23 Oct 2014

Teaching Children to be Readers

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, Kids r Readers 2, mothering, parenting, Shepherding Children | 1

Being a parent is amazing and hard and always full of new moments. But, this moment we are in right now is something I’ve waited for. “Mommy” then I get a little pat on my leg and I see my older toddler standing there in front of me with a book in his tiny hands. Begging for me to read to him. So, I do. Over and over again.

There is a certain train book from Usborne books (gift from Oma) that he has carried everywhere – coffee shops, hikes, car trips, gym kid’s club – and Daddy has even had to tape it up. It came with a little train – sometimes we can find it sometimes we can’t. But, no matter – he has other cars that will work on its tracks – or at least work for him.

One of the things I want to instill most in my kids (besides a love for God) is a love of reading. I love to read and I know how books take you to other places, teach you so much more than you could ever learn, and also put a desire in you to see the world around you. C S Lewis and L. M. Montgomery are two of those authors for me. I have a feeling the boys will love L. A. Wilder, C. S. Lewis, J. R. R. Tolkien, and Andrew Peterson. We shall see. Can’t wait to actually read chapter books with them at night. But, that is a moment in time later to come.

How can you instill a love of reading in children?

1. Use the library. We go to the library some for story time. My boys are harder to sit still than some others but we still attempt it and its good song and play time too. The public libraries, especially in bigger cities, are great resources (and free)!

2. Buy them books. Buy them at thrift stores, online book clubs, ask for them for presents.

3. Read to them. Use some time before bed, or after breakfast to read to them. It teaches them to pay attention and sit still but also helps stir up an amazing appetite to read.

4. Be patient with them as they learn to read. My boys aren’t to that stage yet, but I have to be willing as their Mommy to be patient, let them stumble over words, help them when I need to, and listen to them.

5. Encourage them to write their own stories. This time will come too. I still have the first book I wrote in 4th grade – all about animals. I can’t wait to show it to our boys. I hope they will love it and not laugh!

6. Read different genres. As a gospel Christian, I do like to read boys about Jesus to them. But…I love to read them other books about the world God created and things that happen in it and teach them about a Christian worldview – seeing everything through the lens of the Gospel. That is so important to teach to our children early in their learning adventure.

My friend Leah is an Usborne consultant. They have delightful and interactive books for children of all reading levels. Here is a link to an online party I am hosting for her. I have been pleased with the Train book so far – and so has our toddler. I’m sure you will find some your children like as well.

What are your favorite books to read to your children?

20 Oct 2014

Read This: Christ in the Chaos (Kimm Crandall)

by Kimberly | posted in: Books, mothering, parenting | 0

Sometimes it may take me a while to get to a book, but God knows why he had me pick it up at that moment. I’ve had this book for a while, and just really picked it up in earnest this weekend. As you can see by this review – I’m done with it and it has many underlines and !!! sections!

Kimm Crandall is a mommy of four – and a funny one at that – and one who knows her weaknesses and is steeped in the Gospel. And even though she has written a helpful and gracious book, she would probably tell you herself that she needs to practice and rehearse the gospel every day (even after she wrote the chapter on rehearsing the gospel).

I liked this book because she shared stories I could relate to – even though her kids are definitely older than mine. She pointed me not to my mistakes and where I fail every day as a Mom, but instead she pointed me to Jesus – who is perfect in every way and intercedes for me as my Great High Priest.

I liked it because it was short and practical – two things I need as a Mom to two active toddler boys.

I liked it because she encouraged women to be honest with other women – and to use wisdom in sharing – but not to hold on to this idea of perfection that we seem to do so well in many of our churches.

I would recommend this book to any mom but especially ones who are :

1. Like me, in the throws of teaching two boys what it means for mommy and daddy to have authority and how they won’t get everything they want just because they throw a temper tantrum.

