13 Nov 2017

9 Characteristics of Wise Parenting

by | posted in: Books, mothering, parenting, Uncategorized | 0

Six years ago, we were newly married, starting our journey together as husband and wife.  We weren’t even pregnant yet.  We decided we would go through the book of James together.  My husband memorized it. I prayed it daily for him, myself, us, and our future.  We entered into our marriage with difficult relationships around us.  We needed wisdom for how to navigate these relationships and for how to head into our future together.  James was a perfect book to study through as newlyweds.

Today, our boys are five and four.  And I’m going through the book of James again with a small group of women.  I need these verses and the Lord’s voice to enter in to my parenting and give me great wisdom as to how to parent these two little boys.  With the Lord’s help, not the world’s wisdom, we can parent well.

He has promised to help us.  He has promised to give wisdom to those who ask.  He has also given us His Word.  This is how the Lord defines wisdom from above.  How can we have parenting that is wise – with His wisdom.  The following is from James 3.

(Parenting) wisdom from above is pure.  It is not bought or coerced.  It is done with pure motives.  It is without error.  This is why we need Jesus in our parenting.  We are not perfect.  We will always fail in our parenting. Our boys do not ultimately need us – they need Jesus.

(Parenting) wisdom from above is peaceable.  Where we don’t raise our voices or cut off our children because we are doing something and they are interrupting.  We seek to bring peace (not fairness) to our children’s lives when they are interacting with each other.  I seek to appease and pacify, but I find it truly difficult to bring peace in our home.  That is why our sons need Jesus – He is our Prince of Peace.

(Parenting) wisdom from above is gentle.  Amazingly I find this difficult unless I’m showing affection.  I get irritable because I’m being interrupted.  I am not gentle if they are doing something wrong.  I need a Gentle Shepherd to shepherd my heart so I can in turn shepherd my children’s hearts.

(Parenting) wisdom is open to reason.  This is getting easier for me, by the grace of God.  Open to reason in parenting is (I think) being willing to hear help from others.  These tips and help may come from my husband, my friends, my pediatrician, books I’m reading, etc.  Find those moms and dads who are (generally) ahead of you in the parenting game and seek them to pour into your life as a parent.  Watch them.  Learn from them.  And that is why we need Jesus, He is all-wise and the perfect teacher.

(Parenting) wisdom from above is full of mercy.  Isn’t God so rich in mercy!  I love it.  I apply this to some discipline.  And hear me out – this does not mean never disciplining your children when they have disobeyed.  This means walking in step with the Savior who showed you great mercy and plead with them to know how to interact with your children at all times.  They may have done something wrong.  And the best way to show them Jesus in that particular moment is by talking to them about Jesus – not giving them a timeout or spanking.  Jesus is lavish in mercy to us!

(Parenting) wisdom from above is full of good fruits.  Abundantly pouring out in good fruits.  This is an opportunity for you to encourage your kids.  One saying we use in our our is “God is helping you become more…”  We don’t want to tell our kids that they are acting better to focus on their good works.  We want to help them realize that everything good in them is from God.  And to not wait for the big things they do, but be encouraging them in the times you see any kind of good fruit – even a little bud.  And Jesus helps us bear fruit if we abide in Him!

(Parenting) wisdom from above is impartial . See the pure paragraph above.

(Parenting) wisdom from above is sincere.  It is hard to be a mom.  Even those who love being a mom every moment find some moments hard.  But, let us sincerely think about Jesus has called us to.  To shape little hearts and minds.  To point them to Christ.  To grow little boys into men who will one day shape the world around them.  Jesus sincerely came to this world to save us.

(Parenting) wisdom from above will reap a harvest.  We can definitely know that God will bless efforts to shepherd our children and reward us.  It is a promise.  And he is faithful.

One tool I’ve found in helping me pass on wisdom to my children – and hope in the Gospel – is Pass it On by Champ Thornton.  It is a Bible study on Proverbs, with a great introduction to the book, commentary some, focusing on the Gospel (how Jesus fulfills wisdom).  But it is also a journal for you to fill out and pass along your thoughts to your children.  I’ve started doing this for my sons.  It could be used once a week, 30 minutes, and it would take you less than a year for each kid.  What a treasure it would be for your children.

