we are going to be friends, you make marshmallows.”
And yes, we are friends, and love to make marshmallows together.  Thankful to her and Brad, their story, and the Shoe – all their children that God has blessed them with.  For these photos we went to downtown Mabelvale, the booming metropolis, and enjoyed the trees, benches, church, bbq joint, and a set of railroad tracks.

Thank you Gina & Brad for letting me share your life with my readers!

The Eggs

 

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27 Jan 2014

What Oatmeal Taught Me About Marriage (Cinnamon Raisin Honey Oats)

by | posted in: food, marriage | 0

cinnamon raisin honey oats

Just for disclosure sake: I have permission from my husband to share this story. He said he learned a lot from it early in our marriage and he wants to make sure that others learn the same lesson for the good of their marriage!

We had probably been married three months or so and having oatmeal most of those mornings. I had always cooked my whole oats in the microwave. I figured that’s how you did it. I hit the button for 1.45 and let them do their thing. Mister gladly ate them and never said anything about it so I thought they were fine. Well, come to find out, he didn’t eat them that way. One morning he said something to the affect of I don’t like my oats cooked this way. I want them cooked longer and less sweet. I probably burst into tears when he said that. Why cry over oats?

I had been doing them wrong all that time and he was just now telling me? Some of you are probably saying what a sweet husband, not to make a big deal out of the small and eating them because he loves his wife. That’s a great response and that’s exactly what he did. But, that wasn’t good for me. You see…I want to please my husband, especially in the kitchen. I love to cook and I want people to love to eat what I cook. So, after I got done crying, I asked him how he wanted them and have tried since to make them that way. Yes, its a little more work, but it pleases him and he eats them and never comments on them anymore except to say “Thank you, can you make these every day this week?”

Moral of the story: if your spouse does something that irritates you or doesn’t please you, you may want to find a gentle way to tell them how you would like it. Marriage is for the long haul – you might as well be happy in the little things! Philippians 2.3-4 is a great verse for our marriage. We read it on the night we got engaged. So applicable! What I wanted to know is how to please my husband in the little things: how to fold his shirts, his socks, hot to cook his oats, make his bed, etc. I want to do these things to please him. If I don’t know, how can I please him?

Wives, ask your husbands what would please him? Make every effort to do these things. Husbands, please be honest with your wives! And thank her for cooking your food for you!

 

Print
Cinnamon Raisin Honey Oats
Author: 
Recipe type: Breakfast
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 2-4
 
Simple, lightly sweet morning oats
Ingredients
  • 1½ cups uncooked oats (plus a handful)
  • 1½ cups water
  • 1½ cups whole milk
  • 1 T raw honey
  • 1 tsp cinnamon sugar mixture
  • ⅔ cup raisins
  • milk for serving
Instructions
  1. Heats all on a stove top until boiling, stirring constantly, until desired doneness.
  2. Put in a bowl
  3. Top with milk
23 Jan 2014

A Practical Way to Revolutionize Your Marriage

by | posted in: marriage | 1

Revolutionize Your Marriage

I don’t know of any married woman who says “My marriage is perfect, we don’t need to improve in any area.”  Its just not said.  If it were said, there would be less divorces, no need for marriage counselors, or all the books in every bookstore about how to improve your marriage.

This is a simple, practical post. There are many spiritual things you can do to impact your marriage: pray (find a prayer journal here), read Spiritual Books, submit to your husband, and apply the gospel to every aspect of marriage.  This blog post won’t cover any of those but it more practical in nature.

Do this every day and I guarantee you will find more happiness in your marriage.  We’ve tried it – and it works.

Find out what blesses your husband and seek every day to do that very thing.

Here are some ways that plays out in our marriage.

Today: I made the bed. (My bed was seldom made before I got married). Sometimes, my husband makes it, but today I did.  I made decaf slightly sweetened tea.  He loves to have tea to drink at night with our dinner but can’t do the caffeine that late at night.  So, I made tea.  It took all of 10 minutes of hands-off time in the kitchen.  Not difficult.

This week I’ve taken to decluttering one area of our home each week day.  Clutter isn’t a good thing for my husband.  He likes a neat home when he walks in the door.  So, this week I’ve decluttered two areas in our master bedroom and put away and sorted all the boys’ clothes upstairs, and cleared off the fridge with all the Christmas cards we’ve received (we will be praying through those at meal times in our home).

Sometimes: its make his favorite meal. My husband’s favorite meal is spaghetti casserole.  It is not the most healthy dish to be made.  But, that is why it blesses him.  He really loves it but it is not my normal go-t0.  So, when I do make it he knows I’m making it primarily for him.

