Blogtember: The Best Day

posted in: marriage | 3

best day

Oh my goodness – this is like picking your favorite book – I have no clue how to narrow down the best day.

Ok – ready – here you go…

It was 10.9.11.  Yup – that’s right, the day after our wedding.

Of course I loved the day we got married…being surrounded by our friends and family, the engaging, expressive, full on worship we had during our ceremony, being prayed over by sweet friends and mentors, eating yummy cake, staying at the amazing Washington Duke Inn.

But the day after…you aren’t really concerned about anything.  You are just living life – with no one contacting you, or concerned with wedding details, or guests questions, or how your hair looks.  I was no longer concerned with what is my husband going to think when he wakes up to me and my hair isn’t perfect and my breath stinks.  I was no longer worried about the first night of sex (we had waited until our wedding night to have sex, and it was worth the wait).

We sat there changing our facebook statuses, looking at pictures, reading the paper, getting delicious amazing food delivered by room service, I remember the grilled salmon salad.  We watched movies.  We just relaxed.  It was wonderful.  We didn’t have to hurry off to our honeymoon destination (we ended up leaving the next day to start our 2 week road trip up the East Coast and into Canada).

I loved just being with my mister.  And he was then MY Mister.  So, if any of you are getting married – just wait until the day after – when all the stress is gone.  Wedding weekends are stressful, emotional, full of tears and joy, and amazing – but the day after—there you got it!

This picture was taken by our friend Erica Cooper – and no, we were not kissing in this photo – you’ll just have to trust me on that one!

Blogtember: My Latest Obsession

posted in: life together, marriage | 2

My Obsession

Obsession is a strong word.  Hmmmm…I’ve got one main one.  Its been my latest obsession for the past 4.5 years now.

My mister.  As we come up on our 4 year wedding anniversary, I’d have to say he gets better with age.  I can say he’s in his 40s because he is and I’m not…I’m such a baby compared to him (ha!)

He is definitely my better half.  He is the caring, shepherding person who makes any and every church that he is a part of more wonderful.  He listens to people.  He cares about them.  He takes what they say to heart.

He is an amazing musician.  Its like he doesn’t have to work at it.  It just flows from him – like worship.  Though I know he does work at it – it is more a part of him.  He loves playing with his favorite musicians: Erica, Nathan, Tim…and some penny whistle action by Phil.

He is a humble man of God who seeks to lead me gently and lead our children well.  They will know patience by knowing their daddy.

I do not get enough time with this man.  But, tonight, after he got back from a concert…he tasted the food I cooked, helped with cleanup, fixed my knife block, and now we are sitting on the couch both working on our computers.

He is amazing.  I’m obsessed with him.  And will be for the next 60 years so Lord willing.

Raising Boys in a Post-Biblical Marriage Culture

Raising Boys in the Post-Biblical Marriage Culture

It is no surprise to most people that the SCOTUS handed down a favorable win for same-sex marriage yesterday.  This doesn’t surprise me at all because we are not a theocracy nor are most of the people in government controlled by the Bible. In a way I don’t find fault with a non-Christian society to assume that all marriage should be allowed.

However, even though my family lives in America, we are more controlled by the God of the Bible and know that He is sovereign over all, Jesus is no longer in the tomb, and God even controls the government and the leaders and the decisions by His sovereign will.

That being said, I, as a parent to two little boys, have a God-given responsibility and grace to teach these little ones in my care (and my husband’s care) about a biblical view of marriage and how to be men of God.  So I’ve thought about it the last couple of days and here are some points that I will be instilling in their little souls and will pray that God captures their hearts at an early age, that they grow up to fight for Truth and freedom, and that they love God with all their hearts.

1.  God’s Word is the Truth.  There is no false teaching in the Bible.  Every word of it is true.  It is the final authority.  In our lives, it is the final authority now.  Unfortunately, those who don’t know Jesus don’t live under this truth.  They choose to disobey a loving God who has a great plan for their lives.  They will one day know that God is the only God and his truth is supreme.  2 Timothy 3.16-17

2.  God has called them to be men.  Men.  Men of truth, valor, and integrity.  Men who love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.  Men who will unite themselves to one woman for the rest of their lives and seek to live out the Gospel in their home.  Men who will lead, provide, and protect their wives and children.  Men who will fight for justice.  Men who will stand for truth. Ephesians 5

