23 Mar 2015

God’s Delight in Pre-Teen Girls (Book Giveaway)

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, parenting, Shepherding Children | 10

(This post is sponsored by Tommy Nelson Mommies: they give me free books – and allow you to win them – in exchange for my review of them. All opinions are my own.)

One of the first things we learn as believers (or are taught in Christian learning) is “God created everything.” I already teach that truth to my boys. We love the verses that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” and “created in God’s image”

But, somehow, I think it is a very easy truth to learn and put into belief the older we get. I remember being a pre-teen girl. I was overweight, wore glasses, didn’t have great hair, had zits, wasn’t all the cool, wanted to be cool, had a crush on the cool guy, started my period, looked different than most of the girls in my class, it wasn’t easy.

I believed lies. I desired popularity. I earnestly tried so hard to fit in. But, one of the things I don’t remember reminding myself of is that God created me perfectly in his image and has a plan for my life.

Then, I graduated high school and started college. I taught 7th grade co-ed Sunday School for 3 straight years. I still keep in touch with some of those girls. There were (and still are) so many battles pre-teen and teen girls face. But, there is only one answer. God’s truth.

My first devotional when I was in 10th grade was Spirit Wings by Ken Burns. I loved it at the time. I was just learning how to have a quiet time thanks to my youth pastor and youth workers. Quiet time material has come a long way. I think it is an important discipline for kids of any age to learn. Taking time each day to talk with God, read His Word, and listen to Him.

You, as a parent to them, have a vital role in this. You can not only model this for them, but also teach them how to do it for themselves, and engage with them after their quiet time. Ask them what they learned. Ask them what they read. Ask them important questions of how they might apply it to their heart that God is in the process of making new and making to look like Christ’s.

Tommy Nelson has put out resources for quiet times for pre-teen or young teen girls called Brave Girls. The two I have for the purpose of this blog is Faithful Friends (on friendships and relationships) and Better Than Perfect (on self-image and how to relate to this world in light of the Word). Each day is a 1-2 page read. Starts out with Scripture, then there is a story, lesson, truth, completely applicable to this time in their lives, and finishes with questions and prayers.

One way I think it could be better would be to bring everything in every story under the Cross of Christ – but I do think these are really really good and can be a great help to you as a parent in giving your daughter some solid material. And, as you talk with your daughter and engage with her in what she is reading, you can tie everything back to the Gospel.

So, if you would like a chance to win these books, please comment with the answer to one of these two questions.

1. What was the first devotional book you read (besides the Bible)?

2. How do you train your children to have their own quiet time?

30 Oct 2014

Daniel Tiger and Moral Behaviorism

by Kimberly | posted in: mothering, parenting, Shepherding Children | 0

The only show that my toddlers watch 5-7 days out of the week is Daniel Tiger. We only have Netflix so I can just put one on in the morning as I’m cleaning up from breakfast before we go out to do any errands or go to Bible study. Both of my little boys love it.

I do believe my older son’s first sentence was (in his own language) “Daniel Tiger rides a school bus”. School bus is his term for anything that moves that’s big. And my younger son does The Twist when the theme music begins.

I love that the show is based on Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, which I loved as a child. Teaches good things to kids and helps them learn social behavior that is acceptable. My mister even was telling me the other night that he was able to put a Daniel Tiger song into practice during a conversation with some co-workers.

And I write this blog post from a stand point of a Mom who is in the throws of trying to get my two year old to behave. I’m trying to teach him about authority and what is right and wrong. When not to run away, why shoving his brother is wrong, how to share toys, why we don’t spit out food onto the table, why we don’t pitch fits when we leave time with Daddy at his store, why we don’t scream in the car long enough to make his brother cry.

Daniel Tiger is great at teaching what to do and how to be nice while doing it – playing nicely with others. Obeying your parents, giving hugs, etc. But, if that is all we teach our children as Christian parents, than we are missing the (gospel) boat entirely.

