Book 8 of 52: Practicing Affirmation (Crabtree via Crossway)

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A book about affirmation – does that mean that this review needs to be affirming?  Probably!

My first impressions of this book, stylistically, were not the greatest, but I plugged away.  And I am so glad I did.  This book is one of the most helpful books that I have read to date in my day-to-day life/speech/relationships with other people.  Thank you, Sam!

Here is my favorite quote of the whole book:

“One you have gained a hearing, say things worth hearing.  Once people tune in to your radio frequency, give them something worth listening to.  Point people in the direction of supremely valuing the supremely valuable, namely Christ Jesus.  We are called not only to avoid bad speech, but to utter good speech.”

This good speech is not “Go Gators!  or good luck on that test, or anything like. 

Good speech is the tagline of the title: God-centered praise of Those who are not God.

Here are some examples: Thank you for being diligent in planning.   Thank you for showing contentment because God wants us to be content.  Thank you for leading well.  Thank you for being hospitable.  Thank you for displaying kindness to your brother.  Thank you for showing sweetness to me in how you answered me this morning.  Thank you for taking the time to listen to me, for showing grace toward me and putting yourself under my authority.

Do you see where Sam is going with this book?  Our applauding others is not to hear ourselves talk, make ourselves look good, or even make them look good – it is to make Christ look good.  Bring His glory to the forefront of this broken-down world we live in.

This book, especially toward the end, holds very practical ideas of implimenting this in your every day life: whether job, marriage, parenting, friendships, church roles, serving, etc. 

If you are a person who loves words of affirmation or even may have trouble affirming others in your life, this would be a good book to challenge you and the motivation of your heart with.

Much & Link Love – March 21

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Hello Spring!  I won’t count out more winter days in the RDU area (because I’ve lived here too long), but I love the wind and warmer temperatures. 

1.  For the past two weeks to have been really hard, the past 5 days have been really a much needed breath of amazing air from my Jesus. 

2.  And you know, things come from friends.  Time of rejoicing and times of pain and tears and no sense of understanding.  I have friends who are: excited about new ministry opportunities, having babies, just found out they were pregnant, losing babies to miscarries, struggling with adoptions, being diagnosed with cancer, struggline with cancer, marriages crumbling, jobs crumbling.  As I start reading Broken Down House by Paul Tripp – all of this rings true.

3.  Weight is going down! 🙂  External and internal motivation, and warmer weather play a factor in this!

4.  I feel encouraged in what I do.  The last two weeks have been hard on my soul and mind and body.  God is very gracious and reviving to me.

5.  In African-American society, I saw a weak part yesterday – not many men taking leadership in their family.  Unfortunately.  Who do the young black men in our country turn to?

6.  My friends are very crucial in my life.  They are a source of grace and gospel and nurture and nourishment in my life.  Some are let in a little closer – and those closer ones are precious to me!  Thank you – you know who you are!

7.  Going to Charlotte this week and watching bball this weekend!  Go Gators and Tarheels!

8.  2 months from today I’ll be on a big boat going to Alaska.  And yes, I am excited!

9.  Oh, songs, I need to do a song post: Old Alabama by Brad Paisley, Colder Weather by ZBB, Little Miss by Sugarland, – those are definitely top right now!

Link Love

There aren’t many this week: it seems like most I read are on Rob Bell, Japan, or food.  Let’s see what I got:

1.  New hymn worship cd that Bob Kauflin highlights

2.  A delicious coffee cake recipe from my friend, Leah

Ok – I know that’s not a lot…if Rob Bell would just not be a heretic then maybe I would have more! 🙂

Wednesday Words: Tomorrow

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This one again takes me back to Plant City Primitive Baptist Church, sitting on a piano bench, playing this on the piano for a small congregation.  I loved this song. It was rather easy to play (only 2 flats) and only had 3 verses.  I don’t know if I knew then how much these truths would really help shape me in the coming years.

Now, I look back on these words and tune with relish.  These words speak of the sovereignty of God and the anxious nature of sinful man.  With so many things going on in our world: whether natural disasters or personal decisions, or death, or hope and life and joy: the truths in this song need to be remembered.

Philippians 4:4-7

“Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I will say rejoice.  Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.  The Lord is at hand, do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of god, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow (Ira Stanphill)

I don’t know about tomorrow, I just live from day to day.  I don’t borrow from its sunshine, for it’s skies may turn to gray. 