3.  God is Ruler over everything.  Many places throughout the Bible we see God the Father orchestrating the hands of government to do his will.  This decision of the SCOTUS does not surprise him one bit.  He is the Ruler and He knows all.  He has a great plan for His great fame in this country and the world. Psalm 97

4.  #lovewins is not about gay marriage.  Love won the day Jesus conquered the grave after he died for our sin. ! Corinthians 15

5.  Gospel applies to all.  When we encounter those who do not believe the truth of the Bible we have one response – to love them as Christ loved them and point them to their need for a Savior.  Romans 3

6.  They are sinners.  My boys need the Gospel. Their mommy and daddy need the gospel.  Just because we will teach them that gay marriage is wrong (against God’s final authority) doesn’t make us better.  We need Jesus. Romans 6-7

7.  Love truth.  I will teach them to love truth in every walk of life.  In playing with their friends, in learning about the Bible, in standing up for justice and truth in their school, in not shrinking back when lies prevail.  Psalm 119.9

It was a sad day.  But, I have a responsibility to my children to train them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord and will pray that they will know the Truth and the Truth will set them free.

Pursuing Marriage

posted in: marriage, Uncategorized | 0

Pursuing Marriage

Today, we celebrate.

Today marks the day that my Mister and I have been married three years.

In some ways it seems like a lifetime (just the past 6 months seems like a lifetime ago), and in some ways it seems like we’ve just begun.  Instead of writing a thank you card to my love to tell you all of his wonderful qualities – which the list would go on forever – I though I would tell you three things (for three years) that we are learning to pursue in marriage.

Pursue: to find or employ measures to obtain or accomplish – especially over the long haul or for the duration

Pursue Intimacy.  This isn’t just sex – though pursuing sex with your spouse is definitely wonderful and a lovely gift from God.  But, beyond that – pursue knowing each other, pursue dreaming together, pursue hand holding, pursuit snuggling, pursue date nights (without the kids), pursue the little things that make each other smile.  Pursue Intimacy.

Pursue Love.  This may seem crazy that we would have to pursue that as we journey together in this thing called marriage, but believe me, it is so much harder than I ever thought.  3 years ago, a great friend of ours Landis read that (for memory) 1 Corinthians 13.  I thought oh, I know this.  But, then I got to review Ryken’s book on Love and then read it with some ladies in Little Rock – and I fail miserably at this…DAILY!  Pursue forgiveness.  Pursue putting the other first.  Pursue not thinking of yourself.  Pursue patience…when the days are long and they get even longer when traffic is bad.  Pursue giving.  Pursue the One who enables you to love.

Pursue Holiness.  Set apartness.  Pursue that with each other.  You are not for anyone else…you are for your spouse.  Your eye should not go in any other direction but that of your spouse.  Something I say to Elijah all the time when it comes to helping him obey are : “Don’t even look at sin.” and “I’m helping you make a wise decision”  Both of those apply to being married.  Don’t look at sing.  And help each other make wise decisions when it comes to pursuing holiness.

And the one thing I’ve learned the most in three years of marriage: my holiness and the holiness of our marriage is only by GOD.  His Son Jesus imparted His righteousness to us.  We shelter under the cross and live by the power of the risen Christ and the empty tomb.

Therein lies the strength of our marriage.

Photo props to GreenFlash Productions

Here’s to a number of years more, my Love.  Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary

Prayers for the Journey: Nehemiah


How do your survive and thrive in marriage?  My mister and I are coming up on three years in October, and I’ve learned a lot about praying for him through these three years.  Prayer is such a vital connection in our relationship to the One who loves us like no other, who desires our hearts above all else, and who pursues us when we don’t feel loved.

Nehemiah is a book in the Old Testament that talks of a servant of the Lord who pursued fighting for his people and the land.  He worked against strong opposing odds and diligently worked on the task He knew was of the Lord.

How much more does something describe marriage?

Marriage is between two sinning servants of the Lord.  In marriage, both partners are sinners.  If you need more information, just watch how you interact with your spouse – there you go.  I’m a great sinner – see it everyday in how I communicate with and fail to love my Mister.

Marriage is a fight – it is a battle.  Yes, there are opposing people who want to see your marriage destroyed.  Look at media, news, the world, even some in the church (as we see the divorce rate just as high in the church as out of the church).  This world glamorizes the wedding – but not so much the marriage.

