2 Oct 2017

Counseling Under the Cross

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This October marks the 500th anniversary of what marks the beginning of the Reformation: the day when Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the door at Wittenberg.

New Growth Press and Bob Kellemen have offered a book that highlights some areas that can help all of us in our daily lives and for those of us in the business of Christian counseling, this book will help as well.

But, I would say, after knowing the personal help this book has given me, its encouragement, and its strength, that we all need to be in the business of counseling others with the Word of God – therefore, rightly, making all of us Christian counselors.

If we use the Word in our counseling, in our friendships, in our marriages, in our parenting, then we will have stronger and truer relationships because the Word of God is sufficient.  One of the marks of the Reformation was the 5 Solas – and one of them is Scripture Alone.  (I won’t go so far as to say that we don’t need any other kind of psychological help, but I do think the Word needs to be the base for all of our counseling.)

At first glance, I thought this book was out of my league.  But, then, as I sat with the table of contents, saw the method with which Bob tackled this topic, it was really quite user friendly and applicable.  He shares personal stories and letters of Luther to illustrate how he counseled with the Word of God alone – in these four areas: reconciliation, guidance, healing, and sustaining.  He broke up each one into the theology of Luther and then how Martin Luther put those theological ideas into practice with those he was in relationship with.

If you are looking for a new counseling book, or these topics (the 4 listed above) sound interesting to you, or you want to know more about the man and preacher and reformer, Martin Luther, then I really think this book will be helpful to you.

Thank you to Litfuse and New Growth Press for this book. All thoughts are my own.

 

29 Mar 2017

Mondays Are Not As Bad As They Seem

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Mondays are typically the day of the week that gets a bad rap.  I mean, just because its the start of the week and most people are coming off a fabulous weekend.

This past Monday our apartment complex booted us out of our parking lot for the day.  So, instead of sitting inside all day, we ventured to Senioa, a little town south of Atlanta.  We stopped by the Varsity on our way down there, eating chicken nuggets with paper hats on, and talking with the car hops.

Then we drove about 35 minutes and had the greatest afternoon.  We played with puzzles at the local library, we chased the ducks on the boys scooters, we threw pinecones in the lake, we played King of the Mountain.  It was finished off by some Baskin Robbins and dancing in our local store after eating Hulk ice cream!

This past month has been difficult for our preschoolers because we have moved yet again and they don’t always handle the unknown well.  I mean, they are 3 and 4.  Adults don’t often handle change well, much less kids.  We’ve tried to keep much of their lives the same, but still, we have had some difficulties.

I was first introduced to David Thomas and Sissy Goff on Surviving Sarah.  They are so practical in their counsel to parents.  I love them.  They have been super helpful in what I’ve heard.  I got their new book (along with Melissa Travathan) from Bethany House to review.  It is ideally for older children, but I found some of the topics still helpful for parenting my boys.

There are no SET guidelines for parenting – man, I wish there were.  But, as the perfect Creator God has designed every child perfect and unique – every one will develop differently. My boys are no exception.

Are My Kids on Track is a tool to help parents know how their children are doing in the areas of social, emotional, and spiritual growth.  Maybe you are wondering why your child is behaving a certain way in school, or why they don’t want to sit down and listen to family devotions.

Some parents would chalk this up to sin and discipline them.  Maybe in some cases it is.  But, the authors get to the why your kids might be acting in the ways they are.

Definitely a good practical read for parents!

15 Apr 2015

Read This: Give Her Wings

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Give Her Wings

I feel like the title of the book should be a country song – but I won’t venture there.

This is a more serious book with a serious message, not appropriate for a country song.

Megan Cox has become a friend of mine through another friend, and she has such a heart for ministering to women who have come from situations that no woman would desire.  She shares much of her story in Give Her Wings, and that is one of the reasons that Give Her Wings is such a powerful book.  When women share their story, where God met them, how God brought them new life from death, created a new heart where only death lived, it is a miraculous story.

She shares her story in this book and offers hope and counseling to women who might be struggling in similar situations.  She ministers to women with God’s truth on her lips and understanding in her heart.  This book speaks of that understanding and also can be used as a guide in how to minister to hurting women.

