27 Oct 2017

Lavish Hospitality 26

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One of the hindrances to genuine lavish hospitality is busyness.  Our schedules play a huge role in deterring community with others.

It might be busyness that affects relationships with our families: we aren’t intimate with our husbands or schedule dates because we are too busy with work, too tired from parenting, or we desire to rather hang out with friends or watch television.  We may not have good relationships with our children because we don’t think they are important enough we are always on our devices or scheduling them things to do so we don’t have to engage with them.

It might be busyness that affects relationships within our community.  I’ve learned this is most true in the past 4 years or so.  We’ve moved four times in four years (but most of those within the same city).  It has been amazingly difficult find community.  We are all busy.  Our families.  Our jobs.  Our schooling choices for our kids.  Our ministry involvement.  Where we choose to live.  How we spend our weekends.

I was talking to the mister the other day and we have always been on the same page about having an open home, people can come by anytime. We love having people over.  We want to get to know people.  Its terribly hard in groups to get to know people and build community.  Have you ever asked someone to hang out and it takes over a month to make the schedules work.  Or you hang out one time and it takes 6 months to do it again?

Our busyness is a community breaker.  And I think one way we can tackle the busyness domination is with the Spirit’s help.  Self-control.  We will continue this discussion later.

Quote taken from Lydia Brownback’s A Woman’s Wisdom

23 Oct 2017

Lavish Hospitality 21

by | posted in: 31days, Books, lavish hospitality | 0

Friendship is such an avenue for hospitality.

And you know it well:

Think of the friend that you can just pop in and see and it doesn’t matter what their house looks like or what they are wearing.  I read in a study recently that teenagers have more of a self-image problem because of selfies – you could just hang out and not care what you look like, but now everyone is doing instastories and selfies all the time – you have to always care what you look like.

Think of the friend that you text or call first when something hurts you.  Or when there is something to rejoice over!

Think of the friends that you text or call when there is a crisis and you need prayer.  I know I have a short text list of ladies I know who will pray for me as soon as I text them.

Think of the friend that you want to share your struggles with – whether they are struggles in your marriage, in parenting, or in your business.

Friendships like these don’t come along all the time.  And they also don’t come by way of social media.

These types of friendships take countless hours interacting, journeying life together, sitting in coffee shops, skyping or talking on the phone, or pulling up a barstool to the kitchen counter.

Quote from Maggie Brendan’s new book Trusting Grace

19 Oct 2017

Lavish Hospitality 18

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Update on this blog series:

Thanks for reading.  I’m learning new ways to practice hospitality – I hope you are too.  I just had a good friend design a cover for the e-book that I hope will come out early 2018 (or regular book if anyone wants to publish it.).  I will start pulling all these quotes from each day and writing in November!

Today’s post is about something that effects and affects every area of hospitality.  Our humility.  Left to ourselves we are not humble people.  We are prideful and only care about ourselves.  Our rights.  Our ways.  Our happiness.  The selfie-generation didn’t just start a few years ago.  It has always been.

With our God: come to Him with our weariness. He will give rest.  Come to him with honor and adoration – He will show Himself to us.  Come to Him with our desires – He will fill our hands.

With our spouses: Put their needs above our own.  Seek to outdo one another in showing honor.  My husband excels at this – all.the.time.  He has told me in recent weeks that I’ve grown in humility in the time that he’s known me.  That is in direct correlation to God putting him in my life almost 7 years ago now and the work of the Spirit in my heart.

With our children: We mess up as mamas.  When I mess up (often), I will usually go to my kids, get right in their faces (affection), and talk to them really softly and gently.  I think I do this because I want to mend the brokenness, and act in opposite fashion than I just did: loud, harsh, pushing them away.