This task of marriage is from the Lord.  The Lord designed marriage ultimately for his glory and to show a lost world the glory of the Gospel.  The only way to survive and thrive in marriage is with the Lord on your side!

In the series of e-books I’m doing – devotional, prayer guides for wives to use to pray for their husbands – Nehemiah is here! You can get it free by clicking and downloading.  I’m thankful for Amy, Jeanie, and Laura who helped this one come together.  Eric – thank  you for reading it and being blessed by it.

Love your marriage.  Love God.  Pray for your spouse.  And if you aren’t married ladies – pray for your future spouse (if God so wills) now!


kd316 Photography: Sweetheart Shoot: Gina & Brad

posted in: life together, marriage, photo shoot | 1

Marshmallows.  You normally don’t think of the gooey sugary treat as being something that will bind friends together.  But, before I met my husband, I made marshmallows from scratch for the first time and put it on my blog.  When we came to Arkansas in view of a call for our church, Gina, the wonderful spunky lady in these photos, came up to me and said, “I think we are going to be friends, you make marshmallows.”
And yes, we are friends, and love to make marshmallows together.  Thankful to her and Brad, their story, and the Shoe – all their children that God has blessed them with.  For these photos we went to downtown Mabelvale, the booming metropolis, and enjoyed the trees, benches, church, bbq joint, and a set of railroad tracks.

Thank you Gina & Brad for letting me share your life with my readers!

The Eggs








What Oatmeal Taught Me About Marriage (Cinnamon Raisin Honey Oats)

posted in: food, marriage | 0

cinnamon raisin honey oats

Just for disclosure sake: I have permission from my husband to share this story. He said he learned a lot from it early in our marriage and he wants to make sure that others learn the same lesson for the good of their marriage!

We had probably been married three months or so and having oatmeal most of those mornings. I had always cooked my whole oats in the microwave. I figured that’s how you did it. I hit the button for 1.45 and let them do their thing. Mister gladly ate them and never said anything about it so I thought they were fine. Well, come to find out, he didn’t eat them that way. One morning he said something to the affect of I don’t like my oats cooked this way. I want them cooked longer and less sweet. I probably burst into tears when he said that. Why cry over oats?

I had been doing them wrong all that time and he was just now telling me? Some of you are probably saying what a sweet husband, not to make a big deal out of the small and eating them because he loves his wife. That’s a great response and that’s exactly what he did. But, that wasn’t good for me. You see…I want to please my husband, especially in the kitchen. I love to cook and I want people to love to eat what I cook. So, after I got done crying, I asked him how he wanted them and have tried since to make them that way. Yes, its a little more work, but it pleases him and he eats them and never comments on them anymore except to say “Thank you, can you make these every day this week?”

Moral of the story: if your spouse does something that irritates you or doesn’t please you, you may want to find a gentle way to tell them how you would like it. Marriage is for the long haul – you might as well be happy in the little things! Philippians 2.3-4 is a great verse for our marriage. We read it on the night we got engaged. So applicable! What I wanted to know is how to please my husband in the little things: how to fold his shirts, his socks, hot to cook his oats, make his bed, etc. I want to do these things to please him. If I don’t know, how can I please him?

Wives, ask your husbands what would please him? Make every effort to do these things. Husbands, please be honest with your wives! And thank her for cooking your food for you!


Cinnamon Raisin Honey Oats
Recipe type: Breakfast
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 2-4
Simple, lightly sweet morning oats
  • 1½ cups uncooked oats (plus a handful)
  • 1½ cups water
  • 1½ cups whole milk
  • 1 T raw honey
  • 1 tsp cinnamon sugar mixture
  • ⅔ cup raisins
  • milk for serving
  1. Heats all on a stove top until boiling, stirring constantly, until desired doneness.
  2. Put in a bowl
  3. Top with milk

A Practical Way to Revolutionize Your Marriage

posted in: marriage | 1

Revolutionize Your Marriage

I don’t know of any married woman who says “My marriage is perfect, we don’t need to improve in any area.”  Its just not said.  If it were said, there would be less divorces, no need for marriage counselors, or all the books in every bookstore about how to improve your marriage.

This is a simple, practical post. There are many spiritual things you can do to impact your marriage: pray (find a prayer journal here), read Spiritual Books, submit to your husband, and apply the gospel to every aspect of marriage.  This blog post won’t cover any of those but it more practical in nature.