One of the best things I’ve read in this book is the following:

“Speak God’s truth into her life.  She Scriptures that encourage and comfort.  Remind her she is not alone.  Bless her with the Word.  If she heads condemnation, her crisis of faith may very well tip to the wrong direction.” (pg 89)

There is a spot of time that women who are coming out of hurting relationships are open to hearing God’s truth. Relationships can be redeemed by God’s Love and Justice.  He can bring healing.  And it is books like this that offer that Love, hope, and truth to hurting women.

 

18 Apr 2013

Counseling with Hope

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“Hear my voice according to your steadfast love.” – Psalm 119.149a

This verse brought me much hope and rejoicing earlier this week.   But, how do we do this in our counseling of one another.

King David, the Psalmist, had written just verses before about a fervency in prayer – day and night.  In this verse he gives a clue as to why he liked to pray: he knows that God will answer him and hear his voice according to the LOVE and covenantal character of God.  He wouldn’t listen and judge according to our sins.

This should be how we counsel with others.  I’ve never had counseling training, so you may not think I know what I’m talking about, but I’ve been counseling girls (youth, college) and now women in mentoring relationships for about 20 years now.  And I’ve needed counseling before.  When I was in seminary, I can remember a conversation with a girl I’ve discipled through the years (now one of my dearest friends) where both of us had taken a spiritual gifts inventory and both completely failed on the mercy part.  But, years later, after living much more of life, we had grown in that area because of the mercy God had shown on us.

So, here are some tips for counseling, or listening, to others:

1.  Listen.  That doesn’t mean formulating thoughts while they are talking.  This is hard for me, even in marriage, but one I constantly need to work on.

2.  Offer grace and hope.  If we are to be little Christs, and we are often committed to be like God in his nature, than shouldn’t we start there?  That is one of the reasons I love reading Elyse Fitzpatrick’s books on counseling.  The person may be coming to you admitting their sins, or may need their sins pointed out – in a loving way.  Learn to realize the difference or pray that God would show you wisdom in each conversation.

3.  Deal with the sin at hand.  Make sure that confession and repentance and pleasing Christ is the focus and goal of the session.  There is a difference between just saying you are sorry or admitting your wrong and actually confessing it and wanting to repent of it.  Make that the aim.

4.  Center the counseling on our hope.  Every person’s hope is Christ and Christ alone.  If we don’t counsel well, it will hinder some from wanting to know more about Christ or ever finding hope in the Gospel.  They will think they will only find judgment in the Bible and at the cross.  Yes, God is a God of justice but His wrath for believers was covered by Jesus.

If I have had a chance to counsel with you and have not offered you mercy, please forgive me, I am a work in progress too!

Charles Bridges, a pastor of old, “And not less fully is my conviction of his judgment, in dealing wisely and tenderly with me, according to his infallible perception of my need.”

4 Jan 2011

Best of 2010: Books I Read

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“Read or get out of the ministry” was a quote a I learned when I started seminary at SEBTS 11 years ago this month.  Yes, I do like to read, but I’m not a fast reader.  Love actual books – not electronic reading.  Love a pen in hand, book in hand, maybe a drink in hand – its a good life!  I read 28 books in 2010.  My goal for 2011 is 52.  We’ll see.  Goals are goals.  They take work.  Here are some of my favorites:

1.  Mudhouse Sabbath: Lauren Winners.  Thanks to Janel for introducing me to this book.  Great Christian look at her Jewish upbringing and how she can still live the traditions and laws under the new grace of Jesus.

2.  What is the Gospel? by Greg Gilbert.  The coolest thing about this little book is that Greg, and his wife, Moriah, live out what he wrote in this helpful book.  Always a winner.

3.  Counsel from the Cross by Elyse Fitzpatrick.  So nourishing for the soul and especially to have walked through it over breakfasts with Becca.

4.  Girls Gone Wise by Mary Kassian.  Biblical truths for living out God’s Word in today’s world.

5.  Big Truths for Young Hearts by Bruce Ware.  Especially if you are a parent, or new in your faith – ok, everyone.  You need to read this book.  Theology 101 – or 99 – or 50. 

6.  Surprised by Grace by Tullian.  Meaningful commentary and life application on the book of Jonah.  You’ll never read Jonah the same again.

7.  Radical by David Platt.  I know this will be in almost everyone’s top 10 for 2010.  But, what are you going to do with what you read?

What are your reading goals for 2011?  What are your favorite books?  Do you have favorite authors?  What are you reading right now?