When my son disobeys, like he is right now because I’ve asked him to be quiet and play in his room or take a nap and he is singing and talking at the top of his lungs, I have trouble because I go to him and I say “I love you, E, BUT I really want you to obey Mommy.” When I should be saying “I love you E AND I really want you to obey Mommy. Here are some truths I’m learning about this way of parenting:

1. My love for my sons should not be conditional upon their obedience. I remember asking my Mom one time decades ago what she would do if I or my brother killed someone. She said I’d still love you, pray for you, and I’d turn you in. Good job, Mom! They should not have to work for my love or my snuggles. The Bible is very clear on this in Romans 5.10

2. Our children should learn how to have good behavior. Not by bribing, not by rewarding, not be yelling – but just because that is what is expected of them as one of our children. I don’t want to raise two little Pharisees, I want to raise little boys who see their need for a Savior. My Mister and I have been talking about this, especially now that our older one has gotten to a point where he completely understands what we are saying when we are trying to get him to obey. A sweet friend who is years ahead of me in parenting told me that these early years are for your children to learn that the parents are the authority. If they don’t learn that, they will have a harder time learning God’s authority. And that is where we definitely want to point them. One key Scripture is Ephesians 6:1-4

3. The main point of the Gospel is not so we will be better Christians. The Gospel is not there to tell us how to be good. It is actually the opposite. The Gospel tells us that we can’t be good and we can’t obey. The sin nature living in us makes us want to do our own things. Only turning our lives over to Jesus and relying on the Holy Spirit to shape us and live through us will work. Believing through faith is salvation. That faith is given to us. Out of a heart that has been changed will come right obedience. See Romans 6-8 and Ephesians 2.

4. We have to discipline, love and teach the Bible to our children through the eyes of the Gospel. We can’t teach them Bible stories that will lead them to share better, be kind more, or obey. We need to teach discipline, love, and teach them so they see Jesus in EVERYTHING. We must be the ones who share the Gospel with our children.

After all, that is our biggest job as Christian parents. Show the Gospel to our children. And pray the Holy Spirit will turn their little hearts.

23 Oct 2014

Teaching Children to be Readers

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, Kids r Readers 2, mothering, parenting, Shepherding Children | 1

Being a parent is amazing and hard and always full of new moments. But, this moment we are in right now is something I’ve waited for. “Mommy” then I get a little pat on my leg and I see my older toddler standing there in front of me with a book in his tiny hands. Begging for me to read to him. So, I do. Over and over again.

There is a certain train book from Usborne books (gift from Oma) that he has carried everywhere – coffee shops, hikes, car trips, gym kid’s club – and Daddy has even had to tape it up. It came with a little train – sometimes we can find it sometimes we can’t. But, no matter – he has other cars that will work on its tracks – or at least work for him.

One of the things I want to instill most in my kids (besides a love for God) is a love of reading. I love to read and I know how books take you to other places, teach you so much more than you could ever learn, and also put a desire in you to see the world around you. C S Lewis and L. M. Montgomery are two of those authors for me. I have a feeling the boys will love L. A. Wilder, C. S. Lewis, J. R. R. Tolkien, and Andrew Peterson. We shall see. Can’t wait to actually read chapter books with them at night. But, that is a moment in time later to come.

How can you instill a love of reading in children?

1. Use the library. We go to the library some for story time. My boys are harder to sit still than some others but we still attempt it and its good song and play time too. The public libraries, especially in bigger cities, are great resources (and free)!

2. Buy them books. Buy them at thrift stores, online book clubs, ask for them for presents.

3. Read to them. Use some time before bed, or after breakfast to read to them. It teaches them to pay attention and sit still but also helps stir up an amazing appetite to read.

4. Be patient with them as they learn to read. My boys aren’t to that stage yet, but I have to be willing as their Mommy to be patient, let them stumble over words, help them when I need to, and listen to them.

5. Encourage them to write their own stories. This time will come too. I still have the first book I wrote in 4th grade – all about animals. I can’t wait to show it to our boys. I hope they will love it and not laugh!

6. Read different genres. As a gospel Christian, I do like to read boys about Jesus to them. But…I love to read them other books about the world God created and things that happen in it and teach them about a Christian worldview – seeing everything through the lens of the Gospel. That is so important to teach to our children early in their learning adventure.

My friend Leah is an Usborne consultant. They have delightful and interactive books for children of all reading levels. Here is a link to an online party I am hosting for her. I have been pleased with the Train book so far – and so has our toddler. I’m sure you will find some your children like as well.

What are your favorite books to read to your children?