I don’t worry over the future, for I know what Jesus.  And today I’ll walk beside Him, for He knows what is ahead

Every step is getting brighter as the golden stairs I climb.  Every burden getting lighter, Every cloud is silver lined.

There the sun is always shining, There not tear will dim the eye.  At the ending of the rainbow, where the mountains touch the sky.

I don’t know about tomorrow, it may bring me poverty.  But the one who feeds the sparrow, is the one who stands by me,

And the path that be my portion, May be through the flame or flood.  But His presence goes before me, and I’m covered with His blood.

Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem to understand.  But I know how holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand.

Much and Link Love: Pi Day

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1.  The last ten days of my life have left me very tired! 🙂 I even took a Sunday afternoon nap yesterday!  22 minutes of wonderfulness!

2.  The Body of Christ, no matter what church you are in, is such a sweet reprieve for my soul.  I love it when you meet believers and just are instantaneous friends and know that your relationship will be like Iron.

3.  I went to Gatlinburg this past weekend: praise Jesus I don’t live there.  Too many tourists in too small of a place!  But, the mountains are gorgeous.

4.  I spoke on 1 Corinthians 15, Colossians 1, and 1 Peter 2 in three sessions with the ladies of Morris Hill Baptist Church from Chattanooga, TN.

5.  I went hiking with a sweet friend.  Supposed to be a 2.6 mile hike.  However, it turned into a 3.8 hike witha 2.6 mile return on pavement straight up hill.  Fun.  🙂

6.  I love daylight savings time.  More time to run after work!  And that reminds me of summer and movies on the lawn at the NCMA and July 4 at the Kokabooth Amphitheatre in Cary and hiking and any other fun stuff I can relish!

7.  I am again learning trust, patience.  God knows I need daily reminders.

8.  This week: I am looking forward to: being in town!  And by town, I do include Durham!  Just not venturing outside of the Triangle this week.

9.  I’m thinking about money.  In a good way though.  I’m trying to save and not just use the money that I have graciously been given to just accumulate more “stuff”.  I think I’ll get two more items with some tax return money and then save the rest and also be able to bless others with some of it.  Our money is not for us.

Link Love

1.  Since I couldn’t sleep last night, I read most of a VERY LONG but AMAZING review by Kevin DeYoung of Rob Bell’s new book.  And yes, he has read it now…

2.  I actually believe this – and have been thinking much about this.  Thank you Tim!  Do everything through a lens of Scripture!

3.  Love this book recommendation by Brian Croft, a pastor in Louisville: own it today if you don’t already have it.

4.  I love this girl and her amazing testimony and family and life and blessings. 

5.  Do you like Pier 1?  Enter to win this giveaway!

6.  Thank you Durham – I think I’ll want to go here

7.  I would love to wake up in here every morning! 🙂  See number 9 above!

8.  Chef Marcus talks about food and lent

9.  You still have today to enter this giveaway for pretty jewelry from Kendie

10.  Great, hard to read, but needed post by Stephen Altrogge

Thursday Thoughts: Happy Birthday Mom!

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Ok – my Mom gets “younger” and I have more things to write to her.  Here are her 63 year young things I love about my Mom:

1.  She makes a great “sue chef” – yes I know it is spelled wrong, but we always laugh bc neither one of us really ever remember how to spell it.

2.  She prays for me.  All the time.

3.  She likes to plan.

4.  She loves to play board/card games.

5.  She’s pretty good at Trivial Pursuit.

6.  She’s pretty.

7.  She doesn’t look her age (I hope I carry on both 6 and 7).

8.  She is faithful.

9.  She doesn’t like to be late anywhere she goes.

10.  She plays a mean game of Bejeweled 2 and owns all of the top scores on her own computer!

11.  She doesn’t snore.

12.  She loves to bless her children.

13.  She used to let me sit in front of her and she would brush my hair – wish I could go back to those days.

14.  She is my biggest fan – hands down.

15.  She loves Jesus.

16.  She is an adventurous eater.

17.  She’s pretty good at a crossword puzzle (gets that from her mother).

18.  She loves to share food with me at restaurants.

19.  She doesn’t care that her shoes don’t match her outfit – she’d rather be comfortable.

20.  She has gorgeous nails and I’m so glad she encouraged me long ago to stop biting mine.

21.  She has pretty handwriting even though she can’t write in a straight line!  That’s why she has me.

22.  She’s not technologically savvy – slightly frustrating at times – but I love her for it!

23.  She listens to me anytime I call.

24.  She helps Dad with the taxes.

25.  She is gracious to folks who come visit.

26.  She was a big help to my Granny before she died.  Story: early on in my Granny’s blindness, Mom would have Dad drop her off at the house (next door) and they would work the crossword together and she would help her pay bills and write/read letters to family members.

