20 Mar 2015

Parenting and Talking with God (Book Review)

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, parenting | 0

I’ve learned a lot about parenting. I’ve learned a lot about my relationship with God the Father as I am his child.

Every time I share love or love through discipline to my two boys, I hear my Father saying the same thing. Here are some examples:

“Why don’t you ever listen?”

“I love you, you are my son (daughter).”

“I can never love you any less, no matter what you did.”

“I can’t wait for you to wake up so we can talk!”

You probably have some statements of your own.

I got a book in the mail to review and while I loved the concept and examples in the book, I didn’t like the very little Scripture that was used in it.

Rachael Carman wrote a devotional to Moms entitled How Many Times Do I Have to Tell You? She uses personal examples of some of the statement I’ve listed above. Some include: “We don’t act like that.” and “Turn down the music.” I love her heart. She gives some good and useful insights. She writes in such a relational way.

However, I would want a devotional to have more basis in Scripture. She does use some and she definitely speaks from a Christian point of view. But, she doesn’t point you to the one True Source as much as I would like.

If there is anything I’ve learned in parenting, it is that I need God more than I ever thought I would. The one place that I find his Truth for help in life and parenting (and everything else), is His Word. And I want to point other moms to that (not only my experiences) and I want to point my boys to that as well.

Disclaimer: Litfuse Publishing gave me this book for the purpose of doing the book review. All opinion are my own.

8 Feb 2015

Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, parenting | 1

(Thanks to Litfuse Publicity Group for allowing me to be a part of the blog tour for this new parenting book and giving me a copy in exchange. All blog content in my own opinion.)

Can I just tell you that parenting is the hardest job…EVER. I keep telling people that now that I have two toddlers of my own (whom I love very much and would do anything for) – I wouldn’t be a nanny for a million dollars for the rest of my life. Every day I am challenged in my sanity, patience, grace, and knowledge and experience of the gospel in loving on these two littles.

Michelle Anthony, who has many years of parenting and ministry in her pocket, has written a helpful and engaging book for parents. If you live in this world, you must think that everyone is dysfunctional – and basically, we all are. Sin is a problem with all of us. And now that I am a parent, I definitely see my sin patterns and struggles and strongholds coming out in my parenting.

Do I desire to be in control? Do I want to be liked? Do I want everything my way?

Dr. Anthony takes these and many more thoughts and scenarios and helps us as parents think through them. Not only does she help us think through them, she also helps us identify answers to strengthen our parenting.

And the best news of all: we are not the Director. I’m so glad Michelle started out with this truth because it is one of the most discouraging and encouraging truths to hold on to as a parent. It is discouraging because as person who likes to be in control, I can’t do much about it. But it is infinitely encouraging because the Director I know (God, the Father) is a perfect Director who has a marvelous plan and He never needs a “take 2”.

The best I can see using Michelle’s book Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family is getting together and reading it with your spouse and reading it, talk about it, answer the questions at the end of each chapter – and then discuss it with a small group. This even might be a great evangelistic tool to use in engaging especially single moms who are struggling to do this parenting thing solo. This book is written for the average parent – you don’t have to be seminary trained to understand her terminology.

Either way, read this, identify yourself in this book, and find hope in the Gospel. I’m thankful Michelle wrote this and I look forward to re-reading this at each stage of parenthood that I am in.

3 Feb 2015

I am not a Middle School Parent…

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, parenting | 1

But some of you are, and many of you have been there (bless you). I have worked with middle school students in the past via my church and Young Life – both where I was on staff for this particular age group.

I’ve learned a couple of things since that time (early twenties):

1. I didn’t know anything then.

2. What I know about teaching the Bible and the importance of the Bible – I wish I would have known then.

3. Middle schoolers are all different – yet all the same.

4. Some adults have a special gifting to reach middle schoolers – and some don’t.

5. Jesus loves middle schoolers.

I think it is tough right now parenting toddlers – but I know in some ways it will be easier – and some ways harder, as they grow up. Most people say that the middle school years are the hardest, but that doesn’t necessarily have to be the case.