With our community: When you open your home to people who don’t live within our houses, we speak volumes to their need – and our need.  Our need for community.  That alone speaks of humility because it says that we are not enough in and of ourselves.  God made us for community.  He made us for relationship.  I stink at this sometimes, especially when going out.  I was a poor representation of the gospel this past week at a new friends.  It had been a bad day, it was my son’s birthday, and I don’t think I barely looked anyone in the eyes and I just barely answered their questions.  I didn’t want to be there and others could tell.  I can’t go back – but I can move forward out of my brokenness and let Him do a new thing.

Quote taken from Lord Have Mercy (Ellen Miller).  Photo by Evergold Photography of a cupcake I made.

14 Oct 2017

Lavish Hospitality 13

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I don’t think I really knew much of pain until after midway through college.

And then it has been full force since then.

The agonizing words of a friend over my appearance and the fact that I was never going to get married.

The words of a man that questioned so much of my future.

The pain of hearing lies.

The loss of a relationship.

The bitterness of my own sin.  Time and time again.

Sting of another betrayal.

Being met with judgment and not grace.

Loss of so many friendships – all at once.

And then to have to start to build relationships again.  And again.

At 40 it is tough to build relationships with new people.  Mommy friends.  Couple friends.  You know, every one has their own set of friends with not much room for new people.  And remembering the hurt of past relationships doesn’t make you too eager to put yourself out there again.

But, that’s what Lavish Hospitality does.  Jesus was hurt more than we could ever imagine.  I can’t fathom that.  And I’ve not been hurt near as much as some.  But, Christ took that pain – all of it – and died for it – then defeated death so we wouldn’t have to agonize over the pain any more.

We could feel again.  We could love again.  We could have broken relationships restored.  Because of Christ’s lavish hospitality on us.

Quote taken from Ashleigh Slater’s Braving Sorrow Together.

12 Oct 2017

Lavish 11

by | posted in: 31days, Bible, lavish hospitality | 4

There are times I fail at hospitality.  And, yes, fail is a strong word.  Most will probably say just practicing it is enough, but for me, I want to do it right.  So, there is often a struggle between doing it and doing it well.

I’m a number 3 with a 2 wing on the Enneagram.  I like to be known and loved and be needed and always seem to be giving my resume.  But, I hate the fear of rejection.  Rejection and me do not get along.

The last 6 years I’ve had the most love I’ve ever known (husband, 2 boys), but I’ve also experienced the most rejection and dislike in my life. It has been some incredibly lonely times.  Filled with so many tears.

I remember just one little example of this.  I was hosting a meeting of ladies in my home.  I love to bake.  And I make these delicious and beautiful cupcakes.  I had spent all afternoon making them (with a toddler and baby).  One person ate a bite, no one else had any.  I wanted to cry the whole meeting.  When my husband arrived home, I threw them in the trash.  He didn’t even get to taste one..  When you work on something creatively for someone, have others reject it, its really a rejection of yourself.

So, the past few months, I have really been taking that rejection and placing it on Christ.  Where I need to sit and dwell in is his everlasting, never-rejecting love for me.  I’m his beloved.  He will never let me go. He will hold me fast.

When we welcome others in our loves, in our home, not rejecting them – we will be a piece of Christ to them.  In order to show them the Gospel.  To let them dwell in the love of Jesus.

More on this Psalm in The Songs of Jesus by Tim Keller

2 Dec 2015

Generations, Cupcakes, and Gigi’s

by | posted in: chocolate, food | 0

Gigi's Holiday Cupcakes

There is something about the generations sitting down for a meal – or tossing flour in the kitchen as they make baked treats, or picking oranges from the groves around home.  Heritage and generations tell something of history and the future.  Hearing how Gigi’s got started about a decade ago – made me love the cupcake brand even more (the amazing Pecan Pie may have influenced my admiration).  I love how she is carrying recipes from generations ago and giving it to people (like me, and my littles) to carry on the yumminess to new generations.