2. Like me, who loves their to do lists and hates it when everything isn’t marked off by the end of the day.

3. Like me, who knows the Gospel but still needs help in accepting it every day and also passing along that acceptance to their husbands and children. Oh, ladies – how I struggle with that. Teaching my boys to obey and listen and accept authority – and doing it with the love of Christ in my actions, words, and tone of voice.

Here are some of my favorites from the book:

“God’s faithfulness is not measured by tangible blessings. It’s measured by his character and his promises to us.” (22)

“God’s grace leaves us with nothing of ourselves but all of Jesus.” (32)

“Grace is a mystery so disturbing I can’t bring myself to look away.” (44)

“When you know you are being pursued by a merciful admirer, the lure of sins’ crude pleasure loses it’s sparkle.” (51)

“Take off the strong mother mask and embrace your weakness. Stop hiding the very inadequacy God wants to use to display the Gospel.” (61)

“Everything in Scripture points, not to our obligations, but to our Redeemer,” (67)

When you live in light of the Gospel – you are set free from your incessant need for approval.” (93)

Live in light of these truths – grounded in the Word and the Gospel.

(Thanks Kimm for providing me with a copy of this to read. All comments and thoughts are my own.)

13 Oct 2014

Glory and Grace: Deuteronomy 6

by Kimberly | posted in: glory and grace, Kids r Readers 2, mothering, parenting | 0

Today my little boy turns one. One. Seriously?

And I think to myself I’ve had one year to teach him – to love him – to pour into him. What is he going to remember?

I hope he will remember the love, the kisses, the midnight feedings, the giggles and tickles.

What I hope he will always remember is that fact that his mommy and daddy love Jesus. We want him to know the truth of the Gospel. How will we do this?

We will pray that with endurance we will talk about the Gospel and live the gospel out in front of him and his brother every day they are with us. How can we do that?

Teaching him (as little as he is): the authority of God and His Word – and the love of the Father.

1. Use a chalkboard in your dining room to learn a Bible verse a week.

2. Sing songs in the car that speak of God’s love.

3. Watch shows that teach good things – and then talk to them about how the Gospel intersects with that.

4. Pray with them every chance you get.

5. Read Gospel-centered books to them – and teach them about God while reading any book you can.

11 Oct 2014

Let There Be Kisses

by Kimberly | posted in: mothering, parenting, Shepherding Children, Uncategorized | 2

I will be the first to admit of multitasking while my boys are awake. If they are playing, I am on my phone, cooking dinner, cleaning, reading a book, etc. And I’m not hear to lay blame on anyone else who does that. Rest in grace, friend. Walk in grace. Live in grace. That’s what my husband tells me.

Here’s what I am learning: let there be kisses. and tickling. and book reading.

My older son who just turned two is just now loving to bring me a book (usually the Wheels on the Bus) and pat my legs which is asking me to put him on my lap so I can read to him. I first told him no, then immediately was so convicted by the Spirit that I’ve not told him no since. It devastated my heart that I would tell my sons no to something as fun as reading a book to them just because I wanted to do something else. So, even today, as he finished lunch, he ran and got a book, and we read and sang and played with cars at the table while his little brother tried to hold his sippy cup and ended up getting more milk on him than in his tummy. That’s life.

Much of this denial that I give my sons is based on two things:

1. I think what I have my schedule is more important. Blogging. Writing. Cleaning. Being entertained with social media. It all comes down to pride. I don’t want our family’s schedule to be dominated by the boys – but I do want there to be much more book reading, hand holding, tickle fests than instagram feed reading. What do I want to communicate: verbally and non-verbally to my boys? That they are important and time with them is something I cherish – or that things and strangers are more important? What you communicate in your actions also gives you the door to speak the Gospel into their lives every day.

2. I try to fill our days with too many things. We love to be out and about during the days that Daddy is working. We’ll either go to the park, the mall, the zoo, Bible study at church, the gym, the river, etc. Atlanta is full of fun activities for families – so we take advantage of many of them. But, then when we are home I have so much to get done. I’m not thinking about stopping going so much – I just will have to limit what I think has to be done. I’m reading Challies’ series on getting things done and it helps me to realize that I’m not God and won’t accomplish everything. And everything doesn’t have to be accomplished. Energy is a commodity too.