Pass It On was given to me by Litfuse.  All thoughts are my own.

 

21 Oct 2017

Lavish Hospitality 19

by | posted in: 31days, lavish hospitality, mothering | 0

What is the goal of motherhood?

You know what – I don’t know.  I don’t have all the answers.

Basically – here is what I think the goal of motherhood it is.

With God’s grace, shepherd your children to see their need of Him.  If along the way you teach them how to do well in school, be model citizens, grow up to be a great wife or husband, be honorable, then they are good side effects.

But, the goal of motherhood is to point them to their Creator.  And point them is all we can do.  That has been the hardest thing for me to come to grips with – I can’t save my kids.  Only God can save my kids.

And, if we attempt to put on a mask of motherhood perfection – we are not being hospitable. Not to ourselves, our kids, our husbands, or our friends.  We will only let ourselves down.

Quote from Beyond Bath Time by Erin Davis

19 Oct 2017

Lord Have Mercy

by | posted in: Books, mothering, parenting | 0

As mamas, we all need help – and having resources to help us in our journey with God, especially in the little years that can be so lonely, help tremendously.

Lord Have Mercy is a devotional written by Ellen Miller for moms – and it doesn’t matter what stage your kids are in.

I love how it is saturated with Scripture.  I love how they are short because you know that moms don’t have all the time in the world to do a quiet time.  I love it how it is practical and calls you to action.

But, I don’t really see that it is so much better than other Mom devotionals out there – or even devotionals in general.  I just didn’t strike me as a must read or must recommend.  It may be perfect for another mom, and it is saturated with the Word of God, but just a personal opinion.

Thanks Tyndale House for the book. All opinions are my own.

18 Oct 2017

Lavish Hospitality 17

by | posted in: 31days, Books, lavish hospitality, mothering | 0

As a mom of two preschoolers, two things I think about the most of anything is my children’s safety and their eternal life.  One I can do something about and one I can only point them in the right direction.

Its funny, this week my 4 year old had 5 shots and 1 toe prick to draw some blood.  All routine for a 4 yo check up.  As I was holding his arms across his chest as they were sticking the needles in his thighs, I watched him scream over and over again.  I didn’t feel like I was providing much safety for him.  And after the pricks were over, he was calling for Daddy – all he wanted to do was go see Daddy.  To have Daddy hold him.

Now, if something happens when Daddy is around, then he calls out for me.  So the kid can’t make up his mind.

And now thinking back, I think of me, holding his arms down, covering his face to he couldn’t see the needles being put into his legs, closing my eyes in tears as he screamed, wondering if he would ever trust me again.

Isn’t that often how God is.  We are safely in his arms.  Being held in the palms of his hands, nothing can take us out of his grip.  But, how often does his face cover our screams?  How often do you think that God cries and longs for our hearts when we are hurting?

On this earth, I think we are to be “little Christs”.  So, we are to be Jesus with skin on.  Being hospitable to people may be holding them in their pain, letting them cry, catching their tears.  My husband often does this.  And I think of the safety I feel in his arms.  And it makes me long for the Savior – who will never hurt me but was hurt for me.  So that I may rest secure in Him.

Quote taken from a new book by Lavon Gray (thanks New Hope Publishers) Tuning Your Heart to Worship

15 Oct 2017

Lavish Hospitality 14

by | posted in: 31days, lavish hospitality, mothering | 0

One of the deals with motherhood is that you tend to get interrupted.  Whether you need to change a diaper in the middle of a church service, breast feed in the middle of the night, calm an anxious heart in the wee hours of the morning, get out of bed before your alarm clock goes off because a preschooler wants some juice.  It might be to miss out on something you want to attend because you have a teenager who needs to get somewhere.

Interruptions come.  That’s just a fact of life.  The life of a mother, that is.

And I’ve learned that it usually doesn’t make me smile when I get interrupted.  I like to do what I’m doing and that’s that.  Whether its making dinner, working on a blog, or running errands, I want to do them how I want to do them.

I need God our gracious Father to show up in my heart and mouth and face when my little boys interrupt me.  I need to be ready to color with them, read with them, talk with them about the same topic I’ve already talked about for 4 hours that day, sing one of their songs for the 30th time, and watch the same kids movie with them that they know by heart.