Here is the bottom line.  None of these things that I’ve mentioned may mean squat to your husband.  But, they mean a lot to my husband.  Key to this working is: study your husband.  Ask him what will bless him.  Ask him about tasks he would like you to complete during the day or sometime that week.  Make those items a priority on your to-do list that day.

And please, come back and let me know how it makes a difference in your marriage!  Blessings!

Read Philippians 2:3-4 for more info on this topic!

Photo credit: my ring and Erica Cooper Photography

5 Oct 2013

31Days (5): Study Christ

by | posted in: 31days, marriage, Uncategorized | 2

 

One of the pieces of advice I give new brides (or brides-to-be) is more than anything in marriage (from a human standpoint) – study your husband.  With all the marriage, sex, and relationship books out there, knowing what pleases your husband (and isn’t a sin) is a great thing that you can bring to the every day life!

Here are some things I know about my husband after 2 years of marriage:

1.  He doesn’t like clutter.

2.  He is a sharp dresser.

3.  He likes good shoes (think Johnston & Murphy).

4.  He is more of an introvert than I am.

5.  He loves Jesus and pursues the Word and the God who wrote it.

6.  He likes his sleep.

7.  He likes it when I put in my contacts instead of wearing my glasses.

Little things – right?  Right!  But, those 7 things may not apply to your husband.  That is why you have to know your husband. I was told so many different things about what men like when I was engaged.  I didn’t care and still don’t care what other men like.  There is only one man on this earth that I regard his opinion to the utmost: my husband.

Gloria Furman writes this in Glimpses of Grace:

“We ought to take pains to study Christ.  We study Christ because we’ve been saved for the purpose of being transformed into his image,

and in our beholding, the work of transformation occurs.”  (pg 68)

How do you study Christ?  The main way is to look at the Word of God – which all of it actually points to Christ.  We are reading The Jesus Storybook Bible to Little Buddy at night.  I love how she makes all the stories point to the Great Hero.  All of them, even OT ones.

How can you know what you are supposed to be looking like if you don’t know Christ?

How can we know Christ if we don’t study Christ?

4 Oct 2013

31Days: (4): One way to enjoy marriage

by | posted in: marriage, Uncategorized | 0

Campbell Christmas 842

“Enjoy your husband!” – Cara Croft – The Pastor’s Family

In the next few days we will be celebrating our two year anniversary. So much has happened in two years, but that is not what this blog is for. One of the joys of my marriage to the Mister has been meeting and getting to know this couple: Brian and Cara Croft – who wrote the new book The Pastor’s Family.

I remember before getting married, the Crofts came to Durham for vacation and we sat together for a meal at the Mister’s home. I felt like I had known them for years and I’m glad they approved of me (or the Mister may have had second thoughts).

Anyway, this blog is not to talk about the Crofts either. I want to give you an assignment for the weekend:

ENJOY YOUR HUSBAND

Whatever that will look like for you. It will look differently for every person. Encourage him, spend time with him (inside and outside of the bedroom), put his needs before your own or the kids, make his favorite meal, laugh with him, watch one of his favorite shows, enjoy the fall weather outside with him taking a walk or a hike.

“For your love is better than wine, your anointing oils are fragrant.” – Songs 1:2-3

Be creative! Just love on the one you have married!

31days

16 Sep 2013

Prayers for the Journey

by | posted in: marriage, Prayers for the Journey, Uncategorized | 1

Prayers for the Journey - cover

One of the most important daily things that a wife can do for her husband…is pray for him. I learned this concept almost 17 years before I actually got married, but believe me – it is so true!

I can tell the days I pray for my husband, and I can tell the days that I don’t. Prayer is our conversation with a God who daily is involved and the leader of our lives. Jesus is interceding for us, and the Spirit helps us when we don’t know what to pray.

That is why I’ve created Prayers for the Journey. These free downloadable journals are yours for the printing. It is a journey through a specific book of the Bible, with a Scripture, a prayer, a journaling space, and additional verses or helps. I figured if I didn’t know really how to pray the Word for my husband, some others may not know either. These journals are designed for you to pray the Word specifically for areas you know your husband needs them. You are his greatest prayer warrior. You know him best. So, who best to pray for him daily!

My husband and I wanted these booklets to be a resource for you. So, if you use it and like it – make it available to other women (in your church, women’s ministry, neighborhood, small group, family, etc).

The walk of marriage you are on with your husband is indeed a journey – live it to the fullest!

Here are what some friends who have already read it have said:

From Phyllis Robshaw (married 35 years)
I can’t say it enough. Soak in the Living Word and claim these promises that are so beautifully expressed here. Ooo yes, personalize them for your loved ones. You are praying in HIS will and the answer is always “yes!” His timing, His way, but “yes!” The Holy Spirit taught me to do this early in my marriage and after almost 35 years, I am more passionate about it than ever!!! O how FAITHFUL our God is! Expect a harvest!!