My boys won’t be little long. The days are sometimes long and I look forward to having breaks with friends or solo times for being in the word or just running errands. But, I love their laughs and hand-holding. My Mister said last night that we better relish the times that they are excited to see us when we pick them up – because that always won’t be the case. I know it won’t be forever and my boys will stop wanting to sit on my lap for reading sessions, or stop laughing when I tickle them, or they won’t want me to kiss them goodnight.

Until then, let there be kisses. Everything else will wait!

30 Sep 2014

Starting Family Food Traditions

by Kimberly | posted in: food, mothering, parenting, Shepherding Children, Treasured Traditions, Truly Families | 1

Family and food. Those two words often go together for most people. Whether you wake up and cook pancakes on Saturday mornings, have a weekly pizza night, or always make certain Christmas cookies around the holidays – there are some things food always brings to the table. Maybe you always go to a certain restaurant for special meals, or maybe you have your grandmother’s recipe for gingerbread and her worn cloth apron that she would wear as she labored hard over her yeast rolls. Smell in the memories.

Growing up, we didn’t have a lot of these. We loved food – don’t get me wrong. There are a few things: smoked mullet, Granny’s chicken and rice, and Dad’s creole black eyed peas every New Years. Those are good traditions and I even introduced my mister to Papa’s smoked mullet a few years back. However, I want more.

As a wife and a mother of two littles, I want to create traditions, with the OK of my mister, that will do two things:

1. Provide a way to create memories for our family.

2. Help us to see the goodness of God to our family.

Here are three that we have started, and I will explain these two above points as we go along.

Weekly Pizza Night : making it, Little Caesars, store bought – just a night for pizza (and leftovers of course). Who doesn’t like cold pizza for breakfast. Hold the olives, please!

Weekly trips to Trader Joe’s and Ray’s Donuts. I am so grateful that my husband makes time to keep the boys while I go grocery shopping. I seldom go with them anymore because even if I’ve just fed them, they will eat the produce in the cart. Not going to happen. But, I like taking them to Trader Joe’s on Monday mornings. We get TJ cinnamon cookies, try new products, and make all the clerks smile. Building relationships. Its important. And happy boys. Also, we’ve started going to Ray’s Donuts in Marietta (amazing donut holes) one day each week. Nothing fancy, but good donuts. We spent 1.80 this morning, hung out with some friends who joined us, and ate donuts. It was so much fun wiping down my boys’ fingers with a wet wipe because they had glaze in between their little fingers and on the corners of the their lips.

Homemade Pad Thai for New Years. I am definitely southern and like greens and black eyed peas – but I wanted to do something different. So, last year the Mister and I said we would do this. I want to teach my boys to love it – and to teach them to love the different cultures of the world.

Our family is just starting out, but so far I’m building relationships that can hopefully spread into opportunities to share the gospel and I can teach our boys to be thankful for pizza, donuts, and pad thai. God is so good to us. Whether its an additional 5$ for pizza on a Sunday night – where we can rest and enjoy one another and not dirty up a kitchen – or 1.80 for a mid-morning, mid-week fun time with mommy with sticky fingers. These boys will have memories.

What food memories are you creating for your family? We will install more just waiting to see what yumminess!

20 Sep 2014

The One Thing I Can’t Do as a Mom

by Kimberly | posted in: Bible, mothering, parenting | 2

Failure. Usually a bad word in our family. My husband has often told me to remove it from my vocabulary. But, I think even my husband would agree with this.

I often find myself reading “mommy” blogs or parenting blogs or asking friends how to discipline or instruct their toddlers. I know families that have all boys in them (or mostly boys) and I would love to go on vacation with them just to see their family in action for a week or so. I know every family is different and every parents parents differently.

But, there is one area that I am a complete failure in – and I thought I’d be open and honest and share it with you.