One thing I do want from my middle school boys (when they get there) is open communication, personal attention (not trying to force them to like and be the same as his brother), and for them to have a growing relationship with Jesus. For them to own and search for their faith – not just take mommy and daddy’s faith as their own.

Judah Smith, a fabulous communicator about Jesus, has a student edition of Jesus Is ______. In it he explains his writing style (a little ADD) and hits on the main points of what he is trying to teach middle schoolers: that knowing Jesus for who He is will radically change your life.

This book is interactive, uses timely illustrations that middle school students will relate to, and teaches the truths about Jesus on a level most middle schoolers will understand.

I’m glad I have this book – that I can keep and have as my boys get older (ok, a decade away), but you can have one for your very one by leaving a comment here or on facebook (Tommy Nelson is glad to give a copy of this away – as I am a part of Tommy Nelson Mommies – but all opinions in this review are mine). So, here is the question you have to answer in the comment: what is one way you engage your son or daughter with the gospel.

30 Jan 2015

Teaching Young Boys How to Be Men

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, parenting | 3

Building God's Kingdom: Tipper Tells a Lie, Andy Holmes

My life is full of balls, choo-choos, and bulldozers. If you are a mom of young boys, you know what I’m talking about. I live in the Atlanta area and many times a week I’m driving around specifically going to the site of the new Braves stadium just because my son wants to see the bulldozers. He squeals with much delight.

So, when I saw these books (a new series) by Tommy Nelson for young boys featuring bulldozers and other machines – I knew my older son would love them. And what is better yet, they teach them morals: not to lie, telling the truth, etc. And these are great qualities for young boys – who want to grow to be men.

When I’m training my little boys – I want to train them up in the Gospel – for sure (which is where I think these little books lack), but I also want to train them in good morals in ways they can grow to be men. Telling the truth and being honest is definitely something God desires and a trait they should have their entire lives. Another trait I want to teach them is to be gentle and to be good stewards of their toys and possessions. This is something that God told Adam in the Garden – to tend the garden and take care of it.

Do you have young boys – how do you teach your young boys to be young men? To teach them morals?

If you do have little boys who love bulldozers or cranes, etc, and you want to win your own set of these books – then just leave a comment on the blog or on facebook and you will be entered.

Thank you Tommy Nelson for these books (all opinions are my own) and for giving an opportunity to win them!

31 Oct 2014

When Your Little is Sick

by Kimberly | posted in: parenting | 0

I often think that my children teach me much more than I ever teach them. I mean I need to teach them the important things like : how to tie their shoes, how to climb a tree, how to kick a ball, and how to count to three. But, they teach me much more important things like : snuggling, slowing down, and prayer.

Since moving to a new city back in April, our kids have been sick more than they were their whole lives of living in another state. We’ve had teething tablets lodged in windpipes, Roseola, other fever viruses, and teething on top of all of that. That really isn’t bad when you look at what others face, but it makes this momma a bit nervous when her boys won’t sleep because their fever is 104.

This week has been that. Our smaller one came down with a fever virus earlier this week. Thankful that his daddy was off to take him to the doctor while I took the other to Bible study, but still. Makes for much slower days.

Here are some important lessons I’m learning since my boys have been sick:

1. God made their bodies. He made them perfectly and he made them to work. They will tell me when something is wrong – even if it is just being fussy. He is a good Creator.

2. Snuggling is vital to healing. The boys (who are normally running around with cars and balls) love to snuggle when they are sick. That’s usually how we know that they aren’t feeling well.

3. My kids are more important than my schedule. Usually I have to admit it is disappointing when one of them is sick because my schedule has to change. I can’t take them to the gym, the park, or church activities because they can’t be around other kids (or shouldn’t be). That has also shown me some idols in my life when I am disappointed about something not going my way.