Do this every day and I guarantee you will find more happiness in your marriage.  We’ve tried it – and it works.

Find out what blesses your husband and seek every day to do that very thing.

Here are some ways that plays out in our marriage.

Today: I made the bed. (My bed was seldom made before I got married). Sometimes, my husband makes it, but today I did.  I made decaf slightly sweetened tea.  He loves to have tea to drink at night with our dinner but can’t do the caffeine that late at night.  So, I made tea.  It took all of 10 minutes of hands-off time in the kitchen.  Not difficult.

This week I’ve taken to decluttering one area of our home each week day.  Clutter isn’t a good thing for my husband.  He likes a neat home when he walks in the door.  So, this week I’ve decluttered two areas in our master bedroom and put away and sorted all the boys’ clothes upstairs, and cleared off the fridge with all the Christmas cards we’ve received (we will be praying through those at meal times in our home).

Sometimes: its make his favorite meal. My husband’s favorite meal is spaghetti casserole.  It is not the most healthy dish to be made.  But, that is why it blesses him.  He really loves it but it is not my normal go-t0.  So, when I do make it he knows I’m making it primarily for him.

Here is the bottom line.  None of these things that I’ve mentioned may mean squat to your husband.  But, they mean a lot to my husband.  Key to this working is: study your husband.  Ask him what will bless him.  Ask him about tasks he would like you to complete during the day or sometime that week.  Make those items a priority on your to-do list that day.

And please, come back and let me know how it makes a difference in your marriage!  Blessings!

Read Philippians 2:3-4 for more info on this topic!

Photo credit: my ring and Erica Cooper Photography

31Days (5): Study Christ

posted in: 31days, marriage, Uncategorized | 2


One of the pieces of advice I give new brides (or brides-to-be) is more than anything in marriage (from a human standpoint) – study your husband.  With all the marriage, sex, and relationship books out there, knowing what pleases your husband (and isn’t a sin) is a great thing that you can bring to the every day life!

Here are some things I know about my husband after 2 years of marriage:

1.  He doesn’t like clutter.

2.  He is a sharp dresser.

3.  He likes good shoes (think Johnston & Murphy).

4.  He is more of an introvert than I am.

5.  He loves Jesus and pursues the Word and the God who wrote it.

6.  He likes his sleep.

7.  He likes it when I put in my contacts instead of wearing my glasses.

Little things – right?  Right!  But, those 7 things may not apply to your husband.  That is why you have to know your husband. I was told so many different things about what men like when I was engaged.  I didn’t care and still don’t care what other men like.  There is only one man on this earth that I regard his opinion to the utmost: my husband.

Gloria Furman writes this in Glimpses of Grace:

“We ought to take pains to study Christ.  We study Christ because we’ve been saved for the purpose of being transformed into his image,

and in our beholding, the work of transformation occurs.”  (pg 68)

How do you study Christ?  The main way is to look at the Word of God – which all of it actually points to Christ.  We are reading The Jesus Storybook Bible to Little Buddy at night.  I love how she makes all the stories point to the Great Hero.  All of them, even OT ones.

How can you know what you are supposed to be looking like if you don’t know Christ?

How can we know Christ if we don’t study Christ?

31Days: (4): One way to enjoy marriage

posted in: marriage, Uncategorized | 0

Campbell Christmas 842

“Enjoy your husband!” – Cara Croft – The Pastor’s Family

In the next few days we will be celebrating our two year anniversary. So much has happened in two years, but that is not what this blog is for. One of the joys of my marriage to the Mister has been meeting and getting to know this couple: Brian and Cara Croft – who wrote the new book The Pastor’s Family.

I remember before getting married, the Crofts came to Durham for vacation and we sat together for a meal at the Mister’s home. I felt like I had known them for years and I’m glad they approved of me (or the Mister may have had second thoughts).

Anyway, this blog is not to talk about the Crofts either. I want to give you an assignment for the weekend:


Whatever that will look like for you. It will look differently for every person. Encourage him, spend time with him (inside and outside of the bedroom), put his needs before your own or the kids, make his favorite meal, laugh with him, watch one of his favorite shows, enjoy the fall weather outside with him taking a walk or a hike.

“For your love is better than wine, your anointing oils are fragrant.” – Songs 1:2-3

Be creative! Just love on the one you have married!


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