Thanks to Sandra for writing this blog post where I pulled this quote.

2 Oct 2017

Celina Maternity Summer Session

by | posted in: kcreatives photography, mothering, photo shoot | 0

I’ve been a little busy in the last few months, moving, etc, that I’ve not been able to blog about this little maternity session yet.  And yes, the little sweet boy is over a month old now – but I still wanted to share these photos with you.  I’m so thankful for the friendship of this mama, and all of her creative help and encouragement over the last few years.

Thanks to the beautiful Mommy model, Celina D, and Kandi Daniel Studios for coming along too!  We shot at Turnipseed Farm south of metro ATL.  Such a fun day.

2 May 2017

Best Ways to Pamper Mom (giveaway)

by | posted in: mothering | 16

May is here in all its gorgeousness and it is a month to celebrate moms.  Moms all play a special role in our lives (whether birth, foster, adopted, or mentor mom).  We owe a lot to our moms: knowing how to tie our shoes, feeding us, making our school lunches, driving carpool, talking late in to the night about first boyfriends, being our biggest cheerleaders, praying for us, celebrating our biggest and smallest victories.  The list never ends.

How do you celebrate your mom?  Or another way to ask it: how would you like to be celebrated?  This is a list of the ways that would be good to pamper me with – and hopefully you can get some ideas to pamper your mom with (or give the list to your husband and ask him).

  1.  A night away or a weekend away (solo or a couple’s weekend – no kids).  This is honestly what I ask for every year.  Depending on our budget it might be a day or night away by myself or just a day in town doing my favorite things without the kids.  The top three within a few hours of ATL that I would love to stay at is: Old Edwards Inn, Blackberry Farm, or Serenbe.  We’ve celebrated a birthday at Serenbe, but would love the chance to stay there and eat at their amazing restaurant.  Of course for me, the beach is ideal, and I’m always home there, but right now its a little far for an overnight.  It if were a luxury beach trip, I’d stay here.  This year for me I’m getting a day off to do some things I love.  I’m heading south of ATL to do a styled shoot then stay and enjoy brunch, coffee, hiking, exploring, shopping, all by myself, which is so refreshing.

2.  A great meal.  We moms usually spend a lot of time in the kitchen or the drive-thru line or the grocery store.  It is fun to be able to eat without working for it.  My mister and I are going to a new-to-us place in Buckhead this May.  My mister and I love food.  For us though, we’ve learned that we love good food but the prices are so high for good food here in ATL, that we’d rather just cook it at home after the boys go to bed.  And we love to cook for each other.

 

3.  Gifts.  My mister and I love giving gifts.  When our bank account doesn’t let us give as big or as often as we would like, we have to get creative.  Something both of us do for each other is we keep a gift list.  It is a google doc list that both of us can always see and edit, and we love to surprise each other when we can.  Right now, here are some of the things on my list.  A subscription to this magazine, a gift card to this place (my fave in ATL), or concerts to some of my favorite artists.

4.  Pampering.  What woman doesn’t enjoy some pampering from time to time?  Whether its a facial or a massage, a manicure or a pedicure, time at the spa is usually quiet and wonderful.  But, sometimes you can’t get to the spa.  Its hard especially with young kids.  Well, if you don’t have time or money to get away to a spa this Mother’s Day, I’ve got a special package just for you. The ladies at Moody Sisters, who I have worked with before creating delicious healthy recipes, have given me a special Spring package just for you, a blessed winner.  The set you will receive if you win includes: this scrub, this lotion, and this powder.  I’ve been using this for the last month and love it.  My face always feels super soft after the scrub.  My skin feels refreshed in the morning when I wake up (even my hands, because of course that’s how I put on the scrub).  The floral smell reminds me of spring in the South so I definitely love that.  Moody Sisters makes all of their skin care line with natural ingredients.  I love how they interact with their customers and want to make you feel special, especially as a Mom this Mother’s Day.  And you don’t have to leave your house to be pampered.  After your kids go to bed, turn on a shot bath or shower, play some music, use these Moody Sister’s products, and you’ll be all set!

So, here’s how you get entered to win.

  1.  Leave a comment on the blog telling me what your favorite Mother’s Day gift would be.
  2. For another entry: go over to Moody Sisters and tell me what you would like to use next.