I can’t turn my child’s heart toward God. There. I said it.

And you know what…neither can you.

Now, please hear me out.

I can teach my boys Bible verses, read them Bible stories, tell them about the gospel and how Jesus wants us to obey him and make wise decisions. I can hug on my boys and give them lots of kisses and show them affection: before, during, and after they need to be disciplined. I can love my husband and help them to have see a marriage that is striving to have the Gospel at the center.

I can put people in their lives that will help influence them to be more like God. I can tell them how to share and be kind and not push and shove and don’t through your cereal on the floor and don’t kick your brother and don’t bite. I can tell them not to run in the parking lot and hold my hand and all of it.

But, what I can’t do is change their heart. I can’t make them love Jesus.

Only the Holy Spirit at the will of the Father through the sacrifice of Jesus can do that.

The Bible is clear that God is the Master of Salvation. The Bible is clear that Jesus died on the cross to save sinners. It is clear that the Holy Spirit works in the lives of believers. It is clear that everyone is a sinner (even cute little blond hair boys).

Ephesians 1:3-14:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ 10 as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

It is also clear that we as parents have responsibilities to lead them to Jesus. To show them the gospel (by word and deed). To pray for them. To discipline them. To be Jesus with skin on to them.

Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child. It doesn’t say change their hearts for them. It says POINT THEM TO JESUS

And oh, how I need the help of the Holy Spirit to pour life into me, to help it flow out of me – so that my children will be pointed to God. And we will pray that God has saved them by His wonderful, amazing grace.

This post is to encourage you. You can’t change your child’s heart – but you can pray and show them a God who loves!

20 Sep 2014

#eliturnstwo

by Kimberly | posted in: mothering, parenting | 0

Sorry for the slow post week, but we had a great reason and a sad reason.

Sad: Sebastian had some medical issues that he is healing from which made for late nights and slowish recovering days.

Great: Little E Mister turned two yesterday. We were gearing up for his party and hosting friends and blowing out candles. I wanted to send this little recap to celebrate the boy!

Two years ago: wow – how much life has changed. E was born in Durham, a week late, a 3rd degree tear, infection after delivery for me, and a 4 day NICU stay for him. Thank you DUKE! That early morning totally changed our lives. From the get go e was amazing, slept through the night at 4 months and hasn’t looked back. (below photo by Erica Cooper)

Then we moved to Little Rock, AR and his first birthday was celebrated with all the many friends that had been a blessing to us during the first year in Little Rock.

In his second year of lift, he gained a baby brother and continued to grow: learning how to walk and getting teeth and learning some fun words. We said so long to our friends in Little Rock and now reside in Marietta, GA. We had a fun party with hamburgers and hot dogs, grapes, chips, and baked beans. Plenty of desserts for everyone. Early in the day we had cinnamon rolls and went to the zoo where we saw the parakeets and road the train and played in the splash pad. What a great day.

This little boy holds so much joy in all of his expressions. He is a full out little boy. We are trying to teach him that Jesus wants his heart and that we all need Jesus. He loves giving hugs and being hospitable.

Lijah Bean – we love you!

8 Sep 2014

Motherhood is Not Just About Dying to Self

by Kimberly | posted in: mothering, parenting | 3

Motherhood, a joy, a calling, and a privilege – is also TOUGH! And I’m in the midst of it. New area (with relatively new friends), two under two – both boys, and a husband who works long hours – but is such a trooper at home and to take my many frustrated phone calls and texts and pray and encourage me throughout the day.

My boys are the most cutest (superlatives, I know) boys in the whole world. Their blond hair, big blue eyes, super long eyelashes – and their laughs, and smiles, and hugs, and giggles. Doesn’t that make all the disciplining, nights where there are 3 feedings, and saying no 100 times a day, worth it? Hmmm – of course, but it doesn’t make those days easier.