4. Technology is great. We’ve been able to look up some information on my phone. I was just given an amazing thermometer which has been a lifesaver this week. If you need a good one – run and get the Braun Touchless Thermometer. Thanks Influenster and Braun for mine. I saw it used in my doctor’s office back over the summer. But, it definitely is a game changer in the middle of the night and you can’t see anything and your kid is struggling to stay still. I love it. Very accurate and the kids love it too. The light sorta makes it seem like they are playing a game! And I don’t have to hold their head still or get a thermometer under their arm either. The joys of wrestling boys when they have to have their temperature taken!

If you have sick littles – love on them. Take care of them. Learn from them.

(This post is sponsored by Braun and Influenster. Thanks for the thermometer and all thoughts are my own.)

30 Oct 2014

Daniel Tiger and Moral Behaviorism

by Kimberly | posted in: mothering, parenting, Shepherding Children | 0

The only show that my toddlers watch 5-7 days out of the week is Daniel Tiger. We only have Netflix so I can just put one on in the morning as I’m cleaning up from breakfast before we go out to do any errands or go to Bible study. Both of my little boys love it.

I do believe my older son’s first sentence was (in his own language) “Daniel Tiger rides a school bus”. School bus is his term for anything that moves that’s big. And my younger son does The Twist when the theme music begins.

I love that the show is based on Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, which I loved as a child. Teaches good things to kids and helps them learn social behavior that is acceptable. My mister even was telling me the other night that he was able to put a Daniel Tiger song into practice during a conversation with some co-workers.

And I write this blog post from a stand point of a Mom who is in the throws of trying to get my two year old to behave. I’m trying to teach him about authority and what is right and wrong. When not to run away, why shoving his brother is wrong, how to share toys, why we don’t spit out food onto the table, why we don’t pitch fits when we leave time with Daddy at his store, why we don’t scream in the car long enough to make his brother cry.

Daniel Tiger is great at teaching what to do and how to be nice while doing it – playing nicely with others. Obeying your parents, giving hugs, etc. But, if that is all we teach our children as Christian parents, than we are missing the (gospel) boat entirely.

When my son disobeys, like he is right now because I’ve asked him to be quiet and play in his room or take a nap and he is singing and talking at the top of his lungs, I have trouble because I go to him and I say “I love you, E, BUT I really want you to obey Mommy.” When I should be saying “I love you E AND I really want you to obey Mommy. Here are some truths I’m learning about this way of parenting:

1. My love for my sons should not be conditional upon their obedience. I remember asking my Mom one time decades ago what she would do if I or my brother killed someone. She said I’d still love you, pray for you, and I’d turn you in. Good job, Mom! They should not have to work for my love or my snuggles. The Bible is very clear on this in Romans 5.10

2. Our children should learn how to have good behavior. Not by bribing, not by rewarding, not be yelling – but just because that is what is expected of them as one of our children. I don’t want to raise two little Pharisees, I want to raise little boys who see their need for a Savior. My Mister and I have been talking about this, especially now that our older one has gotten to a point where he completely understands what we are saying when we are trying to get him to obey. A sweet friend who is years ahead of me in parenting told me that these early years are for your children to learn that the parents are the authority. If they don’t learn that, they will have a harder time learning God’s authority. And that is where we definitely want to point them. One key Scripture is Ephesians 6:1-4

3. The main point of the Gospel is not so we will be better Christians. The Gospel is not there to tell us how to be good. It is actually the opposite. The Gospel tells us that we can’t be good and we can’t obey. The sin nature living in us makes us want to do our own things. Only turning our lives over to Jesus and relying on the Holy Spirit to shape us and live through us will work. Believing through faith is salvation. That faith is given to us. Out of a heart that has been changed will come right obedience. See Romans 6-8 and Ephesians 2.