My grandmother got me started on Little Debbie’s Nutty Bars. Every time I see them in the store or dare to buy a box I think of her.  I don’t remember her baking a lot but I remember her chicken and rice, french fries, and dressing at Thanksgiving.  My Papa (her husband) taught me how to fish, make french fries, and eat (and pick) oranges.  I’ve learned my parents’ favorite recipes and I look forward to encouraging my boys to love the kitchen (and cupcakes).  When I shared one of the mini cupcakes with my younger son this morning, he quickly licked off all the powder blue buttercream.  A dude after his momma’s heart!

Holiday Minis

Last night I had the opportunity to head to Gigi’s Kennesaw (just north of ATL) and taste their scrumptious desserts – including pies, cheesecakes, stuffed cookies, truffles, and cupcakes (and their new gluten-free line).  It was a fun evening, warm and toasty (even though it was raining outside) with other bloggers in the area and the owner of Gigi’s who as a gracious host.  We got to eat until we were full, and laugh, and just hang out.  It was a great evening.

One of our had tasks we had while we were there was to test out the new #gfreegigis line of cupcakes.  Even though Gigi’s cant be considered Gluten Free because they bake with gluten in the building – they go through great lengths to make sure the gluten stays far away from these cupcakes.  They want to take care of their customers – both gluten free customers and ones that aren’t.  The normal cupcake eater is not going to be able to tell the difference in taste.  Most of us even couldn’t.  The only thing I could tell was a slight chewiness in texture with the gluten-free – because of the rice flour and tapioca flour blend they use in the baking.  But, it was so delicious.  And the best thing is that gluten free doesn’t have to mean you can’t have cupcakes.  And there is no upcharge like most bakeries and grocery store items.  These gluten free cupcakes are the same price!

All the cupcakes!

And if you just need something to eat besides a cupcake: the peanut butter stuffed cookie was my salty goodness for the evening and like I’ve raved about before – the Southern Comfort pecan pie melted this southern girl’s heart (and taste buds)!

Thanks so much Gigi’s Kennesaw!  Y’all definitely pleased my taste buds last night!

15 Sep 2015

Transformation Tuesday: Community and Weight Loss

by | posted in: life together, weight loss | 0

Transformation Tuesay

Hi friends.  Welcome back for another edition of Transformation Tuesday, where I talk about all things in this healthy living lifestyle.  I’ve hit a plateau in weight loss which I knew would be coming since I’m getting down to a healthy weight anyway.  But, I’ve still got about 7 lbs to go and I’m not giving up!

This is a tough topic because we all have food loves and food issues.  But, what I want to talk about today is the importance that community plays in your weight loss journey.  I’ve been involved in weight watchers several times, and that has shown me how helpful it is to have people around you that have the same goals.  This applies in many different avenues in life: parenting, job related skills, creative outlets, runners groups, etc.

Why is this the case?