I was enjoying some hours of quiet courtesy of sleeping boys and a gracious husband and I wrote these next words. When I went to read it to my Mister I was hesitant too – not because I thought he would laugh at me, but because I don’t live this out – and he, more than anyone, knows it. But, it is the cry of my heart. And I need the Gospel every day and pushed harder and harder in on my life and my parenting – to look more like Christ in front of these littles that I call Lijah Bean and Bubba. I hope the next words are encouraging to you. Pray for the Moms you know. It’s a tough job.

The point of motherhood is not death to self.

If it was, we could be justified in our mopey days, our impatient attitudes, our temper tantrums. We could justify our need to be everywhere and do everything so we could earn the title of Super Mom.

It’s not about finding your life in your children. If so, we could warrant involving our children in everything so they could be good at what we weren’t. If so, we could boast in our children’s smiles, vocabulary, batting average, or report card.

It’s not about finding your life in all the things you multitask in – or the things you don’t. We could brag about our recipes, our photographs, or our pre-baby jeans. We could post pictures of our well-designed Anthro house that never looks like children live there.

It’s not about never doing anything you want to. We don’t have to live a slain and mopey woe-is-me life.

Instead, something I need to be daily pray for myself is that I would boast in the Gospel and die to sin so that I might life in and for and through Christ. On the days when I burn dinner, or feed my children all chocolate and junk food – I need Jesus. The days our son bites other kids in the gym child care – Jesus still died for me and loves me. On the day when I feel fat and don’t want to work out, but longingly look at the woman three treadmills away – desiring to look like her – Jesus still wants my heart.

I’ve read so many posts about you just have to die to self as a Mommy. In a way that is true – but not in its morbid-sounding worldly outlook. You can still ask for time for yourself – to feed your soul, to grab a cup of coffee, to grocery shop without toddlers eating the bananas before you pay for them, to take a walk, to exercise – to do things that refresh you – even if it is just to take a bath or have a date with your husband. These aren’t bad things.

If Motherhood isn’t just about dying to self – it must have a better end. We don’t die to self just for the sake of dying to self. We die to self and sin and flesh to live to Christ. Paul, in his letters, constantly wrote about not being the man he was but constantly fighting that battle and waging war with his flesh, but pressing on in Christ.

Motherhood – living to Christ – looks like:

Admitting when you are failing at motherhood and seeking help from other moms who have been there and done that. Not trying to put on an act like you have it all together and your kids are the poster children for all church kids.

Admitting when you need some “time off”. My Mister knows that some time off during the week does me a world of good. Writing, reading, praying, journaling, doing errands by myself, drinking unsweet tea, eating a macaron – whatever it is – as the saying goes “If momma ain’t happy”. He knows that me being refreshed is good for the whole family!

Crying out to God instead of yelling at your children. Even though I hate raised voices and I hate being yelled at myself – I find myself raising my voice at my boys – as if that’s going to do any good. I need instead to breath, pause, pray, and then speak in a manner to my boys that will glorify God.

Read the Bible in light of Motherhood. How does the Bible address teaching your children, being anxious or prideful in your spirit? The Bible has the final word on everything you could be struggling with.

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed – 1 Peter 2.24 (This verse was suggested by my Mister for this blog – and so fitting. If we try to do motherhood, or dying to ourselves, in our own strength – that is sin and it is futile. We will fail. It we seek the Gospel and the strength of Him who died for our weak, selfish selves – than He has promised He will ever be close to us in every moment of every tempter tantrum and birthday party and first date and bicycle riding lesson.

Motherhood in light of the Gospel – is still the toughest job, the best job, the most demanding job – and only with the strength of Christ will we survive.

20 Aug 2014

Toddlers and Edible Finger Paint

by Kimberly | posted in: mothering, parenting, Shepherding Children | 0

Combining two of my loves – my boys and food. What could be greater?

Usually we go go go out of the house, but when Daddy is home, we like to chill and do something fun together. So, I saw a post from a NC blogger and new that if I could talk my Mister into it, then we would be doing this. My Mister loves to be neat and not get messy, but I convinced him to put aside his neat and tidy ways to let us all have some fun and then we would dump our boys into the bath! So, an adventurous morning we had!