27.  She always thought of really fun counting games for the family reunion.

28.  She loves me no matter what weight I am.

29.  She is my editor.

30.  She likes the Gators.

31.  She’ll watch reruns of NCIS with me.

32.  She’s not loud in the morning!  I love Quiet morning people!

33.  She wants me to go on her dream trip with her in May: Alaskan cruise

34.  She buys John Grisham books, reads them in a day, then gives them to me!

35.  She’s a fast reader.  (I didn’t inherit that trait, unfortunately)

36.  She makes great smoked mullet dip.

37.  She always helped me with my homework, especially english and grammar.

38.  She loves kids.

39.  She is interested in my life.

40.  She is very artistic.

41.  She’ll do anything she can for me.

42.  She loves my brother and sister-in-law and the two grand-dogs.

43.  She is a gracious and giving person.

44.  She’s a fighter!

45.  She prepared the grocery lists for us when we were younger so A and I could go grocery shopping.

46.  She loves Publix as much as I do!

47.  She wants me to succeed in life.

48.  She prays for my future husband and hasn’t given up on the fact that God has one for me.

49.  She cries for me.

50.  She loves her extended family.

51.  She’s smart.

52.  She gets excited about little things.

53.  She is wise.

54.  Her taco soup is one of my Papa’s favorites.

55.  She makes a great Strawberry Pizza.

56.  She finally finished my baby blanket a few years ago.  Persistent!

57.  She is gracious to my friends when they come visit and wants to talk about them.

58.  She wants everyone to be happy around her.

59.  She makes other people a priority.

60.  She thinks I’m pretty.

61.  She puts up with me – even when I’m not pretty.

62.  She loved her Mom (who just died on March 3).

63.  She is still alive after 62 years, starting 63 today.  Story: My Mom has been sick as long as I can remember.  She should have died 28 years ago and if she had I would not be the woman I am today – because I would have lived 27 years without her.  I’m glad God has brought her this far, sustaining her, so I could have a mother this long into my life.  I can’t imagine living life without her.

Happy Birthday Mom – I love you.

Wednesday Words: Abide with Me

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I found an old hymn book this weekend while I was at home, and found this song.  I personally like the tune that the Sojourn guys have put to it much better than what is written.  And given my Granny’s passing this past week, this song has been very dear to me.

Enjoy.

Lyrics by Henry F. Lyte

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
the darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.

Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day;
earth’s joys grow dim; its glories pass away;
change and decay in all around I see;
O thou who changest not, abide with me.

I need thy presence every passing hour.
What but thy grace can foil the tempter’s power?
Who, like thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.

I fear no foe, with thee at hand to bless;
ills have no weight, and tears not bitterness.
Where is death’s sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if thou abide with me.

Hold thou thy cross before my closing eyes;
shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
Heaven’s morning breaks, and earth’s vain shadows flee;
in life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.

Much & Link Love – March 7

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Here we go…

While most of you will be reading this, I’ll be at the funeral for my Granny.  It will be a good, family reunion time.  The gospel will be preached, thankfully.  Granny wouldn’t have wanted us to make a big deal about her – her life was never about her – always about her kids and grandkids. 

I did a tribute (see next post down) but here are some other thoughts.

Granny loved crossword puzzles and she was excellent at them.  I had sleepovers at her house.  Since her and Papa never slept in the same bed, I always got to sleep in the same queen size bed with my granny.  Those were special times for a little girl – sleeping away from home.  We always made popcorn strands to hang out their artificial Christmas tree every year.  She always had the big pear shaped bulbs on her tree.  I always gave her black licorice for Christmas – I knew she loved that.  I even gave her a bag of gourmet black licorice this past Christmas – and I don’t even know if she found time to eat it before having surgery last week. 

My Granny was always active, taking care of grandkids and great-grandkids, swimming with us many summers in the pool, she always wore a t-shirt, never a bathing suit.  She always had every meal on the table for my Papa.  3.  It may have just been rice and corned beef hash, but she always had it ready for him.  He didn’t have to wonder. 