From Renee Fisher (www.reneefisher.com, author, married about 2 years)
Kimberly understands the importance of praying for your husband. I prayed for 12 years, 10 months, and 24 days from the day I knew God promised me a mate to the day Marc proposed. Regardless of where along the journey you are praying for your husband–Kimberly recognizes prayer and reading the Word is important. Definitely check out Prayers for the Journey. You will be blessed you did!

From Amelia McNeilly (single, www.mywalkofgrace.com, agent)
Prayers for the Journey by Kimberly Campbell is a must read. It is 30 day devotional based on praying for your husband using passages from Ephesians. Each day highlights a different passage and a prayer. This is an ideal prayer resource not only for wives but single women as well. As a single person, this book is a great encouragement, because these are prayers that can can currently be prayed for my future husband. I’m already looking forward to Kimberly’s next book!

From Jennifer Sharpe (married for 15 years, editor of Treasuring Christ Curriculum)
Our husbands need our prayers. Kim’s fresh approach to praying for your husband will ignite your passion for being his most faithful prayer intercessor. I urge you to take this journey through the book of Ephesians and discover a deeper love for your husband.

I had serious help with this.

First, my husband read it and was blessed by it – but also gave some constructive criticism.

Second, my mentor for almost 20 years, Phyllis, is the one who taught me by example how to do this in the first place.

Amy Torcasso of Treasuring Christ fame and a blessing of a friend did all the design work.

Sarah Bowen, to be married this weekend, was a great editor. I look forward to her living out these as she gets married to her husband in just 5 days!

4 Sep 2013

Book Review: The Pastor’s Justification (Jared Wilson/Crossway)

by | posted in: Books, marriage | 0

Whoever said being married to a pastor was easy – hasn’t been married to a pastor.  Let me explain and in that explanation, tell you why I chose (and liked) Jared’s book The Pastor’s Justification – a book for pastors (not pastor’s wives).

When I went to seminary, I went for the purpose of getting further training so I could do what I wanted to do: disciple.  If marriage came with that, great.  But, at 23, that was not my main goal. I was there to learn how to do ministry and engage in ministry.  I did meet girls there who said they were there because they knew they were called to be a pastor’s wife and seminary was the place to find single men entering the ministry.

Now, 14 years almost after entering seminary, having been married to a pastor for almost 2 years, I can tell you that there really is nothing glamorous about being a pastor’s wife.  And that is why I chose to read Wilson’s book.  And it’s a good one.

Don’t get me wrong: I love my husband, I love being married to him, I love serving him, and I love being his wife.  I love ministry, I love doing ministry – but it is hard.  It is hard to see your husband get beat up at work (not currently or literally, no black eyes yet).  There have been times when ministry is hard and there are more times when it is a joy.   It is hard to see him discouraged at times and wonder why the church would do that to him (because the church is full of sinners), and sometimes you just want him to be able to worship in church with you (but have to wait until vacation to be able to do that).  As a friend who is also a pastor’s wife said, “Sundays make me feel like a single mom”.

Wilson, a pastor in Vermont, writes a very personal, very relatable, and insightful book for pastors.  But, I also think it can be useful for pastor’s wives as well.  Wives: if you want to know some of the heartache, pull, weight that is in your husband’s heart at times, read this book.  Know how to encourage your husband in the gospel of Christ when he is discouraged.  When your pastor husband feels like a failure and you don’t know what to do, this book might be insightful for you.  Wilson takes many of the struggles that ALL pastors face and puts them up against our sinful spirit, and the grace and cross of Jesus.  Our husbands aren’t successful because the numbers of the church increase or more people get baptized or the giving is on the up: they are successful because they are in Jesus.

Here are some ways you can read this book:

1.  If you have multiple pastor’s wives in your church: read this book together.  I think it would be great to have a monthly gathering of pastor’s wives, sip coffee or tea, eat a cookie or fruit, and talk about this book – be real, be vulnerable, and share what God is doing in your marriage.

2.  Read this book with your husband.  It will strengthen your marriage more than you think.  You need to be in constant dialogue with your pastor husband.  He needs to know where you are struggling and you need to know where he is struggling. Who else has that much insight into her husband’s heart?

 

7 Aug 2013

Marriage, Ministry and Hospitality

by | posted in: life together, marriage, Uncategorized | 0

Eating, and hospitality in general, is a communion, and any meal worth attending by yourself is improved by the multiples of those with whom it is shared.

Jesse Browner

Marriage includes many joys!

One of the highlights of marriage and ministry for my husband is the idea and general enthusiasm I have for hospitality.  He is a very hospitable person – but how “odd” is it for a family from your church to come to lunch at the home of a bachelor?  Even one who keeps his home immaculately and can cook a great meal.  E was grateful for marriage for many reasons but one of them was his increased opportunity to practice hospitality.  I’m all for it.