And to all you mamas out there – you are loved.  You are delighted in.  You are seen and known.

You’ll also get some lovely goodies from me.  This post is sponsored by Moody Sisters and all thoughts are my own.

27 Apr 2017

The Magic of Motherhood (a review)

by | posted in: Books, mothering, parenting, Women | 16

Ok – I’m not really a coffee fan.  My mister wishes I would be, so we could sit at places and have cheap drinks (regular black coffee) and talk for hours on end.  But, the drinks I like are 5$ so not quite as cheap.

But, I might go drink coffee after reading the Magic of Motherhood.  Let me explain.

When you go to coffee with a friend, a true friend, one who shares your worldview, who champions what you are doing, who rejoices with you in the good, who encourages you even on the hard days.  Or maybe its not coffee, but you have a margarita at their house, or enjoy some chips and guac together, or eat a bagel together, or a cupcake…friends you are comfortable with.  Yeah, those friends…

That’s how I felt when I was reading The Magic of Motherhood.  I felt I was chilling with some close friends, friends who were able to share whatever was on their heart, knowing that they shared the same biblical worldview as me (value of their children, value of being a mother, knowing that God loves them and has a great plan for their lives, knowing that we can’t do this thing called motherhood without the Gospel).

These friends knew they wouldn’t face judgment or shame for sharing what was on their hearts.  These friends knew I would encourage them with truth.

My favorite genre of books is memoir/biography.  I love the fact that the authors of memoirs feel the freedom to share what has gone on in their lives (the good, the bad, and the stuff you’d like to forget), and not feel that they would be punished for it.  They were sharing what was going on in their lives so that others might be encouraged or learn from their lives.  In biographies, we often learn that the people we look up to or admire don’t (or didn’t in some cases) have it all together.

In today’s Christian circles, we often feel like we have to put on a show to others like we have it all together.  Or, we have to couch everything in quoting Bible verses so people will think that our hearts are saturated with truth (which they hopefully are but sometimes we do this just so people will not see the hurt in our hearts and any doubts we might have).  When it comes to parenting, I’ve had experiences of shame and judgment when I’ve shared the struggles that I’ve had with motherhood.  And I’ve experienced shame because my kids don’t always act perfect in public.

The Magic of Motherhood was like just sitting, reading, knowing I wasn’t alone, knowing that God is in charge and brings good, and we do go through hard stuff as mothers.  And we won’t like every moment of it.  And not once did I hear “the days are long but the years are short” or “enjoy every moment of it”.  I read about real mamas who were sharing real struggles, real joys, real moments.  And they even talked about their jobs and their husbands – knowing that when we are mamas life still goes on outside of our children.

If you are needing some encouragement along the motherhood journey, this is a good quick encouraging, non-notetaking, read.  You can sit with a cup of coffee, in your yoga pants, and you don’t have to have a pen.

Thanks Tommy Nelson for this book.  And you can win one – just tell me something you find fun about motherhood.

10 Jan 2017

Building Bedtime Memories (giveaway)

by | posted in: Bible, Books, mothering, parenting | 3

At the end of the day, motherhood can require a lot of us and we can be exhausted.  We might be longing for a glass of wine, a dessert, a bubble bath, or just the ability to sit down and binge on Fixer Upper.

But, if we are faithful in finishing the day well with our children, we will reap the blessings.  I am usually the one the put our sons to bed since my mister works retail and most evenings he gets home after bedtime.  Depending on how the day has gone, I’m really just ready to turn off their lights and shut their doors.  After brushing teeth of course!

I want to improve on my daily time with them at bed time. If my mister is home, we read a Bible story and each have time with one of our boys.  I usually take the older and tuck him in or read him some Little House (we are working through this series).  He sings the younger one a song and tucks him all in nice and tight.

The area I want to improve is the nights when I’m by myself, to actually read them a Bible story, pray with them, and then spend time with each of them in their rooms.  Singing or reading or just talking.  It may take an extra ten minutes, but I know that time is precious and I won’t get that back.