In the last 8 years or so, she had become less active.  She was suffering with macular degeneration.  She was 98% blind the last time I saw her.  But, even though she couldn’t read my letters anymore, and she couldn’t do her crossword puzzles, and her chicken wasn’t quite done anymore when she cooked it, she can see past the shadows clearly now.  There is now no grayish-white film over her eyes.  So excited about new eyes for her. 

I’ve also learned we all grieve differently.  But for me, even though I have cried much this past week (2 funerals in one week, not fun), I know I grieve as one with hope.  That is my stability and my hope.

It was a little blessing for me to be in Florida.  I had just told my Mom that I was going to miss being down here for some strawberries.  Plant City is the strawberry capitol of the world.  So, now I have a flat of fresh picked strawberries to go back with me to NC.  Delicious.  I also have some Publix breakfast bread.  Its the little things in life.

This week I am heading to Gatlinburg on Thursday to speak at a women’s conference for a church from Chattanooga.  God will get glory…He will produce the words He wants me to speak.  I’m looking forward to proclaiming the Gospel to these ladies and myself.  And I get to spend time with two friends, Bekah and Tasya, and enjoy E TN, which I do love.

Here are some links:

1.  I look forward to reading this sermon by John Piper.

2.  I guest posted on a fashion blog.  Thank you for checking it out. 

3.  Love the preaching/writing of D. Martin Lloyd-Jones.  Catch this sketch here.

4.  For all you wives out there, check out this intimacy post on Passionate Homemaking.

Pictures: Lorraine is the name of my Granny.  This was a street near our houses – not named for her, but I remember as a little girl I thought it was.  And the gold trees in Lakeland are gorgeous this time of year.  I went over to Lake Hollingsworth to snap some photos.

Thoughts on my Granny

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Well, this is what I do.  I write.  So, when something happens – I write about it.  This is a way I pay tribute.

Lorraine Olson Hatcher.  Just turned 86 on Feb 21.  Granny to me for over 34 years now.  She was adventurous in her young age. One of the favorite pictures I have of her is her standing in front of an airplane when she was about 20 – gorgeous, movie star quality.  She marred my Papa and had 4 kids, my Mom being one of them, tons of grandkids, and even great grandkids.  I’m sorry she never will have the opportunity to meet my husband or kids.  That they will never know their granny.  That they will never get her birthday money that she would give us or get cooking lessons for chicken and rice or hush puppies or goulash.  Man, she could make a good goulash! 

I was Kimberly to my granny.  She would always call me that.  I guess she figured my Mom named me that for a reason, so I better be called that.  I love how she would write my name.  Kimberly…I like that name.

She was such a big help to our family when my Mom was so sick for many years. 

She knew how to wrap mullet after my Papa would catch like 300 of them.  Now, that is a great pairing right there.  I mean, I don’t know how to wrap mullet so it won’t smell up the entire freezer and kitchen. 

I remember being so afraid of the dark and having to run across the pasture from our houses.  She would leave the porch light on when I would leave and stand out there waiting for me to get across the pasture.  I would run faster than I had ever run before. 

She got me hooked on Nutty Bars – the Little Debbie ones.  So yummy. 

So…I sent her a card last week, it was a birthday, anniversary, and get well card all wrapped in one.  I wrote it big so she could read it (she was pretty much blind with macular degeneration).  I hope someone took it up to the nursing home for her.  I told my Dad to pass along to her I love her, from Kimberly.

I have sobbed today.  I don’t like sobbing.  It is dehydrating and makes my eyes hurt.  I’ve done it too much this week.  But, as I just told a friend…Curtis and Granny are now there together.  Curtis had prayed for her daughter and her granddaughter many times.  I hope somehow she knows that.  But, they both knew Jesus.  That’s what was important.

And, I hope, when I’m 63, I am able to sit with my Mom and she goes on to see Jesus.  I need a good 30 more years with my Mom to learn everything that I need to learn about being a daughter and being a Mom.  I hope I have kids one day that I can tell stories about their Granny to them – and teach them how to wrap mullet and make hushpuppies.  And eat goulash.

My Granny loved me.  I never doubted that.  Tomorrow night, I’ll get to my hug my Mom’s neck.  I can’t wait, LW.  I love my granny.  Thank you for all you taught me.

Tears and all.

Thursday Thoughts: She Does Him Good

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You know how you sit down to write and read for a certain post – you start with one thought in your mind and you end up going in a different direction. This is one of those posts.  This will be a two-section post. 

Proverbs 31:11-12 “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.  She does him good and not harm, all the days of her life.”