Most anytime I mention an idea I have to practice hospitality, my husband gives me the thumbs up.  Here are some that we’ve had the joy to do in our home, yes, with an infant, yes, moving to a new town.

1. Write the Word parties: where a group of women come over one night every other month to talk about the word and write out or journal a specific book of the Bible.  All I need is chairs and maybe extra pens.  What is optional: coffee, tea, water, evening goodies.  My husband hangs out with the little mister so I can focus on talking with the women who come over.

2.  Worship Ministry Birthday Parties: My husband is a worship pastor and loves pastoring those in the choir and orchestra.  And I am not a part of his choir, but I do want to be involved in his ministry.  So, each month we pick a night to have the birthday people for that month (and their immediate families) over for a dessert time.  I love to bake – sometimes I get to be creative, sometimes I don’t.  But each month it has been a joy to get to know families – no matter how many birthday people can make it that month.

3.  Men’s Discipleship Groups: Every other week my husband would meet with a group of men from the church to discuscuss a book on church ministry and leadership.  I loved exploring some new breakfasts with this group, but I have to admit this one was the hardest because I experienced first trimester through this one.  Early mornings were rough, but the men were gracious as was my husband.  They survived some weeks on bagels or store bought muffins.  And with this one, much of it could be prepared the night before and ready for Eric to welcome them in the morning.

4.  Hang Out times:  This one I’m sure many of you do anyway.  I love being able to have women in our home during the day while E is at work.  Baby can be sleeping, or other babies can come along and join in on the fun. Especially helpful if you just have something to drink on hand – but that is not necessary either.  Fellowship in your home doesn’t require anything but an open door and a welcome smile.

5.  Sunday Lunches: Our Sundays are long days as you can imagine, but the crockpot comes in handy for this one!  Or you can always pick up a pizza on the way home!  Pick a different single, couple, or family.  This one with my family where it is right now is easy – because right when we get home little mister goes to bed, so he sleeps through almost anything.  The afternoon is cozy and good for conversation.  We don’t do this one a lot because of the hecticness of Sundays, but it is fun when it happens.

6.  Porch Nights: This one is about to start.  We have many single ladies in our church and I love ministering to them, discipling them, and getting to know them.  We have a great porch with plenty of room.  So, we are having a quarterly theme for the single ladies to get together and hang out – no agenda necessary.  We are doing appetizers in August.

This post was meant to be a help to you – to know that you don’t have to have a big house, lots of money, a love for cooking, or home decorating to practice hospitality.  I love opening our home to others.  And God gives us the command to be hospitable to others!  Have fun fulfilling this command!

2 Jul 2013

Loving is Hard

by | posted in: Books, marriage, Uncategorized | 2

Is the title of the blog news to anyone?  Anyone who is married, in a relationship, friends with someone, or even just someone who loves yourself – you know the truth to the title – Loving is Hard.

Loving may not be hard when you look at the way the world defines or acts out love.  If you have ever watched an episode of the Bachelor or Bachelorette or any other “matchmaking” reality show – you might think that love is all fun, easy, and highly entertaining.  But, one thing you would not find much of on these shows is the Biblical definition of love.

Some ladies here in AR this summer are studying a newer Crossway release that I had already read and reviewed but am going back through with some friends.  It is a highly convicting read – Phil Ryken’s Loving the Way Jesus Loves – but so good.  The point of Ryken’s book is not to put love in a certain category, but make Jesus love applicable to every area of your life.  Ryken takes the basic outline and characteristics of 1 Corinthians 13 and puts it in context of the gospels – showing how Jesus fulfilled every one of these characteristics of love.

One of the hardest displays of love is “love is not irritable”.  At least it is one of the hardest for me to live every day.  One aspect of love that I am working on in our marriage is not giving the silent treatment when I am hurt.  I tend to be easily offended (that is the one thing I am often seeking forgiveness for) and my way of dealing with it (sinful way) is the silent treatement.  That does nothing for a marriage at all.  My rationale for it is I don’t want to say anything in the moment that would hurt worse – but while there is wisdom in it – during my silent time I’m usually becoming more angry rather than praying and seeking God’s wisdom on what to do about the occuring situation.

Jesus has never given me the silent treatment.  He listens, talks (through his Word and the Holy Spirit), ever pleads my case to the Father.  I need to be more like Jesus – keeping in mind that it isn’t my righteousness at all that makes me look or act or love better – but only having more of the love of Jesus in me – which is all Ryken’s premise in the first place.

Do you find it hard to love?  Easy to love?  Pick up this book for encouragement and edification in how to love.