My boys are all boys – which obviously that morning didn’t involve finger painting. What did they do? They headed straight for the rocks. That is all they cared about. So, bring on more rocks!

With this edible finger paint – you don’t get art (because it doesn’t harden) but you do get fun times in the back yard!

Items you need:

Small containers to put the finger paint in (I used tupperware small square containers)

Sweetened condensed milk

Food coloring

Newspaper or tarp of some sort

Diapered kids (better than ruining clothes)

Spoon

I poured some of the condensed milk in each of the container and put in some food coloring into each one, stirring it up, and gave each boy his own containers so there would be no fighting over them. That helped.

Then we laid out newspaper on our back porch (read slab of concrete) and stood back to see what would happen? Neither of them went for it. I helped BabyBach a little but Elibuddy was definitely more interested in the rocks.

So, what do we do with the extra? We are giving it to our neighbor who has two little girls. She said they love to color.

This can be a great way to get to know your neighbors who have young ones. Just bring them all to the back yard and let the silliness begin!

Then we just took their diapered little selves straight to the tub and gave them a long soak and scrub.

So – how do I think about this as shepherding my boys: God is a beautiful creator and has given us many things to enjoy : finger paint and rocks! Let them get messy, be creative, and have fun. Its a way we were created to worship!

15 Jun 2014

Raising Godly Sons: Future Daddy Dates

by Kimberly | posted in: mothering, parenting | 0

Father’s Day is a beautiful tradition. In our world today, most fathers (especially the ones we see on the news and television and movies) are portrayed as worthless, deadbeats, sarcastic, drunk, mean to their wives, lazy, jobless, etc. That is not the type of Dad I want to show my sons. I’m glad I was blessed with an amazing husband who shows them what being a great dad is!

But, as a Mom to two boys – what can I do to really help them grasp on to what a Dad, a godly Dad, should be like? My parents were in town and opted to keep our younger and I took the Eli buddy along with me to run errands. I took this opportunity to start a tradition I will call Future Daddy Dates.

Here is what I did: I took my Buddy to McD’s and we sat and had a conversation about Daddies. Really simple. Not expensive. And being that he is only 21 months, not a long time. But one word it definitely was: Intentional.

1. Talk about who God has called him as a Daddy to be. Of course, I don’t know if Little e will ever be a daddy. He may never get married or have biological or adoptive children, but that is our prayer. So, I went through three basic characteristics of what a Daddy/Husband should be: protector, provider, and leader. He should protect his children as best he can from the harm of the world and teach him how to love his protective care – while also teaching his children to protect themselves. He should provide for his children. This means working a job, whatever it takes to provide for their needs. He should also lead his children. This means teaching them about God, leading in humility and service, and leading their home. The way I taught Little e about these things at McD’s was to give him examples of what his daddy does. Like hold his hand when crossing the street. Like working every day so we have food on the table. Like praying before meals and orchestrating Family Worship time and taking us to church.

2. I pointed out good daddy qualities I already see in him (even though he’s not even 2 yet). For Little e, I told him how wonderful it is that he is joyful, funny, and hospitable. These three traits are important for Daddies to have. He is joyful – most of the time with a smile on his face – a smile that is contagious. Funny – oh this life is hard and needs to have laughter in it. Hospitable – he makes other people feel welcome and shares toys. These base traits are great to have and will come in handy as he grows up.

3. I told him about his Heavenly Father. Little e is cute and funny – but he is a sinner. He was born a sinner – in need of a Savior. And He has a Father of Lights – giver of good gifts – who doesn’t change but sent Jesus to pay the price for his sins. He is a God who will listen to his prayers and protect him at all times.

How are you raising your sons to be godly men? Invest intentionally in their little lives. You have an important role in their lives as their mother. Use it for the sake of the gospel.

parenting

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