The resource we are going through now is the Bedtime Read and Rhyme Bible Stories.  I like it more than I thought I would – and I usually continue the rhyme well after I’m done reading.  It is note quite as crazy as Dr Seuss, but still fun.  The pictures are engaging for the kids and the rhymes make it fun.  Then the prayers at the end of each story allow us to focus our prayers at the end of the day.

How do you need to rescue or reprise bedtime?  What have you read at bedtime or done that makes that transition easier?

You can answer the questions above for an opportunity to get this hardcover book for you and your family.  Thanks Tommy Nelson Mommies for the book. All opinions are my own.

6 Dec 2016

When Does Momma Get a Sabbath?

by | posted in: Books, mothering, parenting | 1

Mom Sabbath

Not a day goes by hardly where I don’t see a mom on facebook who is crying out for time away, a little time to herself, or is enjoying a much needed break.

This is how I understand the Word “Sabbath”: resting from work.  God instituted the first Sabbath by resting from the creative process of the world.  He rested, examining all He had made.  Resting in its goodness.  Resting from work.  People in the work force usually get a day off during the week (at least one) and that helps invigorate them, giving them rest from their working.

Mommas don’t get a Sabbath.  24-7 we are thinking about our kids, washing clothes, changing diapers, driving, being a doctor-on-call, disciplining, loving, reading books, cooking, making juice cups.  No matter how old your child is, mommas never rest from being a mom.  So, the question needs to be asked, when does a Mom get a Sabbath?

Our older son is now coming in to Sunday night church with us.  My husband and I have worked out a schedule for who gets to hang out with him during the service: reading books, playing, drawing, sticking dinosaur stickers everywhere, etc.  When my mister is off on a Sunday, I hang out with Elijah in the pew.  If he works that afternoon, then he gets to focus on our son during the service.  I know one day will come when he can sit and completely focus on the service for 75 minutes, but he’s not there yet.  So, we want each other to get some time to focus on the service.  Its a good system.

One way my mister blesses me is giving me a regular Sabbath (a few hours) each week. On his day off, he will usually say something like “Go, have some quiet time.”  He plays with the boys or takes them to a park. I can go just sit in the Word, do errands, be creative, meet with a friend, etc.  That is my Sabbath.  I try not to use that whole time to run errands, but if I’m not doing it with two preschoolers, those errands don’t feel like work.  And usually once or twice a year, he will give me the whole day to go away, either with friends or by myself, to recharge, rest from being with the boys, feed my soul on the Word, read books, be in nature, etc.  I can tell you that every time this happens, I come back more readily able to care for my boys well.

Some people would say that mommas don’t need time away.  I would heavily disagree.  If men worked 24/7 without any break people would think he is crazy because he would have burnout, or wouldn’t be obedient in taking care of his body, etc.  But, if mommas ask for a break, most people say they are being selfish or aren’t being a good momma.  Need is maybe too strong of a Word, but God showed us how to take a Sabbath, it is one of the things He commands, and that is a weekly rest.  So, yes, I think it is a need.  You just have to figure out how to do it.

Letitia Suk encourages women to take a break too – to be with God, to be silent, to walk, etc.  She talks about how to retreat in Getaway with God.  This book was different then I thought.  She showed a lot of grace and variety.  It wasn’t a “this is how you do it” book.  It was here are some ideas, you are going to come against obstacles, here are ways to see if these retreats can work for you, etc.  If you are planning a spiritual retreat, especially, I would encourage you to pick this book up to read during your planning stages.

I know some of you might be wondering: I can never get my husband to play with the kids and give me time alone.  Or I am a single parent and can’t get time away.  Or, my husband’s schedule won’t allow it and we don’t have money for childcare.  Here are some thoughts:

Talk to your husband.  Talk to him about your need for a Sabbath.  Start small. Maybe request 2 hours, or 3.  Work your way up to a whole day.

If your kids are small, see if you can swap with a friend so both of you can have a few hours of Sabbath to yourself.

If your kids are in school, use that school time to retreat and rest.

If you don’t have money for childcare – I think this is where your community (or church) comes in.  We should be able to ask for help – and people should ask us how they can help, be willing to serve and be served.  I know its hard.

Whatever you do, don’t go without rest from being a Momma. Its seriously rewarding and seriously hard!  God gives us the much grace that we deserve!

Thanks to Litfuse for the book.  All opinions are my own.