First: to single ladies: (I myself, being one of those said single women)

1.  She does him good all the days of her life.  The idea of 24/7.  Before she is married – all the days of her life.  Most of us live in the “when I get married I will…” (fill in the blank).  If it is something good that you could be doing, that if you weren’t doing would bring harm, then you should be doing it now.  It doesn’t matter that you aren’t married – how can you do your husband good now – all the days of your life?  Serve well, take care of yourself well, pursue Christ well, protect your heart well. 

2.  Carolyn McCulley says this well in her book Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye: “In our friendships with single men, we can’t presume that any man is the one.  We might hope that he will be the one, but only time will unfold God’s plan for us.  The woman of noble character, therefore, doesn’t live just in the present, but carefully considers her interactions from the persective of an entire lifetime – and thereby earns the trust of her husband (should God provide), as well as the numerous men who will friends and brothers in the Lord.  We have to consider what will bring him gain, or as the NIV translates it, that he lacks nothing of value.  This is the bedrock of trust.” 

Does your husband, whom you don’t know him yet (as your husband) have your trust?  Do you act in such a way that would honor him as your husband, to speak well of your brothers in Christ, to serve them as a sister in Christ would, to encourage them in their walk with the Lord and with the Word of life? 

For married women:

As I was reading a book by Elizabeth George this morning on this very passage, I came across a list I wrote in the book.  This is why I write in books – so I can go back and be encouraged, hopefully this list will encourage you: ( I wrote this list back in 1998 when I first read this book, I was 21 – thinking I would be married long before I was 34):

1.  Open your heart to him. Be honest in your feelings and thoughts.

2.  Praise him when he does something you ask him to do (even if its not the exact way you would have done it).

3.  Quickly do the things he has asked you to do.

4.  Resist the temptation to criticize your husband.

5.  Spend quality time with your husband: communicating, laughing, loving.

6.  Thank him for being the man of God He called him to be.

7.  Unite with him wholly.

8.  Value his opinions.

9.  Wait on him, don’t make haste judgments.

10.  Excel in things he may not do well.

11.  Yearn for his love, his companionship.

12.  Zealously serve the Lord.  In doing that, you will in turn serve your husband.

She brings him good, all the days of her life.  As I typed this list, I know who I learned much of that from, especially the last one.  I may have wrote those with a naive heart, but those are still true today.  May there come a time when I can practice those, but until then…I will do my husband good all the days of my life, and encourage you to do the same.

Wednesday Words: In the Garden

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This is probably going to be one of the “touchy-feely” hymns that I actually write about, but this song was sung yesterday at a funeral by my good friend Michelle, and her beauty and the words and my pastor’s wife’s talk on Monday night – all in all – this hymn needed to be shared today.

This picture is taken from my church’s hymnal from when I was growing up.  I have a copy of it that I took about 10 years ago when my church closed its doors.  I have many other old books from the church’s library, but I use this one most often.

Hymns of Grace is the title of this hymnbook – and this hymn talks about the grace that God provides to us by gracing us with His presence.  One of the young ladies I know asked me the other night “It is hard for me to have a relationship with someone who isn’t there, right beside me, how do I do that, how do you hear his voice.”  One of the ways I told her was through the Word.  That is why I love the Bible – it is the very words of God to me.

I come to the garden alone
While the dew is still on the roses
And the voice I hear falling on my ear
The Son of God discloses.

And He walks with me, and He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own;
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known.

He speaks, and the sound of His voice,
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,
And the melody that He gave to me
Within my heart is ringing.

I’d stay in the garden with Him
Though the night around me be falling,
But He bids me go; through the voice of woe
His voice to me is calling.

Three thoughts:

1.  He tells me I am His own.  Paul knew this (Acts 27).  The Psalmists knew it.  Isaiah knew it.  I know it.  I struggle with it at times.  Faith is constantly built up in Him.  It is by grace that I am His.  I cherish it.  This is what has to sustain us in every hour of every day.  Life will not always be what we think it should be  –  but our anchor must be in the truth that our GOD – we are His.

2.  The joy we share as we tarry there.  Are your times with God joyful?  Are they even a reality?  We get so busy that we don’t even take time to be with the God who cherishes us. 

3.  Is so sweet, the birds hush their singing.  Creation does the will of its Maker.  How much more so me?  I need to not only believe on the Word of God – but also act in obedience to it.

You don’t have to go to a garden, but I pray that you would find time to spend in quiet with your Maker.