4. We have to discipline, love and teach the Bible to our children through the eyes of the Gospel. We can’t teach them Bible stories that will lead them to share better, be kind more, or obey. We need to teach discipline, love, and teach them so they see Jesus in EVERYTHING. We must be the ones who share the Gospel with our children.

After all, that is our biggest job as Christian parents. Show the Gospel to our children. And pray the Holy Spirit will turn their little hearts.

29 Oct 2014

Grace and Peanut Butter and Chocolate

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, mothering, parenting, Uncategorized | 0

I’ve already reviewed this book for Crossway and I stand behind everything I say. But, in this post I want to encourage (mostly Moms) yall from some of the highlights that I read. I’m grateful for Gloria’s writing, examples, and Christ-centered encouragement to other moms in the world. Many things I could relate to – and no matter what stage of mothering you are in, I’m sure you can to.

“It’s tempting to view everyday life merely as a monotonous cycle of making the beds on to be in them again.” (63)

Don’t let life be mundane to you. I know we have to clean and cook dinner and change diapers and run car pool. But, don’t be ok with that. That is when life gets boring and we get discouraged. Make fun things happen, change your attitude – don’t live there.

“Controlling my circumstances wouldn’t fill the void in my soul. You can’t organize your way into communion with God.” (78)

I see this in myself a lot today. My littler toddler is sick. I can’t take them anywhere I normally go because he would be around children and I don’t want him to get others sick. So we are at home. In a small townhome, all day. Well, I can’t control that. Now I can either apply the gospel or live in a bad mood the rest of the day until they go to bed? It is choice!

“God is greater, more powerful, and more mysterious than we could ever dream, and it will take an eternity for him to reveal to us his magnificence.” (92)

God is our reward – not the perfection of heaven. He is infinite and no matter how much we seek to know him on this side of his presence – we will never know him fully – because He is inexhaustible.

“Our craving for admiration is diluted and the praise of others is muffled as we serve with the strength God supplies. Why would we take credit for the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives?” (105)

This is an area of biggest struggle for me. God is the one who does the work and needs to get all the praise for it.

“I need God’s grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate.” (138)

Perhaps my favorite line in the book!

“I forget that homemaking is not primarily about my personality; it is primarily to adorn the gospel because the grace of God has appeared.” (155)

Another one of those needed statements that I will need to think through.

This book is highly marked up and I’m shipping it out today to a friend who will also love this book. There are many other things I highlighted that I’ve talked about with friends or my husband because they bring up too much hurt from past relationships.

Mom – keep pursuing the gospel in your parenting! God has got this! Be encouraged!

27 Oct 2014

Fall Bucket List with Toddlers

by Kimberly | posted in: Uncategorized | 0

I feel like my life as a SAHM of two little toddler boys is always crazy. Whether we are sliding down slides, playing in mall play yards, eating junior frosties, donuts, or mandarin oranges, or anxiously awaiting Daddy’s arrival from work each day – every day holds smiles, tears (of course), and hand holding.

The Fall, being that it is my favorite season, holds more planned activities for my littles. So, I’ve wanted to come up with a bucket list. Some of which we have already done, some which we will save for when Oma and Granddad arrive around Thanksgiving, and some which we might not get to get this year.

Savor every moment.

Bake Pumpkin Cookies or muffins or cake – just bake with pumpkin!

Pick apples (and eat them). This year we won’t get to an apple orchard, but it is a fun activity and I’m sure the boys will love it in years to come. They do love to eat the apples we get from Trader Joes.

Paint pumpkins (or other fall vegetables)

Play in piles of raked leaves (we don’t really have a yard, so this may have to wait until another year or two as well)

Take Pumpkin photos

Watch It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. A must! (Which first aired today in 1966, shortly after my Mom graduated high school)

Make Thanksgiving garland (we started this last year – adding a leaf a day in November)

Send TY notes to the pastors of your church (October is Pastor Appreciation month)

Watch Luther (ok, this may not happen for a while, but they need to learn about this great man of God and what he did for all of Christianity in the 1500s.