  1.  Motivation.  I have found when I have people around me who have similar lifestyle and health goals it is easier to pursue my goals.  I think that is one reason I knew that my mister was on the one for me.  Now my mister does not have trouble with weight and can eat anything.  But, he likes healthy foods (and still eats what I bake) and he always wants to be active.  We love to hike together, even now with our boys, and he could eat grilled salmon and other whole foods ALL THE TIME. For me, I knew I didn’t want to marry someone who really struggled with their weight.  I needed someone who could spiritual and actively lead me in this area because I knew it was a stronghold in my life. Just like if you have money spending issues, you don’t want to marry someone who also has a heavy hand when it comes to credit cards.  I love that we pursue an active and healthy life together – and still enjoy some summer ice cream cones and celebratory food days too.  So, when it comes to friends, it is easier for me to surround myself with people with similar interests and goals: active lifestyle people, healthy cooking, knowledge of their bodies and why we should take care of them. Not that you can’t go out and have a cookie together – but not letting one cookie lead to indulging every day in baked sweets.  Another example: if you are an alcoholic, if you are trying to break the addiction, you don’t want to hang out with other people who drink too much.
  2. Challenge.  I am a competitive person, we’ve talked about that before.  Right now, I have a “bet” going on with a friend in another state.  She asked me to help her with accountability so that’s what we are going to do.  But, we have the same goal weight number in mind for a short term goal and we weigh the exact same thing.  So, I asked her if we could put a wager on it: whoever gets their first gets a 10$ gift card from other to Target.  Perfect!  Game on!  I love people who push me in running.  When I started running, I had three friends who were so pivotal in that: Sarah, Sloan, and Sarah (another one).  I was single and could run anytime I wanted, but it was good to have running buddies and people to do races with. I don’t have that here.  I miss that. I do love running by myself, but I don’t have anyone locally to challenge me in that area.  In every area I’ve lived since I’ve had athletic people around me to challenge me and help me succeed – that is something I desire here as well.  Its important.
  3. Encouragement.  One of the nicest things a family member said to me when I first lost a TON of weight back in college was absolutely transformational for me.  But the comment that got me to a point in life that I knew I needed to lose the weight was awful and I remember it to this day.  I want to encourage others, not make people feel bad about themselves. I want to push people to meet their goals in weight loss.  I want to keep them on the right track.  I want to help them see the spiritual side of the struggle of weight loss and taking care of our bodies in a God-glorifying manner (I’ve got a book in the works if anyone wants to publish it.)  I find even a simple text or a note to accomplish this.  A friend and I text almost every day to see how we are doing eating and exercising.  It is good accountability.  And if we have had a bad day – we don’t yell at each other in all caps: we tell ourselves that the next meal is a new chance to be healthy – and get to that gym – even for 15 minutes.  I can not tell you enough how much positive reinforcement helps in this area.  My mister has learned this.  I often am a comfort food eater.  He has learned not to criticize me in that moment, but talk to me gently and help me to see other ways of coping with whatever is going on – and if I do still mess up, he forgives me quickly and champions me in ways I’m being healthy and meeting my goals.
14 Jul 2015

When Mommies Have Hard Days

by | posted in: mothering, Women | 3

 

There are days that I absolutely love being a mom.  There are other days that it is so stinking hard for me.  Honestly, those moments I don’t love it.  Of course I love my boys, I love the treasure of being their mom, but during those moments of throwing food, throwing toys, biting, hitting, slamming legos into the crib, disobeying for the millionth time that day and its not even 10:00 am – yeah, those days are really hard.

So, what are you to do in those moments?  Today was one of those days for me.  So, what happened today is something that I think can apply to every mom when she needs encouraging.  Just make it tailored to your need.

1.  Be encouraged in the Word – the Gospel.  As my husband was leaving this morning – even before he arrived at work – he was encouraging me with Scripture.  Not scolding me telling me of all the many ways I had already failed this morning.  Not telling me I’m a horrible mother and need to practice all the things I know.  No.  He knows how to affectively encourage me.  This is how he does it.  He tells me “Christ is sufficient for my every need – even in my weakness” and sends me Scriptures that he is praying for me – like Hebrews 13:20-21.  Benedictions like the one in Hebrews is so beneficial to me – knowing that I have been equipped – I have been given everything I need to be a good mom to those boys today – in the teething stage, in the disobedient moments, in the act of wiping up spilled apple juice for the 3rd time.

Maybe you will need someone else to encourage you in the word.  Maybe the encouragement will come through your daily quiet time. Maybe it will come through a song that is playing in the car.  However you get the intake of the Word – start here.

2.  Hang out with friends who encourage you.  I met a new friend at the mall today for play time with our littles and Cow Appreciation Day. Even though we had just met – sharing stories and just seeing interactions and hearing of God’s grace and goodness – that encourages me.  The friend you might need to see may be 2 states away so maybe a phone call or a text is all you need to help you persevere.  Or maybe see if someone can join you for lunch just to be an encouragement to you.  Discouraged moms do not need to be beaten up by legalism. They need to be encouraged by the hope of the Gospel.