11 Oct 2014

Let There Be Kisses

by Kimberly | posted in: mothering, parenting, Shepherding Children, Uncategorized | 2

I will be the first to admit of multitasking while my boys are awake. If they are playing, I am on my phone, cooking dinner, cleaning, reading a book, etc. And I’m not hear to lay blame on anyone else who does that. Rest in grace, friend. Walk in grace. Live in grace. That’s what my husband tells me.

Here’s what I am learning: let there be kisses. and tickling. and book reading.

My older son who just turned two is just now loving to bring me a book (usually the Wheels on the Bus) and pat my legs which is asking me to put him on my lap so I can read to him. I first told him no, then immediately was so convicted by the Spirit that I’ve not told him no since. It devastated my heart that I would tell my sons no to something as fun as reading a book to them just because I wanted to do something else. So, even today, as he finished lunch, he ran and got a book, and we read and sang and played with cars at the table while his little brother tried to hold his sippy cup and ended up getting more milk on him than in his tummy. That’s life.

Much of this denial that I give my sons is based on two things:

1. I think what I have my schedule is more important. Blogging. Writing. Cleaning. Being entertained with social media. It all comes down to pride. I don’t want our family’s schedule to be dominated by the boys – but I do want there to be much more book reading, hand holding, tickle fests than instagram feed reading. What do I want to communicate: verbally and non-verbally to my boys? That they are important and time with them is something I cherish – or that things and strangers are more important? What you communicate in your actions also gives you the door to speak the Gospel into their lives every day.

2. I try to fill our days with too many things. We love to be out and about during the days that Daddy is working. We’ll either go to the park, the mall, the zoo, Bible study at church, the gym, the river, etc. Atlanta is full of fun activities for families – so we take advantage of many of them. But, then when we are home I have so much to get done. I’m not thinking about stopping going so much – I just will have to limit what I think has to be done. I’m reading Challies’ series on getting things done and it helps me to realize that I’m not God and won’t accomplish everything. And everything doesn’t have to be accomplished. Energy is a commodity too.

My boys won’t be little long. The days are sometimes long and I look forward to having breaks with friends or solo times for being in the word or just running errands. But, I love their laughs and hand-holding. My Mister said last night that we better relish the times that they are excited to see us when we pick them up – because that always won’t be the case. I know it won’t be forever and my boys will stop wanting to sit on my lap for reading sessions, or stop laughing when I tickle them, or they won’t want me to kiss them goodnight.

Until then, let there be kisses. Everything else will wait!

30 Sep 2014

Starting Family Food Traditions

by Kimberly | posted in: food, mothering, parenting, Shepherding Children, Treasured Traditions, Truly Families | 1

Family and food. Those two words often go together for most people. Whether you wake up and cook pancakes on Saturday mornings, have a weekly pizza night, or always make certain Christmas cookies around the holidays – there are some things food always brings to the table. Maybe you always go to a certain restaurant for special meals, or maybe you have your grandmother’s recipe for gingerbread and her worn cloth apron that she would wear as she labored hard over her yeast rolls. Smell in the memories.

Growing up, we didn’t have a lot of these. We loved food – don’t get me wrong. There are a few things: smoked mullet, Granny’s chicken and rice, and Dad’s creole black eyed peas every New Years. Those are good traditions and I even introduced my mister to Papa’s smoked mullet a few years back. However, I want more.

As a wife and a mother of two littles, I want to create traditions, with the OK of my mister, that will do two things:

1. Provide a way to create memories for our family.

2. Help us to see the goodness of God to our family.

Here are three that we have started, and I will explain these two above points as we go along.

Weekly Pizza Night : making it, Little Caesars, store bought – just a night for pizza (and leftovers of course). Who doesn’t like cold pizza for breakfast. Hold the olives, please!

Weekly trips to Trader Joe’s and Ray’s Donuts. I am so grateful that my husband makes time to keep the boys while I go grocery shopping. I seldom go with them anymore because even if I’ve just fed them, they will eat the produce in the cart. Not going to happen. But, I like taking them to Trader Joe’s on Monday mornings. We get TJ cinnamon cookies, try new products, and make all the clerks smile. Building relationships. Its important. And happy boys. Also, we’ve started going to Ray’s Donuts in Marietta (amazing donut holes) one day each week. Nothing fancy, but good donuts. We spent 1.80 this morning, hung out with some friends who joined us, and ate donuts. It was so much fun wiping down my boys’ fingers with a wet wipe because they had glaze in between their little fingers and on the corners of the their lips.