Go on a hayride. We did this with Elijah during his first fall and missed our opportunity by mere minutes this year, but will certainly aim to do it again in later years.

Boo at the Zoo. This was incredibly packed but also fun. Our family doesn’t really participate in Halloween, but it was fun to go see all the cute costumes and get their first Halloween candy this year. No costume needed and completely safe. And this is held at most zoos.

What is a part of your Fall Bucket List for your little ones?

23 Oct 2014

Teaching Children to be Readers

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, Kids r Readers 2, mothering, parenting, Shepherding Children | 1

Being a parent is amazing and hard and always full of new moments. But, this moment we are in right now is something I’ve waited for. “Mommy” then I get a little pat on my leg and I see my older toddler standing there in front of me with a book in his tiny hands. Begging for me to read to him. So, I do. Over and over again.

There is a certain train book from Usborne books (gift from Oma) that he has carried everywhere – coffee shops, hikes, car trips, gym kid’s club – and Daddy has even had to tape it up. It came with a little train – sometimes we can find it sometimes we can’t. But, no matter – he has other cars that will work on its tracks – or at least work for him.

One of the things I want to instill most in my kids (besides a love for God) is a love of reading. I love to read and I know how books take you to other places, teach you so much more than you could ever learn, and also put a desire in you to see the world around you. C S Lewis and L. M. Montgomery are two of those authors for me. I have a feeling the boys will love L. A. Wilder, C. S. Lewis, J. R. R. Tolkien, and Andrew Peterson. We shall see. Can’t wait to actually read chapter books with them at night. But, that is a moment in time later to come.

How can you instill a love of reading in children?

1. Use the library. We go to the library some for story time. My boys are harder to sit still than some others but we still attempt it and its good song and play time too. The public libraries, especially in bigger cities, are great resources (and free)!

2. Buy them books. Buy them at thrift stores, online book clubs, ask for them for presents.

3. Read to them. Use some time before bed, or after breakfast to read to them. It teaches them to pay attention and sit still but also helps stir up an amazing appetite to read.

4. Be patient with them as they learn to read. My boys aren’t to that stage yet, but I have to be willing as their Mommy to be patient, let them stumble over words, help them when I need to, and listen to them.

5. Encourage them to write their own stories. This time will come too. I still have the first book I wrote in 4th grade – all about animals. I can’t wait to show it to our boys. I hope they will love it and not laugh!

6. Read different genres. As a gospel Christian, I do like to read boys about Jesus to them. But…I love to read them other books about the world God created and things that happen in it and teach them about a Christian worldview – seeing everything through the lens of the Gospel. That is so important to teach to our children early in their learning adventure.

My friend Leah is an Usborne consultant. They have delightful and interactive books for children of all reading levels. Here is a link to an online party I am hosting for her. I have been pleased with the Train book so far – and so has our toddler. I’m sure you will find some your children like as well.

What are your favorite books to read to your children?

7 Oct 2014

Glory and Grace: Lamentations 3

by Kimberly | posted in: Bible, glory and grace, mothering | 1

God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out,
    his merciful love couldn’t have dried up.
They’re created new every morning.
    How great your faithfulness!
I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over).
    He’s all I’ve got left.God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,

to the woman who diligently seeks.

It’s a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It’s a good thing when you’re young
to stick it out through the hard times

Lamentations 3 – The Message

I know several friends, many of whom are new mommies, that struggle with the day to day like I sometimes do. Our kids are small, our husbands work long hours, sometimes other jobs are also on our agenda for today.

My one piece of advice that I was given that I also share the most with these friends is this:

You only need to get through today.

God gives grace enough for today – and tomorrow, you know what, HE is faithful to give more grace and show us his radically new mercies that enable us to fight the enemy:

Exhaustion

Impatience

Fatigue

Worry

Fear

Selfishness

His mercies are better.

parenting

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