3.  Write a note of encouragement to someone else.  There are so many mom friends in my life.  Each time I do a photo shoot I like to include a little note of encouragement.  So, I just got some photos printed and sat down to write a note of encouragement to my sweet young mom friend.  I’ve known her since she was in high school and now she has an infant sweet little girl.  This note didn’t take me long to write it and it wasn’t specific but just written in pink and said I love you. Persevere.  How basic is that?  But, I know that letters of encouragement can be such a God-send on a tiring day.  Do you send snail mail to people?  Do it – you will be surprised at what a great blessing it will be – both to you and to the person you are sending it to.

4.  Do something for yourself.  I think moms are so busy taking care of other people that they seldom do things for themselves.  It is not being selfish – it is helping your sanity!  My husband is super good at that – giving me time each week – doing whatever in his power to make me “happy” – building in times with friends, giving me alone time to study the Word, write and read, helping out with the dishes – I hope you have a mister like that.  Today – I stopped by Mcds and got a $1 Diet Coke and when I got the boys in bed I watched a White Collar episode.  Just little things.  Like cheap pretty flowers at Trader Joes.  Like a Weight Watchers ice cream bar.  Like a shopping trip with a friend.  Whatever will be a pick me up for you – do it.  It may be free like sitting outside on your deck staring up at the sky, or cheap like a coffee or a bouquet of flowers – or if your budget allows it go get a massage, manicure, or new outfit.  Take care of your soul – and yes, I do believe that means more than just sitting in the Word (though you noticed I started with that one as I think it is most important).

What are some ways you encourage yourself when you are having a bad mommy day?

17 Jun 2015

Friendship in the Real World

by | posted in: Books | 0

Over the past few years with the pick up in social media sites, I fear that more people (mostly women I’m writing about here) are better friends with the people on their social media networks than they are with people in their daily lives.  I am not saying those online friendships are bad, I just want to make the case that they are insufficient.

I would say that the main way I see this dominating the circles I follow are online Bible studies.  Again, I’m not saying these are bad – I’m just saying they are insufficient.  You can only be so real with people you only know through a computer (that’s why I think there are great problems with online dating).  The good thing about these online Bible studies is that you study the Word and you get to know people…but that can’t take the place of real life Bible studies if you have access to good ones.

Neither can these online friendships take the place of real life friends.  Since I’ve traveled a lot and moved a bit since being an adult, I have plenty of my best friends that don’t live in my immediate area.  Social media is definitely a way I keep up with them and know what’s going on in their lives – and they know how they can pray, encourage, and help me along in my sanctification process by loving me and loving the Gospel.

I’ve been reading a surprisingly good book A Friend in Me by Pamela Havey Lau.  It is about friendship – but more importantly, an older generation of women being grace-imparting friends to younger women.  Sounds very much like Titus 2.  I found this book for women to be refreshing because its deeper than most books on friendship.  This has been a convicting read to me in getting to know knew women, continuing relationships with women I already know, pursuing Gospel love with them, encouraging them in whatever stage of life God has them in right now, and even in my parenting and imparting the Gospel to my boys who are so little.

Thankful for this book on friendship, real life friends, and yes, social media where I can keep up with all my friends spread throughout the world.

I received this book from LitFuse in exchange for a review.  All opinions are my own.

14 Oct 2014

Glory and Grace: Psalm 41

by | posted in: glory and grace | 0

Glory and Grace

Blessed is the one who considers the poor! In the day of trouble the Lord delivers him; the Lord protects him and keeps him alive; he is called blessed in the land; you do not give him up to the will of his enemies.  Oh how wonderful it is to have people who care about you!  Psalm 41.1-2

Since last week’s wallet-stealing episode, we have seen God work in amazing ways.

The church we call home, Mount Vernon in Sandy Springs, GA, graciously rallied around us with prayers, concern, and we were given more than enough to make up for what was stolen.

That is the body of Christ friend.  I am reminded again of the truth that God will provide for us in every way, taking care of everything when we have a need!  He is all around us – all the time – orchestrating all events to bring Himself the most glory.

So, we are by no means poor, but this verse reminded me of how blessed people are who bless others – and blessings all around!