Homemade Pad Thai for New Years. I am definitely southern and like greens and black eyed peas – but I wanted to do something different. So, last year the Mister and I said we would do this. I want to teach my boys to love it – and to teach them to love the different cultures of the world.

Our family is just starting out, but so far I’m building relationships that can hopefully spread into opportunities to share the gospel and I can teach our boys to be thankful for pizza, donuts, and pad thai. God is so good to us. Whether its an additional 5$ for pizza on a Sunday night – where we can rest and enjoy one another and not dirty up a kitchen – or 1.80 for a mid-morning, mid-week fun time with mommy with sticky fingers. These boys will have memories.

What food memories are you creating for your family? We will install more just waiting to see what yumminess!

20 Aug 2014

Toddlers and Edible Finger Paint

by Kimberly | posted in: mothering, parenting, Shepherding Children | 0

Combining two of my loves – my boys and food. What could be greater?

Usually we go go go out of the house, but when Daddy is home, we like to chill and do something fun together. So, I saw a post from a NC blogger and new that if I could talk my Mister into it, then we would be doing this. My Mister loves to be neat and not get messy, but I convinced him to put aside his neat and tidy ways to let us all have some fun and then we would dump our boys into the bath! So, an adventurous morning we had!

My boys are all boys – which obviously that morning didn’t involve finger painting. What did they do? They headed straight for the rocks. That is all they cared about. So, bring on more rocks!

With this edible finger paint – you don’t get art (because it doesn’t harden) but you do get fun times in the back yard!

Items you need:

Small containers to put the finger paint in (I used tupperware small square containers)

Sweetened condensed milk

Food coloring

Newspaper or tarp of some sort

Diapered kids (better than ruining clothes)

Spoon

I poured some of the condensed milk in each of the container and put in some food coloring into each one, stirring it up, and gave each boy his own containers so there would be no fighting over them. That helped.

Then we laid out newspaper on our back porch (read slab of concrete) and stood back to see what would happen? Neither of them went for it. I helped BabyBach a little but Elibuddy was definitely more interested in the rocks.

So, what do we do with the extra? We are giving it to our neighbor who has two little girls. She said they love to color.

This can be a great way to get to know your neighbors who have young ones. Just bring them all to the back yard and let the silliness begin!

Then we just took their diapered little selves straight to the tub and gave them a long soak and scrub.

So – how do I think about this as shepherding my boys: God is a beautiful creator and has given us many things to enjoy : finger paint and rocks! Let them get messy, be creative, and have fun. Its a way we were created to worship!

5 Aug 2014

Teaching Children Theology: Jesus Loves Me

by Kimberly | posted in: Shepherding Children | 0

Music. You know that song that gets stuck in your head and you sing it for the next 4 days…as you bide your time waiting for another song to take its place?!

Its a small world…

This is the song that never ends…

Any Christmas carol…

One of the very first songs that most church kids learn is Jesus Loves Me. Simple. Catchy. Memorizable.

As I’ve been singing this with my children as we sit at the table or drive around town (Atlanta traffic usually offers much time for sitting in the car…still…on the interstate or at traffic lights)…I always get stuck on one line.

“For the Bible tell me so…”

Such a powerful truth of this song that is oft overlooked – and one that we as Christian parents need to teach our children from the beginning.

The Authority and Truthfulness of the Word of God.

If you don’t believe the Word is accurate and truthful and without error in what it says – then why believe it? That is precisely why I hate political ads in our country. You can never believe what is being said. There is no use even trying to figure it out. The good thing with the Bible is you don’t have to figure it out.

God said that the Word is true, living, active, useful for instruction.

The best thing the Bible teaches us is the Gospel. No other way will we know that we need a Savior but by the Word of God. And if we don’t believe what it says than how are we to believe what it says about us, or about Jesus, or about his love for us, His Children?

So, while you have the chance (Deuteronomy 6), please teach your children that God gave us His Word and it can be wholly believed and rested upon as they grow up, walk with Christ, and serve him in anyway He has for them.

Shepherding Children

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